Great gay news today: The U.S. appeals court of New York struck down the contentious Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which defines marriage as strictly that which can take place between a man and a woman.
In a 2-to-1 decision, the panel ruled in favor of Edith Windsor, an 83-year-old lesbian who argued that the law was discriminatory. Windsor’s suit — filed by the American Civil Liberties Union — stems from her relationship with longtime partner Thea Clara Spyer. The two were engaged in 1967 and married in Canada in 2007. When Spyer died in 2009, Windsor was unable to claim her estate, because the pair’s marriage wasn’t legally recognized in the United States. Instead, Windsor was forced to pay a $363,000 estate tax — a fee she wouldn’t have had to pay if her marriage had been recognized.
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Timothy Kurek grew up in a religiously conservative family, and was told that homosexuality was an abominable sin. He regularly counseled friends and families on how to approach homosexuality. “The loving thing to do is to tell my friend who is gay, ‘Hey, listen, you are an abomination and you need to repent to go to heaven.’ I absolutely believed in that lock, stock and barrel,” he said. And then four years ago, a close friend confided that she was a lesbian and that her family had disowned her because of it. Something in him broke.
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Last week, we told about about that alleged near-death-by-butt-chugging incident of a Pi Kappa Alpha brother at the University of Tennessee. Yesterday, Alexander P. Buttchugger, I mean Broughton, came forward to deny all charges that he took Franzia (or anything) up his ass and that the details of his story were fabricated. In a press conference led by his fraternity lawyer, Daniel “Foghorn Leghorn” McGhee (you can watch it above), Broughton denies even knowing what butt chugging is, so how could he have done it? But way, way, more importantly, they want you to know that Broughton is not GAY.
This is the most awful press conference I’ve ever seen for a number of reasons. I’ll get to my many gripes in a moment. But first, let me ask you this: If this were simply a near-death binge drinking incident, would this kid be holding a press conference? Keep reading »
I can’t change / even if I wanted to
Such is the chorus for “Same Love,” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, featuring Mary Lambert, a new song released this summer which was released in a short film today. I want to say the rap is pro-gay marriage or even pro-gay rights, but really both the song and the incredibly touching video are really just pro-human decency. Keep reading »
“I think that gay marriage is going to happen. It must. We are not actually equal — humanity — if we are not allowed to freely love one another. What the Pope thinks of being gay does not matter to the world. It matters to the people who like the Pope and follow the Pope. It is not a reflection of all religious people.”
– Lady Gaga on a French radio show spit some truth that the Vatican probably found hard to hear. But I like the way Gaga said this: she didn’t say the Pope is wrong, she just said his opinion doesn’t matter to people who don’t follow him. We can fight all we want about who’s right and who’s wrong about the “morality” of homosexuality and gay marriage, but you can’t really argue with the fact that the opinions of other people’s religious leaders don’t matter to most of us. That is precisely why when bigots try to explain to me that their anti-gay beliefs are just religious, I immediately invoke my all-loving, all-accepting deity, the Flying Spaghetti Monster. [Fox News]
Let me tell you a story about “bi invisibility.” A few years ago, at my first full-time job – which, I should clarify, was at an LGBT nonprofit organization – I was chatting with a gay male co-worker about a conversation he had with an acquaintance of ours. Apparently I had come up in their conversation, and he had referred to me as “straight.” As in “heterosexual.” I don’t know where the rest of the story was going, because I stopped my colleague right there.
“Actually,” I interjected, “I’m not straight.”
He seemed genuinely baffled. “You’re not?”
“Well … no. I can see why you thought I was, but I’m not. I’m bisexual.”
His eyes widened and he smiled. It was like a light bulb had gone off in his head and everything suddenly made sense. Meanwhile, I walked back to my cubicle, shocked that, at an LGBT organization, anyone would assume that anyone else was straight. It surprised me that, in a space where identity politics and queer issues were discussed regularly, being in a relationship with a man would automatically signify me as a hetero. I suddenly realized that my identity as a bi woman would always be invisible. I would always be invisible. That is, unless I found a way to combat that invisibility. Keep reading »
The actor Rupert Everett, who is gay, believes children should have a “mother and a father.”
My father, who is also gay, shared the same beliefs. So did my gay mother. So did my gay father-in-law. So, in fact, did the Christopher Plummer character in “Beginners.”
But can it be true that there’s “[nothing] worse than being brought up by two gay dads,” as Rupert said?
Ask my husband, whose father and stepfather fully participated in raising him. Ask my children, who have three of four openly gay grandparents. Keep reading »
“The way I would choose to identify myself wouldn’t be gay. I’ve been attracted mostly to ‘shes’ but I’ve been with many people and I’m open to love wherever it can be found. I think a lot of people are projecting their own troubles and fears concerning sexuality onto those around them, and it does result in the perpetuation of a lot of hateful notions. As long as I can remember, I’ve felt really horrified watching those dynamics play out. It really hurts and divides us all, and in the end, so much of the human experience is shared, so we only end up hating and fearing our own damn selves.”
– Every time I read an interview with “The Perks Of Being A Wallflower” star Ezra Miller, I think to myself, Thank God I didn’t meet you when I was 16 because I would be So. Far. Gone. [The Daily Beast]
“One of the defining conversations that I had with myself was that absolutely no good can come from me staying quiet about [my sexuality]. Literally, no good can come from it. But if I take the step to make the acknowledgment and be honest, so much good could potentially come from it. … It boggles my mind that there are so many extreme, Christian organizations that are adopting a stance against homosexuality with such vitriol and hatred and targeted aggression that goes against the tenets of the Christian faith. The hatred that people are leading with in this discussion is really, for me, the biggest symptom of how sick we are. It’s the thing that makes me look at our culture and think, ’We are so far afield of any sort of connectivity or truth in relationship to one another.’
– Zachary Quinto from “American Horror Story” (or the nerds amongst us, “Star Trek”) tells Out magazine about why he chose to come out of the closet last year in New York magazine and why he’s been campaigning for Obama 2012 on LGBT rights. The vitriol, hatred and aggression against lesbians and gays boggles my mind, too, Zach. Now forget about your boyfriend Jonathan Groff and come make out with meeeeeee. [Out]