Let’s talk about anxiety dreams, shall we? They suck. But we all have them, no matter how much we have our act together in real life. Anxiety dreams happen when the stress, fear and worries of daily life infiltrate our unconscious mind. Or conversely, when there’s some crap we’re not ready to deal with, the anxiety will express itself through dream imagery. After an anxiety dream, we often wake up in the morning, or drenched in sweat in the middle of the night, with heart-pounding fear, feeling exhausted, like we didn’t sleep at all. Keep reading »
Tag Archives: how to deal
5 Kinda Weird Ways My OCD Manifests Itself
I don’t obsessively wash my hands; in fact, I spend most of my time barefoot, germs faze me that little. I don’t feel an inexplicable need to count things. I don’t have any good luck charms, either physical (objects) or mental (numbers, letters, etc.). But I do have moderate OCD that has, over the course of my life, manifested itself in various ways at varying degrees of intensity.
OCD runs in my family; both my late grandmother and my uncle were/are incredibly repetitive people. My mom also has certain OCD behaviors; leaving her neat and orderly nest to go to college caused my OCD to emerge so I could instill a sense of order that I needed to feel safe. Looking back, my most extreme periods of obsessive compulsive behavior coincided with times when I was most unhappy, stressed, or conflicted about something. Attending to my various OCD needs gave me a place to focus all my anxiety and helped calm my mind. For a few years, I cleaned my apartment constantly, mopping the kitchen floor three times a day and fretting over whether my bedspread was laid perfectly symmetrical across my bed. I could spot a dust bunny from 30 feet away. It was maddening, but you could eat breakfast off my bathroom floor.
Nowadays, for a variety of reasons — medication that manages my associated issues with anxiety and ADD, general satisfaction with my life, ongoing therapy, a housekeeper who comes once a month, and new learned coping mechanisms — my OCD is much better. Sometimes I let dishes sit in the sink overnight. My remote control does not have to sit perfectly straight on my coffee table. I would vacuum less if Lucca didn’t shed so much. But my OCD does come out in some kind of random, less obvious ways. Here are some of them… Keep reading »
Saturday Playlist: Songs That Helped Us Deal
In honor of How To Deal Week, today’s Saturday Playlist is a collection of songs that helped us get through tough times in our lives. These are the songs we listened to as we dealt with break-ups, death, depression, family drama, being alone in a new city, and realizing our high school crush was never going to like us back. Listen to it as a whole, or pick and choose the tracks that speak to you, but either way, we hope this music will help you deal with whatever you’re going through. And believe us, it will get better… Keep reading »
12 Self-Help Books That Actually Work
Self help books get a bad rap sometimes, I think. They’re seen as the province of walking, talking “Cathy” cartoons and hippie-dippie-fruit-loop types. That couldn’t be less true: there are many different types of self-help books for all kinds of problems. Some books are more spiritual while others are more practical, as in teaching you techniques of coping with depression and anxiety. Not only is a good self-help book cheaper than paying for therapy — even if it’s just a co-pay!— but you can circle sections, fold over pages, and come back to them whenever you read.
I scoured my own bookshelf and that of The Frisky staff to find the best self-help books we’ve ever read — ones that actually work!
This piece is part of The Frisky’s How To Deal Week, in which we’re tackling mental health issues.
Girl Talk: I Had An Eating Disorder
This piece is part of The Frisky’s How To Deal Week, in which we’re tackling mental health issues.
A week before my high school graduation, my doctor told me that I had to go to the hospital.
My weight had fallen too low, my EKG results were scary, and my continued refusal to eat was putting my life in danger. While my classmates went to college orientation, I went to nutrition counseling and group therapy. For two years I had faithfully obeyed the voice in my head that told me that if I ate more than the acceptable amount of food (an amount that kept getting smaller and smaller), I would be weak, my body and the world would spin out of control, and something terrible would happen. And yet something terrible was happening anyway.
