Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Tag Archives: hot celeb guys
This piece was originally published at xoJane. Yes, Amelia is very, very, very jealous.
The first time we met, I had no clue who the short, skinny white guy with the scruffy looking beard was.
It was 2005 and me and two of my besties from high school were catching up at the Golden Gopher, a what’s-that-smell? dive bar in downtown LA with OG video games for tables and no food.
We’d just ordered a pizza from to be delivery right to our Pac Man table when the aforementioned random white boy rolled up.
“Hey girls.” Not used to being hit on downtown (this was waaay before it got cool), I figured he was probably a homeless teenager, but my friends were awestruck. Keep reading »
Someone hand me a pack of Crayola crayons because I am about to apeshit coloring my dream man exactly the way I want him. More selections from the Colour Me Good: Ryan Gosling coloring book after the jump! (And you can buy it for yourself at the link!) [Maiden.BigCartel.com] Keep reading »
Ryan Lochte, medal-winning swimmer, pool pisser, and chaste ladies’ man, continued to celebrate his 28th birthday in London this week, even leaving da clurb with a pretty blonde. I wonder what she’s whispering in his ear? “What your mom doesn’t know can’t hurt her”? Click on to see more photos, including Lochte’s rad David Bowie shirt which I am totally going to steal from his closet when we sleep together.
So here we are, approaching the end of the 2012 Summer Olympics. What a wild ride it’s been, eh? From the Queen parachuting out of a helicopter, to Jordyn Wieber’s heartbreak, to Ryan Lochte’s tacky grill, perfect bod, and one-night stands.
I have a rough time when any big sporting event rolls around, and that’s because a) I’m utterly uninterested in sports, and b) I’m utterly addicted to TV. This means that, if there is a big sporting event being aired, I feel compelled to watch for the sole purpose of having something to do. And this, in turn, means I have to come up with some way to make it interesting.
What I did for the 2012 Summer Olympics, is watch with a keen eye for the physiques and unique talents of the various athletes. And I imagined having sex with them. Wait! No. It was more specific than that, really. I imagined the before, during, and after of having sex with them, with a focus on the special gift each individual athlete would bring to the experience. Click through for a compilation of my observations. Keep reading »
Happy birthday wishes are in order for America’s favorite fast swimmer (he’s just slower at everything else), Ryan Lochte! The Olympic gold medalist rang in his 28th year at Planet Hollywood in London, because, duh, where else would this dreamboat go to party, right? While Lochte is currently single (and not sleeping around — that’s not how the Lochte household defines “one night stands,” okay?), he did tell E! News that he’s interested in settling down. “Yeah, I mean I definitely want a relationship. I want to give a certain someone my heart,” Lochte said. “I mean, I just gotta find the right girl.” I’m sure there are many ladies willing to make themselves his birthday gift.
Dude. Dude. I am really, really into Jake Gyllenhaal’s Paul Bunyon-inspired wooliness on the cover of Details’ September issue. Let’s go chop some wood, if you know what I mean… Anyway, the actor has a decidedly more manly look and vibe to him in both the magazine’s photos and interview, in which he talks a lot about his approach to acting. He’s got two films coming out — “End of Watch” and “An Enemy” — which required him to play vastly different characters, both physically and mentally. The former, a bulked up cop, and the second, a nerdy history professor (hence, the beard?). Sounds like the perfection combination, if you ask me. Check out some more photos above, and read the interview at the link! [Details]
Ryan Gosling is back in New York! No wonder it’s so hot out. If anyone needs me, I’ll just be doing laps around the East Village.
Olympic athletes automatically become role models or a special, super-talented type of celebrity in the eyes of us commoners. They have SO much dedication, so much perseverance, so much spirit. They give their lives away to the sport of their choice and while doing so, give UP so much as well. It’s easy to see why we place them on pedestals and Olympic podiums.
But some Olympic athletes have more than just an incredible drive. They have incredible looks. Ryan Lochte, oh swoon. He is just gorgeous. Unfortunately, though, according to his mother, he only has time for “one-night stands”. What a serious shame. But luckily, after doing a little bit of research, I have discovered 10 tips that are sure to win you more than just one glorious night with him, 10 tips that will win you his heart. Read more…
Yesterday afternoon, my friend texted me the following: “Two word: Nathan. Adrian.” Huh? I figured it had to be swimming related, as her husband used to be a competitive swimmer and, like, the Olympics are very important around their house. Sure enough, I did a quick Google and it turned out that Nathan Adrian is A) HOT and B) had just won the gold medal in the 100m freestyle. Let’s use this wonderful achievement as an excuse to ogle this 6’6, half-Chinese hunk of man, mmkay? Keep reading »