If there’s one thing in this world I have to thank Meghan McCain for, it’s “Paranormal Activity.” I went to see this horror movie last night, after the Daily Beast blogette wrote on her Twitter:

“Ohhh my GOD!!!!!! One of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen!!! My adrenalin is still pumping and I think I left nail marks in Ramins arm!!! What the f**k paranormal experience?!? Get ur asses to the theatre to see paranormal activity - haven’t seen a movie that good in a very long time!”

When Meghan McCain tells me to do something, I listen.

So remember how we told you about Lars von Trier’s “Antichrist,” the movie that made waves on the festival circuit for being totally nasty? Well, that film’s testicle-smashing and clitoris-slicing might seem like a cakewalk in comparison to “The Human Centipede.” Here is the “plot” synopsis for this horror movie:

“Two American girls are on a road trip through Europe. In Germany they end up with a broken car in the woods. They search for help and find an isolated villa. The next day they awake to find themselves trapped in a terrifying make shift basement hospital along with a Japanese man. A German man identifies himself as a retired surgeon specialized in separating Siamese twins. However his three “patients” are not about to be separated, but joined together in an horrific operation. He plans to be the first person to connect people via their gastric system, in doing so bringing to life his sick lifetime fantasy “the human centipede.”

Allow me to use layman’s terms: ass-to-mouth. If you’re crazytown enough to actually want to watch one of the scenes, you can do so at BuzzFeed. I, on the other hand, am going to go wash my eyes out with peroxide. [Shock Till You Drop]

Megan Fox‘s “Jennifer’s Body” came out last weekend, bringing writer Diablo Cody back into the spotlight we left her in, covered in rotten tomatoes from irate “Juno” haters. Sure, there is “The United States of Tara,” but Toni Collette won that Emmy for a reason: She’s working with so little. But so far, there’s been tentative praise for the horror/comedy “Jennifer’s Body,” where Cody’s quirky dialogue fits right in amongst the bloodshed. Think “Heathers” meets “Rosemary’s Angry Teenage Daughter.”

“Jennifer’s Body,” a horror flick starring Megan Fox and written by Diablo Cody, is out September 19, which means it’s time for another article postulating: “Why Do Women Like Horror Movies?”

Nice try, Entertainment Weekly, but, no, us girls don’t like horror flicks for the “strong female leads,” whomever those might be. Or because we can cuddle with a man during the cover-your-eyes parts.

No, I love horror movies because they make me feel bad-ass, like I’m “one of the boys,” so to speak. It takes a strong stomach to sit through two hours of shocks, jolts, and adrenal surges, and not every cream puff can hack it. I might paint my nails baby girl pink and sleep with a teddy bear sometimes. But I saw the zombie flick “Quarantine” in theaters twice, and my boyfriend, who says scary movies keep him up at night, wouldn’t dare watch it once.

Screenwriter Diablo Cody’s latest endeavor, following “Juno,” is a decidedly more bloody affair. The horror flick, “Jennifer’s Body,” stars Megan Fox (groan), a guyliner-wearing Adam Brody (swoon!), and a typically wholesome Amanda Seyfried, and tells to story of a murderous high school hottie. Jennifer apparently has a thing for killing dudes, so I suppose there’s some sort of a girl power message going on. I’m a Megan Fox hater, but even I might put aside my distaste and see this flick—it looks hilariously awesome. NSFW (language issues) trailer, after the jump!

Ah, horror films. If you found the corpse of a dead woman in a mental institution basement, you’d totes have sex with it, right? Then chop up the body parts…until she comes alive and eats you.

Such is the plot of “Deadgirl”, a new horror flick, whose movie poster even looks vaginal! Looks like conservatives and feminists can finally find some common ground…to freak the f**k out.

Alas, “Deadgirl” leaves us horror-film loving feminists grappling with many serious questions. Is having sex with a zombie necrophilia? Or is it rape, because she’s actually partially alive? Can necrophilia also be rape?

And also, what the hell is wrong with people?

Lars von Trier’s newest film “Antichrist” has been getting tons of buzz at Cannes this year, but not the kind you’d expect from the venerable director of “Dogville” and the Dogme 95 movement. Instead, “Antichrist” was greeted by boos and disgust. The film, which centers on Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg after the death of their child, includes a scene so incredibly gruesome that I won’t bother to describe them again—Amelia already made you lose your breakfast last week. Lets just say the buzzwords for the violent climax (so to speak) involve the removal of at least two important pieces of male hardware during the act of lovemaking. Oh, and the movie also has a talking fox.