As some of you know, nearly four years ago, when I still lived in Chicago, I was set up on a blind date while visiting friends in New York. Things went well; my date and I began a long-distance relationship, I moved to New York a year and a half later, and we were married last July. It’s now been almost two and a half years since I made the move from the Midwest to Manhattan for love, and while much of my life is better than it’s ever been, there’s still one void I have yet to fill: I don’t have any gay guy friends in town. I’ve made some girlfriends, my husband and I have plenty of couple friends, but when it comes to the really important things, like karaoke, watching awards shows, and getting an honest opinion on my hair, I find myself in dire need of a few good gays.

This month, Details totally lost me as a reader with an article called “The Lure of Dating an Ex-Lesbian.” The author, Ian Daly, talks about women who date women and then hitch up with men. He eloquently calls these gals “refugees from the isle of Lesbos ... hasbians.” Interestingly, Daly’s research seems to prove the opposite of what his title implies. That is, that dating a “hasbian” is terrifying. He depicts dudes who date them as scared little school boys, afraid of their penises and scared that their clumsy fingers could never navigate the female anatomy as expertly as the women they’ve seen in lesbian pornos. Later, Daly obnoxiously writes that men who are in touch with their “feminine side” are more likely to date women who are “former homosexuals.”

I’ll save you the anguish of discussing Daly’s assertion that once motorcycle-riding, tattoo-covered lesbians “soften up,” they head straight for the penis. What I really want to talk about is Daly’s assumption that sexual orientation is super rigid.

On Monday, Mexico City’s legislature voted 39 to 20 in favor of legalizing same-sex marriage and adoption. So happy holidays, everyone, there’s now another place gay couples can go to tie the knot. [CNN]

Honestly, the whole debate over this in the U.S. is almost funny to me. New York and California say no—but Iowa says it’s cool?! Our country is really behind the times on this one. Surprise! We aren’t a big, happy mecca of progress and equality after all. After the jump, a few places around the world where same-sex couples can say “I do” legally. And some of them pretty surprising. 

No one will dispute the importance of good girlfriends – they support your delusional hopes of one day being Mrs. Sam Kass, listen to you vent about your idiot boss and evil ex, and assure you that you haven’t gained an ounce despite that steady diet of french fries you’ve been adhering to, as a coping mechanism for the aforementioned idiot boss and evil ex. But it goes without saying that no modern woman’s circle of friends is complete without at least one gay bestie. The unique bond between a straight woman and a gay man is a many splendored thing, one that’s inspired sonnets (not really), TV shows, books, and the true barometer of mainstream credibility, a possible incarnation as a Bravo reality show. A new study conducted by Nancy H. Bartlett of Mount Saint Vincent University in Canada (and covered in the December issue of Allure magazine) suggests that having a large contingent of gay male friends may actually be good for you.

With this in mind, we asked women we knew if they felt that gay men made better best friends than girls. Two women share their opposing views, after the jump ...

Well, this is novel. A fine wine purveyor is targeting gay men with a line of special wines. Spanish UO! Wines has three vino options: Antinoo, Oscura Lágrima, and Ánima Blanca. Antinoo is a red: “young and mature, fruity, elegant, smooth…Mediterranean.” Oscura Lágrima, another red, is described thusly: “They say that the best sex is tumultuous like a storm cloud, and we’re inclined to agree.” Ánima Blanca is a white: “It’s fresh on the palate, potent…like a low whisper floating at you from behind your neck at just the right time.” Steamy! Nothing sells wine like sex, one imagines. Every bottle label features a hot, ripped dude in various stages of bondage/undress. Kinky! But where’s the line of wines for the lesbian ladies, UO!? [Notcot]

If you’re a woman in your mid-thirties, the dating scene is challenging enough. You’re conscious of feeling older, wrinkles become a reality, and you feel like your stock value as a potential wife has started to head south faster than the housing market. So in the past year, I decided it was high time I met a fabulous man.

Same-sex marriage bans just got stupider: two New Yorkers just got their marriage license revoked after city officials say they were snookered into believing the bride was actually a groom.

The would-be bride, Hakim Nelson, 18, identifies as a woman and hopes to undergo gender reassignment surgery. When Nelson married 21-year-old Jason Stenson on May 26, she not only wore an orange dress, white leggings and a $10 wedding ring, but also carried a state ID card that said “female” on it. (The official who issued the state ID assumed Nelson was a female.)

If you know anything about Kanye, you know he loves his Balenciaga sandals and neon. Some people think he looks moronic. Some people think he looks awesome. Apparently, some people think he looks “gay.”

