You have no excuse to not go to the movies this weekend. Did you know that on average, Americans are only seeing five movies a year?!?! How do you even pick five movies a year—I want to see at least five movies a month and am heartbroken when I have to save one to watch…
Bonus points for that brow cred.
Exceptions made for Josh Duggar, who need only write a note of apology to Jesus H. Christ.
Somebody call the wahmbulance.