Tag Archives: how to

10 Simple, Fool-Proof Recipes For Absolute Kitchen Beginners

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Basic ingredients and supplies for beginning cooks
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Cooking Q&A!
Learning to cook
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10 Fool-Proof Recipes For Absolute Beginners

To all those people who say “I can’t cook/bake!” Repeat after me: Practice makes perfect. Practice makes perfect. Practice makes perfect. The #1 mistake I see kitchen beginners making is trying recipes that sound awesome but put an amateur in way over their heads – too many ingredients, too much set-up, too much chopping, too much multitasking, too many judgment calls that require a higher skill level in the kitchen. Diving into a complicated recipe without much experience is a surefire way to convince yourself that you’re destined for a life of takeout.

But have no fear! Here are ten recipes you CAN make, and that will make a foundation for most breakfasts, dinners, and desserts you’ll learn to make in the future. There’s only a few ingredients in each recipe, most of which you probably already have, and you’ll only need very basic kitchen equipment. Bon appétit! Keep reading »

How To: Spank And Get Spanked

It’s tricky to find out how many people are doing it, but you don’t have to look further than pop culture to see we’ve got spanks on the brain: paddlings make appearances everywhere from old episodes of “I Love Lucy,” to the 2004 flick “Along Came Polly,” to Broadway’s hit show “Spring Awakening.”

The posterior is full of its own nerves, and the bum is also located near the body’s sensory hot spots—a man’s scrotum and a woman’s vulva. A naughty maneuver like spanking is a great way to send ripples through the skin and stimulate that entire area, Dr. Yvonne Fulbright says. Read more on Your Tango…

5 Simple Halloween Hairstyles (And Costumes To Go With Them!)

Halloween is inching closer each day (funny how that works!), so it’s about panic time for those of us who don’t have costumes already in mind. If you’re more beauty-minded, why not work backwards and gather some inspiration from one of these easy step-by-step hair tutorials, which we’ve paired perfectly with a handful of costumes to go with ‘em? Even if you’re uncomfortable with a curling iron, or can’t French braid to save your life, there’s bound to be something for you in one of these five looks …

8 Bizarre “How To” Sex Videos I Randomly Found On YouTube (NSFWish)

Absurd Puberty Videos
These puberty videos were so unhelpful. Read More »

It’s one of those almost 100-degree days when you feel so sweaty that your brain kind of shuts down and you experience ennui that can only be cured by frozen yogurt, Prancercise gifs or old clips of the “Maury Povich Show” (thank you, Julie). It was in this state that found myself in a dark corner of the internet searching for “how to” sex videos…oh, just cuz that seemed like the right thing to do today. IT WAS. From an animated, dancing penis with a face to how to make sexual bird calls at a hobo, watching these videos is the equivalent of rubbing ice cubes on your brain.  Please enjoy the weirdest instructional sex videos YouTube has to offer. While they are not of the hardcore variety, they may still be a little NSFW, so proceed with caution. Keep reading »

How To Pee In A Jumper

Gross Bathroom Behavior
toilet
We don't want to admit it, but we do these gross things in the bathroom. Read More »
Types Of Lady Poopers
A dude breaks down the types of female poopers. Read More »
To Pee Or Not To Pee...
...specifically in the shower. Do you? Read More »
Dealbreaker: Pee
He asked her to pee on him. It was not what she was expecting. Read More »

I was late to work today. Well, I’m late every day because I seem to have a high rate of mishaps first thing in the morning, but today I was super late. I woke up early, with a vow to be on time. That’s how it always begins. At 6:50 a.m., my roommate knocked on my door to tell me there was no hot water. This is becoming a way-too-normal occurrence in my apartment lately (that’s another post). Only, today it was worse because my parents are in town and we’re having dinner tonight and I had planned to shave my legs and wash my hair, so this was particularly bad news. I decided that there was no way I could skip the hair washing, but I could get away with no leg shaving and wear one of my jumpers, of which I have many. The only issue with wearing a one piece is the whole peeing thing. And I drink an absurd amount of coffee and water, so I have to pee ALL THE TIME. Keep reading »

Beauty Breakdown: Facial Contouring 101

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Dita's Beauty Tips
Dita Von Teese
Dita Von Teese on why you should pluck your nipple hairs. Read More »

What is this “contouring” that makeup artists and celebrities speak of? I see it all the time — that subtle shadow right under their cheekbones, lifting their faces, enhancing their features, and overall making them look more beautiful than they already are. How in the world do you do it, and what products do you use? — Clueless About Contouring

Contouring done properly is one of the most important makeup lessons to be learned out of the entire lexicon. Every celebrity makeup artist does it on every celebrity. We never see our favorite stars hit the red carpet without it. You may recognize it from this classic image, forever imprinted in our hearts and minds… Keep reading »

How To Be Really Good At Being Really Depressed

Almie: Hipstar vs. Pornstar
How to totally transform your look. Read More »
Almie: Wanking tips
How to wank with someone else in the room! Read More »
Ask Almie: Love Letter
How not to write one, based on a letter Almie once wrote. Read More »
"Step one: stop showering."

Almie Rose knows a thing or two about a thing or two. In this installment, Almie dissects the finer points of how to deal when you’re depressed. Or, maybe, how not to deal. In any case, it’s always a good idea to make videos with your pets.

Ask Almie: How To Go From Hipstar To Pornstar

Ask Almie: Love Letter
How not to write one, based on a letter Almie once wrote. Read More »
Ask Almie: Mitt Romney
Almie shows us how to use Mitt Romney to get guys. Read More »
Ask Almie: Older Men
Almie shows us how to make time with an older guy. Read More »
Start By Taking Off Those Glasses!

Almie Rose is a versatile young lady. Want proof? Check out her informative transformation from regular ol’ Silverlake hipstar girl, replete with glasses and sweater, to lip glossed porn star. And you’ll want to do this, of course, because boys love porn stars.

18 How To Books That Will Solve All Of Your Problems

Do you have problems pooping at work? Are you venturing into the wild world of gay anal sex? Do you fear that a large ship is secretly stalking you? Then there’s a how to book for you! We’ve found 18 unbelievable how to books that’ll help you become better at virtually everything. Like, seriously, everything.

You’ll thank us for improving your life, really.

 

Beauty Cues: Katie Holmes Is Green And Gilded On The Cover Of “Bazaar” Russia

Beauty Cues: Rosie
The stunning model is looking awfully, um, rosy. Read More »
Beauty Cues: Kate Hudson
Get her romantic makeup look for yourself! Read More »
Katie's A Bad Ass
Five reasons why Katie Holmes is our new hero. Read More »

It’s been some time since our long-running Free Katie campaign finally came to fruition, and there seems to be just the atmospheric shift we were hoping for: Suri is enrolled in a real brick-and-mortar school for mortals, and not only was Katie Holmes able to offer her Holmes & Yang presentation at NYFW, but she’s appearing on magazine covers again! The October issue of Harper’s Bazaar Russia features the actress and designer in some gorgeous opulent clothing, but what I’m really interested in is her eye makeup. It’s dark and smoldering, as are most smoky eye looks, but it’s subtly different and therefore more interesting because rather than being done in shades of black and grey, the colors ― deep metallic green and a warm reddish brown ― are more on the peacock spectrum. Obviously hers is beautifully, artfully done, but I know how to get a similar look in a simpler way that requires little more than five minutes and an index finger or two… Keep reading »

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