Tag Archives: honesty

Here’s What Happens When You Make An OKCupid Profile That’s Actually Honest

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honesty on ok cupid

Let’s be real, honesty terrifies people — probably more than almost anything else. We like to fill our social interactions with surface-level conversations about how we’re “doing just fine” and save the real stuff for a select few people we trust. Even then, it’s tempting to only confide deep feelings that reflect well on us and push the ugliest stuff  deep down. Do the masks we wear cause us to lose out on potential deep connections? Probably.

Brooklyn artist Jessica Prusa wanted to see what would happen if she skipped the surface-level niceties and presented her most vulnerable, raw thoughts to strangers. So, as she explained on The Hairpin, Jessica created an OKCupid profile (originally for a nude self portrait-themed art exhibit in New York) that explores the honesty of the Internet when paired with the accountability of having your name and face next to your words. Her profile shared some of her deepest thoughts and fears, as she hoped to gauge how men would respond to blunt truthfulness instead of the “best self” we tend to present in our online personas.  Keep reading »

Oops! A Checkout Error Scored My Friend Two Free Dresses!

Shopping Ban
This writer banned herself from buying -- and it backfired. Read More »

This weekend, I went shopping with a friend of mine, doing what I do best, i.e. encouraging her to buy everything she looked cute in (and vice versa, although I didn’t look cute in anything, SAD FACE). “You’re so bad to shop with!” she exclaimed, holding a pile of clothes as we waited in line at the register. “I’m spending so much money…”

When it was her turn at the register, we stood there chatting as the salesperson rang up all her items and bagged them. She announced the total and my friend paused our conversation to hand over her credit card. We made eye contact as she signed her receipt, and I could tell both of us were thinking the same thing. When we got out of the store and had safely turned the corner, we both stopped in our tracks.

“Wait, wait, wait, how was your total that little?” I asked frantically. “It should have been twice that!” Keep reading »

Guy Talk: Learning To Be A Husband, Not A Son

Not so long ago, my wife and I were talking to a recently-divorced friend of ours. She’s younger than we are, in her early thirties, and as far as she’s concerned, she’s never tying the knot again. Not because of an objection to the institution, but because she’s convinced that most men marry for one reason: they want to be taken care of emotionally.

“I got tired of thinking about someone else’s needs all the time,” our friend said. “I’m prepared to take care of a baby. But I don’t want my first-born to be my second child.” When she heard that, my wife turned to me and gave me a grin. She knows my history.

In three previous marriages and a handful of other long-term relationships (I haven’t been single for long since I was 16), I found myself—like so many men—taking on the parts of the “naughty boy” and the “helpless child.” Time and again, I turned wives and girlfriends into mother-figures, and the result was inevitably disastrous. Keep reading »

15 Times You Should Always Tell The Truth

Today is Tell The Truth Day and while we’ve covered — exhaustively, some might say — the top lies women tell men, men tell women, and we tell ourselves and our friends, there are certainly occasions when honesty truly is the best policy. After the jump, 15 times you should always tell the truth (to yourself or someone else). Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Honesty — Did I Do It Wrong?

I consider myself to be a pretty honest person, save the occasional white lie — “Oh yeah, I’ve read War & Peace. Thought-provoking!” However, I think telling the truth is not always easy and it doesn’t necessarily work out how you’d like it to. The goal of telling the truth shouldn’t be about relieving a guilty conscience; if being honest is going to have massive repercussions, it’s important for the truth-teller to really consider its worth; other people’s truths should be theirs to tell, unless the emotional cost to the one being lied to is that grave. Ultimately, though, I think we all decide when to be honest based on whether we would want to hear the truth ourselves. Is it a foolproof decision-making method? Definitely not, but sometimes it’s all we’ve got. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Confess I Slept With My New Friend’s Guy?”

About a month ago, I had a one-night-stand with a guy I met through some friends. Soon after, I found out that he was actually casually dating a girl I met recently through some other mutual friends. I was interested in this dude following our one-night-stand but after finding out about him and this other girl, I backed off and just decided to stay out of it. Since then, I’ve met the girl a second time and we ended up talking and hitting it off. I’m 30 and most of my friends are married and coupled up and it would be really nice to have a new single friend to hang out with — especially one I seem to have so much in common with (uh, maybe too much). Well, it turns out she has seriously strong feelings for this dude we’ve both hooked up with. From what I understand, it sounds like theirs is just a booty call/hookup situation, but she would like it to be more. Of course, I haven’t told her that I slept with him, but I felt really bad and awkward about it all. She keeps saying we should meet up for drinks and I really want to, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable withholding the truth as she frets out loud about why they’re not getting more serious, why he doesn’t call her for actual dates, etc. I don’t want her to find out eventually and be angry and hurt that I kept what I knew to myself while she went on and on about him. Do I tell her what happened between me and this dude? Keep it to myself and pray she doesn’t find out? Or avoid a friendship with her altogether even though I would really like one? — Stuck

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