In a piece published yesterday in the Huffington Post, DapperQ Managing Editor, Anita Dolce Vita, does a bang up job of explaining why, not only is telling a gay woman “she’s too pretty to be a lesbian” or “you shouldn’t have a hard time finding a boyfriend” or “you don’t look like a lesbian” NOT a compliment (as some men seem to believe), but an insulting form of homophobia. “Most people who spew such nonsense expect me to delight in their backhanded praise and are surprised when I inform them that telling someone that she is too pretty to be a lesbian is actually not a compliment,” she writes. “Believing that there is a point on some arbitrary scale at which a woman is too attractive to be gay is based on the assumption that heterosexual women are inherently better-looking, and that’s just plain homophobic.” Keep reading »
Charlie Sheen isn’t even on “Two and a Half Men” anymore, but his legacy continues— his legacy of womanizing, that is. I am referring to the newest “Two” character, played by Amber Tamblyn, Charlie Harper’s daughter who — wait for it — is also a womanizer.
Sure, it’s a sign of progress that an actress will play a lesbian on one of the country’s most mainstream of mainstream of shows. (Although I’m scratching my head as to why Tamblyn, who acts in abortion rights PSAs and edits the poetry section of BUST magazine, would join the cast.) But it’s just a little bit frustrating that as Charlie Harper’s kid, Tamblyn’s character Jenny is basically serving as a female stand-in for her womanizing father. There was a hole for a tomcat and they plugged it up with a lesbian character. Keep reading »
In private, my husband, Paul*, has started referring to his sexual orientation as “Results-Oriented.” As in, he doesn’t care what gender his sexual partners are if they can get the job done, so to speak. He’s being glib when he says that — no, he wouldn’t go to bed with just anyone — but there’s also some truth behind it. For a person who isn’t ready to socially, culturally, or politically identify as bisexual, Results-Oriented is his way of saying that he’s not quite as straight as most straight-identified men.
Paul started calling himself Results-Oriented around the time we had our first foursome with a straight-presenting, queer-identified couple. For the most part, we engaged in heterosexual and lesbian activities, but at one point, I let it slip that watching two men together has always been one of my top turn-ons. Our male partner looked up with excitement and climbed on top of Paul. Once he obtained consent, he gave Paul a long and thorough blowjob that finished in climax. I couldn’t decide whether to observe our partner’s clearly experienced technique or Paul’s facial expressions of utterly baffled pleasure. When it was over, all my husband could say was, “Wow … that wasn’t as different as I imagined it would be.” Keep reading »