Let’s be real, honesty terrifies people — probably more than almost anything else. We like to fill our social interactions with surface-level conversations about how we’re “doing just fine” and save the real stuff for a select few people we trust. Even then, it’s tempting to only confide deep feelings that reflect well on us and push the ugliest stuff deep down. Do the masks we wear cause us to lose out on potential deep connections? Probably.
Brooklyn artist Jessica Prusa wanted to see what would happen if she skipped the surface-level niceties and presented her most vulnerable, raw thoughts to strangers. So, as she explained on The Hairpin, Jessica created an OKCupid profile (originally for a nude self portrait-themed art exhibit in New York) that explores the honesty of the Internet when paired with the accountability of having your name and face next to your words. Her profile shared some of her deepest thoughts and fears, as she hoped to gauge how men would respond to blunt truthfulness instead of the “best self” we tend to present in our online personas. Keep reading »
This weekend, I went shopping with a friend of mine, doing what I do best, i.e. encouraging her to buy everything she looked cute in (and vice versa, although I didn’t look cute in anything, SAD FACE). “You’re so bad to shop with!” she exclaimed, holding a pile of clothes as we waited in line at the register. “I’m spending so much money…”
When it was her turn at the register, we stood there chatting as the salesperson rang up all her items and bagged them. She announced the total and my friend paused our conversation to hand over her credit card. We made eye contact as she signed her receipt, and I could tell both of us were thinking the same thing. When we got out of the store and had safely turned the corner, we both stopped in our tracks.
“Wait, wait, wait, how was your total that little?” I asked frantically. “It should have been twice that!” Keep reading »
Not so long ago, my wife and I were talking to a recently-divorced friend of ours. She’s younger than we are, in her early thirties, and as far as she’s concerned, she’s never tying the knot again. Not because of an objection to the institution, but because she’s convinced that most men marry for one reason: they want to be taken care of emotionally.
“I got tired of thinking about someone else’s needs all the time,” our friend said. “I’m prepared to take care of a baby. But I don’t want my first-born to be my second child.” When she heard that, my wife turned to me and gave me a grin. She knows my history.
In three previous marriages and a handful of other long-term relationships (I haven’t been single for long since I was 16), I found myself—like so many men—taking on the parts of the “naughty boy” and the “helpless child.” Time and again, I turned wives and girlfriends into mother-figures, and the result was inevitably disastrous. Keep reading »
Today is Tell The Truth Day and while we’ve covered — exhaustively, some might say — the top lies women tell men, men tell women, and we tell ourselves and our friends, there are certainly occasions when honesty truly is the best policy. After the jump, 15 times you should always tell the truth (to yourself or someone else). Keep reading »
You know how sometimes little white lies snowball out of control? It’s usually when you say something dumb, like, “Oh, yeah, I watch “Gossip Girl.”" Then the girl who sits next to you at work gives a play-by-play of each outfit the characters’ wore every Tuesday morning and you just smile politely.
But one man wrote into “Dear Prudence,” the advice columnist for Slate, to confess he’s been lying to his girlfriend about something for four years: that he has an engineering degree.
Keep reading »
Revealing the number of people you’ve fooled around with is a lot like calling your grandmother. It’s one of those things you feel like you should do, but you really don’t want to. Why? Because you know you’re going to have a loooooong, drawn out conversation that essentially makes you feel uncomfortable. Sorry, Grams, but it’s true.
While you might lie to your grandmother about that time you jumped on top of the bar and took your shirt off, lying to your new boyfriend about your “free and easy” stage is a stickier subject. So what DO you tell him? And when? Keep reading »