There is one central question underlying every debate about homosexuality going on in our country today: Is being gay a choice or is it innate? Is there a gay gene? Was I born a lesbian? These are things I think about all the time, but have shielded away from addressing. Why? Because my take on it is not the norm. Most people who fight for gay rights cling to the it’s-not-a-choice argument. For them, people are gay from day numero uno, regardless of whether they embrace it at age 7 or 70. If you argue with someone who believes this, they’ll say, “Why would anyone choose to be gay?” It’s a compelling argument because gays and lesbians do not have equal rights and are looked at as second class citizens in many areas of the world, including, at times, right here in the United States.
But, somehow, I’m not convinced. Keep reading »
Last season, “90210” teased us with a lesbian love plot between Jessica Lowndes and Rumer Willis for, oh, two episodes before Lowndes’ character, Adrianna, went straight again. But now the show’s producers say they want to “address the issue in a real and relatable way.” Translation: one of the show’s main male characters will be coming out of the closet in the fall. Entertainment Weekly had a big discussion about whether it would be Liam (Matt Lanter), Navid (Michael Steger) or Teddy (Trevor Donovan). But aren’t they forgetting about Dixon (Tristan Wilds)? Or it could be one of the adults—perhaps Principal Wilson or teacher Ryan Matthews? Way, way too many shows have used a lesbian plot to boost ratings, but far fewer have gone for a male-on-male love affair. Honestly, “Dawson’s Creek” is one of the few I can think of. So what do you think—is this a bold move or a publicity stunt? And who do you think will end up being the gay one? Leave your guesses in the comments. [EW] Keep reading »
Before I was in a relationship, I crushed on my female friends with alarming frequency. In high school, I got turned on when I slept in the same bed with my best friend who I had known since I was 2 years old. Obviously, I never told her this and, since we don’t speak anymore, I’m going to take this one to my grave. (Um, unless, of course, she reads The Frisky!) Later, I tried like hell to hook up with another friend who claimed to be bi, but now says that she is straight. Oh yeah, and I’ve totally slept with my current bestie. Twice. Keep reading »
Last week, the House voted 229 to 186 to repeal the controversial “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” military policy, which essentially bans gays and lesbians from coming out while in the armed services. I appreciate this gesture from the House but, to be honest, I’m not really impressed. While this vote gives the illusion of doing something, the actual repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is still a long ways down the road and isn’t, by any means, a sure thing. Keep reading »
First it was gay and lesbian, then it was gay, lesbian and bisexual. Then someone threw transgender in the mix. Somewhere along the line, it became OK to refer to gays as queers and now, they’ve decided it’s LGBTQIA. That’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex and allies. The “gay community” today includes everyone who doesn’t fit into the conventionally straight category, making for a “community” that isn’t a community at all but rather a dumping ground of people deemed deviant by society. We don’t have much in common except for the fact that our sexuality isn’t the type that’s found in the all-American vision of two kids and a white picket fence.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about why the “gay community” doesn’t seem to be able to get anything accomplished. We seem to be spinning our wheels in the mud, not moving forward. Once in a while, we seem to sink a little deeper. We don’t have gay marriage; we have Proposition 8, domestic partnerships and civil unions. We don’t have acceptance; we have an overly-sexualized reputation filled with stereotypes that all gay men talk with a lisp and are great dressers while every lesbian drives a pickup truck and hates men. We aren’t met with open arms. We’re met with furtive glances, cat calls and the occasional rude comment, at best.
Keep reading »
Last weekend, my girlfriend and I went to a pub full of guys shooting pool and drinking beer. We were there to see her friend, Mike, a DJ. He’s got a weekly gig at this place and, as he doesn’t seem to get too many of them, it’s pretty important that he keep it. I thought we were being pretty well-behaved. I’m not really big on PDA in places like that because, frankly, I feel out of place anyway and I don’t want to draw attention to myself.
But as the night progressed my girlfriend and I started to get tipsy. We didn’t do anything over the top but I know for a fact that I reached for her a couple times, danced with her and probably even kissed her. This is pretty standard stuff for a heterosexual couple, but I noticed that we were being gawked and glared at. I leaned over and asked my girlfriend’s guy friend if he’d noticed. He gave a fervent nod. Uh-oh. Keep reading »
“I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.”
– Ricky Martin comes out of the closet in a message on his blog, confirming what, uh, everyone already knew, but hey — we’re proud of him anyway. Read the whole message here. [PopBytes] Keep reading »
As some of you know, nearly four years ago, when I still lived in Chicago, I was set up on a blind date while visiting friends in New York. Things went well; my date and I began a long-distance relationship, I moved to New York a year and a half later, and we were married last July. It’s now been almost two and a half years since I made the move from the Midwest to Manhattan for love, and while much of my life is better than it’s ever been, there’s still one void I have yet to fill: I don’t have any gay guy friends in town. I’ve made some girlfriends, my husband and I have plenty of couple friends, but when it comes to the really important things, like karaoke, watching awards shows, and getting an honest opinion on my hair, I find myself in dire need of a few good gays. Keep reading »
This month, Details totally lost me as a reader with an article called “The Lure of Dating an Ex-Lesbian.” The author, Ian Daly, talks about women who date women and then hitch up with men. He eloquently calls these gals “refugees from the isle of Lesbos … hasbians.” Interestingly, Daly’s research seems to prove the opposite of what his title implies. That is, that dating a “hasbian” is terrifying. He depicts dudes who date them as scared little school boys, afraid of their penises and scared that their clumsy fingers could never navigate the female anatomy as expertly as the women they’ve seen in lesbian pornos. Later, Daly obnoxiously writes that men who are in touch with their “feminine side” are more likely to date women who are “former homosexuals.”
I’ll save you the anguish of discussing Daly’s assertion that once motorcycle-riding, tattoo-covered lesbians “soften up,” they head straight for the penis. What I really want to talk about is Daly’s assumption that sexual orientation is super rigid. Keep reading »
On Monday, Mexico City’s legislature voted 39 to 20 in favor of legalizing same-sex marriage and adoption. So happy holidays, everyone, there’s now another place gay couples can go to tie the knot. [CNN]
Honestly, the whole debate over this in the U.S. is almost funny to me. New York and California say no—but Iowa says it’s cool?! Our country is really behind the times on this one. Surprise! We aren’t a big, happy mecca of progress and equality after all. After the jump, a few places around the world where same-sex couples can say “I do” legally. And some of them pretty surprising. Keep reading »