I was losing every bit of control over my life, and goals I had spent years working towards — a scholarship to an elite college, freedom from my family and small town — were slipping from my grasp. I realized there was something I feared even more than the voice in my head, and I started to fight back. I obeyed the nutritionist even when my mind told me it couldn’t possibly be okay to eat this much food. I started to gain weight. And in the fall I enrolled in college. Keep reading »
Girl Talk: How Being A Control Freak Ruined My Life (And How I Learned To Let It Go)
This piece is part of The Frisky’s How To Deal Week, in which we’re tackling mental health issues.
I suppose in some ways I was destined to become a control freak. I was born into a proud dynasty of control freaks. My family is Italian, and growing up it was made very clear to me that a woman’s job is to keep everyone–especially the men–in line. Not only was I the oldest child, I was the only girl with three younger brothers, so I had a big job to do. If one of my brothers did something dumb, I could expect a call from my grandma asking why I’d “let him act that way.” “You have to control your brothers,” my great aunt would tell me as she rolled out biscotti dough. “If you don’t, who will?” Keep reading »
5 Reasons It’s Important To Ask For Help
This piece is part of The Frisky’s How To Deal Week, in which we’re tackling mental health issues.
As an oldest child/perfectionist/control freak/Taurus, asking for help is one of my least favorite things. Whether I’m doing a crossword puzzle or weathering an emotional storm, I’ll handle it on my own, thankyouverymuch. Over the past year, though, I’ve been dealing with some pretty intense life changes and found myself in the position where I literally couldn’t get through it alone. I was drowning, and I had no choice but to reach out and grab the outstretched hands of my amazing friends, who pulled me to shore and gently guided me toward the office of a therapist, where I swallowed my pride and said, “You know what? I’m not doing so well.” In the process, I learned how important it is to be able to ask for help, especially when you’re feeling lost, overwhelmed, or alone. Here’s why… Keep reading »
Fighting A War Against An Invisible Enemy, Soldiers Battle PTSD
Desperation, depression — and an overwhelming feeling of desertion — are the dangerous components that have contributed to the rising tide of suicide and mental health problems in the military. Just this week it was announced that for the sixth year in a row, suicide among members of the armed forces is on the rise. Mental health has been a growing problem in the military, as waves of soldiers continue to return from Afghanistan and Iraq in much worse shape than they left. New statistics reveal that for the second year in a row, more soldiers have killed themselves than been killed in active duty. July 2012 was the worst month for military suicides to date, with 39 self-inflicted deaths reported. That’s up from 24 the month before. Suicide is now the leading cause of death among soldiers.
4 Ways To Dump Your Shrink
As is the case with any relationship gone south, sometimes you need to break up with your therapist. Maybe you feel ready to fly in the world on your own, or you’ve stopped connecting, or maybe she said something awful, like “You shouldn’t cry so much.” I don’t care how much she helped you unpack your mommy issues, she’s not going to be of any more assistance saying crap like that. So you know you need to dump your shrink, but how? It seems like it would be easier than breaking up with someone you’ve been sleeping with. But sometimes, because of the intimate nature of things you share with your therapist, it’s harder. You have a few options. Some shrink dumping approaches after the jump. Keep reading »
Girl Talk: In Defense Of Retail Therapy
I have seen a therapist off and on since my first panic attack at age 14. Talk therapy (and the delightful mood-soothing properties of 20 mg of Lexapro) are the reason I can put on pants and leave my house in the morning. With their help, I’ve learned how to self-soothe anger and disappointment, combat the negative self-talk that leads to depression, and create boundaries with my loved ones. My current therapist is this rad little old Italian lady who not only gets me but champions my very Jessica-ness. My life is infinitely more manageable for me under her care and as such I am the world’s biggest proponent of talk therapy. [Nuh-uh, I am! -- Editor]
But all of that doesn’t change a separate fact: sometimes what really makes me feel good is retail therapy. Keep reading »
