Color me cynical ladies, but let’s face it—no matter how great your relationship might be going at the moment, chances are it’s going to end. And while breaking up is never pleasant, why make the inevitable anymore painful than it has to be? Since there are very few “great” ways to dump a man, we’re going to list all the ways you shouldn’t go about kicking your once-loved to the curb:

The unholy trinity of Photoshop, spell check and the Internet mean that even the most illiterate, personality-deficient, hideous troll can land a first date, much to a lady’s disappointment. Landing a second date is the tricky bit, so when you realize you’d like to never see this guy again, there are some tried and true strategies to assure that he decides the first date is also the last.