Is there anything funnier (sad-funny, I mean) than bigots who are completely incredulous about the fact that they are bigots? They are so unwilling to admit it. They usually have some other excuse — which only makes sense to them — about “disagreeing with lifestyle choices,” “some of my best friends are ___,” “sexism/racism/homophobia doesn’t really exist” or “love the sinner, hate the sin.” The moral/intellectual contortions are truly something to behold.
A perfect example would Unhappy In Tampa, a woman who wrote to the advice columnist Dear Abby to complain about how their not-asshole neighbors are now socially excluding Unhappy In Tampa and her husband. Oh no! That is horrible! Why would these mean neighbors do such a thing? Because Unhappy In Tampa and her husband refused to invite their gay and lesbian neighbors to their parties:
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated to Florida a little over a year ago and were quickly welcomed into our new neighbors’ social whirl. Two couples in the neighborhood are gay — one male, one female. While they are nice enough, my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots! Keep reading »
Happy Valentine’s Day, sinners and sodomites! Yesterday, a federal judge in Virginia ruled that the state’s 2006 constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage is unconstitutional. The ban is in violation of the equal protection and due process clauses in the United States Constitution’s 14th amendment. Judge Arenda L. Wright Allen’s wrote in the ruling, “Our Constitution declares that ‘all men’ are created equal. Surely this means all of us.” She also singled out the ban for “unlawful prejudice.” (This ruling also means VA has to acknowledge same-sex marriages which are legal in other states.)
Earlier this month, VA’s Attorney General had made clear that he would not defend the same-sex marriage ban on behalf of the state. Gay marriage opponents are already planning to appeal the decision and it’s likely this could head to the Supreme Court. [New York Times, CNN, NPR]
After my traditional engagement to my high school sweetheart fell apart, I was faced with the prospect of another devastating loss: the deportation of my best friend Emir. Desperate to stay in America, Emir tried every legal recourse to obtain a green card, knowing that his return to the Middle East—where gay men are often beaten and sometimes killed—was too dangerous. In an effort to keep him safe and by my side, I proposed to Emir. After a quickie wedding in Las Vegas, we faced new adventures and obstacles in both L.A. and New York City as we tried to dodge the INS. Our relationship was further complicated by the fact that my mother works for the State Department, preventing immigration fraud. In my memoir, The Marriage Act, I delve into the changing face of marriage in America and look at the emergent generation forming bonds outside of tradition—and sometimes even outside the law.
Below is an excerpt:
I remember the citrus salads and late-afternoon Cosmopolitans in the sunny outdoor courtyard of the Abbey, our favorite West Hollywood gay bar. I remember how strange it felt to walk to his apartment rather than drive even though he lived only three blocks away from me. I can’t remember the precise instance when Emir first brought up the verging-on-problematic visa situation. It might have been at a sushi restaurant, or over lunches at the Abbey, or while in line at what the boys around the neighborhood called “the gay Starbucks” on Santa Monica. Emir wanted to stay in the United States past this year to avoid going back into the closet in Emiristan and living with his father. In order to stay, he had to find a job before his visa expired in December, a year after graduation. I told him I was sure he’d find something and I believed it; Emir was creative, intelligent, outgoing, and capable. The possibility that he might not find a way to stay did not cross my mind during those early conversations. Keep reading »
Michael Sam, a football player who recently graduated from the University of Missouri, publicly came out as gay in a video posted to The New York Times’ website this weekend. “I’m coming out now because I want to own my truth,” Sam said. “I didn’t want anyone to break a story without me telling it. … I can’t tell society to agree with this or not agree with this, but hopefully society will rally around this and support me, too. ”
As Missouri’s most valuable player and one of the top defensive linemen in college football, the 24-year-old Texan is expected to be an early-round NFL draft pick. He would be the first-ever openly gay player in the NFL. Keep reading »