Moving through the world as someone who identifies as bisexual or queer, I’m always navigating difficult experiences that compartmentalize my sexuality. I’ve been labeled “indecisive” for not being more assertive in which sex I prefer to date. I’ve been called “disgusting” because my desire to date women makes some people uncomfortable or possibly more accurately, question their own sexuality. And, of course, I’ve been told that my experience is a phase that will soon become a distant memory as I evolve into heterosexuality, find the perfect man, marry and become a Quiverfull woman who embraces domesticity and leans away from my career.
But none of these experiences trouble me as much as a recent experience I had in which I, and women like me, were named sexually perverse. The U.S. Supreme Court hearing regarding California’s ban on same-sex marriage has surfaced some polemic debates on the rights of the LGBT communities. In my experience, when opponents to marriage equality aren’t being downright nasty they’re crafting negligently harmful stories that characterize same-sex loving people as menacing. We’ve all heard some of the narratives: “Gay people will convert our children,” “Giving gays the right to marry will compromise the institution of marriage,” “Gay people lack a moral compass which is why they’re okay with being gay,” and “What’s next, sex with animals?” Keep reading »
It’s not just Allison Williams who has locked lips with costar Jemima Kirke: the lovely, floaty Jemima appears in a bridal boutique lookbook for a New York City shop kissing another woman. Declaring “Fuck weddings” on their website, Stone Fox Bride says they have “a dress for every batshit bride out there,” which certainly sounds like Jessa on “Girls.” [Queerty]
Jared’s* question came during a sex party a few months ago, after some steamy foreplay organically led to this discussion: “Can I fuck you now?”
It caught me off guard, but not in an unpleasant way. Men had asked me this question before, and I was half expecting to decline, like I usually did. But I’d been fantasizing about having sex with him for months. This was opportunity knocking.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Jared continued, directing this at both me and my husband, Paul. “But it seems like the logical next step here.”
It was. “Are you okay with that?” I asked Paul. He nodded reassuringly, excited to watch me take this new step. I smiled. “Then, yes. Let’s give it a try.”
So we did. Jared became the second man I’ve ever had intercourse with, signifying a change I never thought would come: an interest in sleeping with men. Keep reading »
“I don’t have a problem with gay people. I got some gay homies. Yeah, for real. People who were gay used to get beat up. It was cool to beat up on gay people back then. But in the 90s and 2000s, gay is a way of life. Just regular people with jobs. Now they are accepted, not classified. They just went through the same things we went through as black. … Frank Ocean ain’t no rapper. He’s a singer. It’s acceptable in the singing world, but in the rap world I don’t know if it will ever be acceptable because rap is so masculine. It’s like a football team. You can’t be in a locker room full of motherf–king tough-ass dudes, then all of a sudden say, ‘Hey, man, I like you.’ You know, that’s going to be tough.”
––Well, Snoop, I’d argue that gay has been a “way of life” since, like, forever. But still, it’s interesting to hear a major figure in the rap world actually offer up some coherent thoughts on homosexuality in the rap game. And, for what it’s worth, Snoop, I do know of openly gay (and trans!) rappers who have steadily been making their way to the mainstream. There’s hope for acceptance, yet. [The Guardian]
Beauty pageants usually get the sideeye from The Frisky for their perpetuation of tired old beauty standards, so we are delighted to hear about Analouisa Valencia of South Carolina. Valencia, a 19-year-old singer who has been competing in pageants for over a decade, is African-American, Latina and a lesbian — and she’s gunning for the Miss South Carolina crown! She’s been out since 9th grade and in a relationship for the past three years with the same woman. If she wins Miss South Carolina, she hopes to make it all the way to Miss America. Not surprisingly, she isn’t looking for world peace but “equality for everyone.” LOVE. [Madame Noire, Huffington Post]
Michigan Republican National Committee member Dave Agema didn’t get the memo. Support for LGBT equality is at an all time high, poll numbers show that gay marriage is widely accepted — especially by younger generations. OH WAIT and beyond polls and numbers the LGBT community deserves to be treated like every other American with full rights, free from stigma because that’s just a decent human thing to do. Even Agema’s own party is beginning to see the light — or at least 21 of them who asked the RMC member to resign after posting anti-gay comments on Facebook. Keep reading »
My college best friend and I coined the term “bipolar week.” It was used to describe a week filled with both overwhelmingly amazing events and truly terrible moments: winning a prestigious award and then getting dumped by your boyfriend, or perhaps acing a midterm and losing a childhood pet. When reflecting on this past week, in terms of LGBT rights, I could really only describe it as a week “having or relating to two poles or extremities.” The highs: two cases before the Supreme Court to treat gays and lesbians like, you know, actual people.
The low you ask? Well the low can be found in Kansas. It’s so ridiculous it might as well be a perverse Oz: a bill passed in the State Senate which has language that would quarantine those who are HIV-positive or have AIDS. I would insert a Judy Garland joke about being a gay icon, but this is really not a laughing matter. It’s completely f**ked! Keep reading »
Welcome to the 21st century, Virginia! Despite the Supreme Court ruling in 2003 that state law can not deem sexual relations between consenting adults a “crime,” VA has continued to do so for 10 years — until this week. An appeals court finally nixed the state’s anti-sodomy law regulating “crimes against nature,” which criminalized anal and oral sex between consenting adults. The law was basically seen as a justification for VA authorities to further persecute gay and lesbian folks. Well, that is no more. Commit all the crimes against nature (between consenting adults, of course) that you want! [Huffington Post, Queerty]