Blogger Elizabeth Gates at the Daily Beast noticed how homophobic and racially motivated some commenters’ replies were about recent paparazzi snaps of Kanye and his entourage at Fashion Week. “Only gay guys wear that [crap!]” one wrote. “Bootylishious,” wrote another. But this isn’t anything new. Two years ago, 50 Cent made waves when he complained that Kanye got invited on “Oprah,” not him, which he said proved Middle America would be OK with their kids being gay.

When you’re really attracted to a man, it can be hard to tell if he’s attracted to you—especially if he doesn’t know if he’s gay.  Even a sexpert like myself has been blindsided by a boyfriend’s (or two) sexuality. But just like cheaters, there are some tell-tale signs if he’s homosexual. So, look out for the red flags that show he should be waving a rainbow one.

Sometimes you know a friend of yours is gay, but it’s hard to put into words.  While Ryan from the “Real World: Brooklyn” tried to help Chet come out by strumming him a song, that awkwardly hilarious ditty didn’t work because Mormon Chet thinks being a metrosexual isn’t a “sin.” Sigh. Luckily, YouTube sensation Nuglah has stated the obvi in an even better techno track! It’s definitely a hot beat to dance out of the closet to. [World of Wonder]

With the passing of Proposition 8, 2008 has left a bad taste in a lot of our mouths.  But it would be sad to let a year full of PR triumphs for one of the hardest working and most outspoken communities slip by without acknowledging all the honors and milestones that have been achieved! So, forget the h8terade, from the death of “don’t ask, don’t tell” to the first openly gay prime time news anchor, there were a lot of wins to be proud of—just take a look at the long list of Great Gay Headlines In 2008!

Anal sex is on the rise amongst teenagers. Not so coincidentally, so are STDs, specifically HIV/AIDS, among 13-29 year-olds. According to ABC News, teens just don’t find sex and its kinks as taboo as previous generations—which we suppose is sort of good news. It’s important for teenagers to have a healthy relationship with their sexuality and to not feel shame about their urges. But the bad news is, with a lack of sexual education, they’re being stupid about how they do it.  Since teens aren’t worried about pregnancy when they’re going through the back door, they often don’t use condoms. There are life-changing risks involved, especially with anal sex, where the walls of the rectum tear easily—just ask our own Dr. V. So, as we tackle sexual taboos as a society, we have to be responsible enough to teach the next generation what we know. 

The passing of Prop 8, the California bill banning gay marriage, has been causing marches, rallies, debates, and now it’s even spawned a musical! With an all-star line up including John C. Reilly, Neil Patrick Harris, Kathy Najimy, Rashida Jones, Maya Rudolph, Margaret Cho, Andy Richter, and Jack Black as Jesus, here’s hoping jazz hands can stop the hate. Even if you aren’t famous and you can’t sing and dance, your voice still needs to be heard, so if you want to do your part, Join The Impact. [Funny Or Die]

Last night, I got to sneak a peak of the movie “Milk”, which opens in theaters on November 26th, and James Franco naked, swimming in a pool. I’m not sure which one was more life changing, the booty or the biopic,  but they were both even better than I had dreamed. “Milk,” about the life and times of Harvey Milk, the first gay man elected to public office back in the 1970s, seems unbelievably relevant today with the passing of Prop 8 earlier this month. While the film was shot long before the recent rallies, eerily enough, Milk was largely responsible for stopping California’s Prop 6, which would have made it legal to fire any employee and deny them housing simply because they were gay. The interwoven documentary footage from Milk’s protests look almost identical to that of this past weekend’s Join The Impact nationwide march—same cause, different decade. 

Tyra is a diva who likes to pull stunts like a bra burning.  But nothing is as inflammatory as sexuality.  So, now the talk show host is demanding some guests who want to stop being gay.  Say what?! Maybe she’s planning on showing a leopard can’t change it spots by ruining an exotic fur couture coat? Or perhaps she’ll fix ‘em up with her “America’s Next Top Model” gays Mr. and Mrs. Jay? But if there’s anyone crazier than her, it’s a homosexual trying to straighten up. [Feministing]

Now that Clay is out, he needs some love!  But who is the David Burtka to match his Neil Patrick Harris?  We ladies at The Frisky, like his surrogate Jewish grandmothers, want to fix him up!  Here are the studs we think would fire up Clay:

Lance Bass: Former member of boy band N’Sync, Lance Bass just hasn’t been the same since his break up with the man who helped him come out of the closet—Reichen Lehmkuhl.  While Reichen has already moved on, Lance has been a mess!  He’s unsuccessfully dating dudes like his married personal trainer (yikes!) and a bad tipping bartender! So he clearly, Sir Lancelot needs someone who will fight for his honor and share his love of highlights. Clay could be his bottled-blonde Prince Charming.

There’s only one thing I love more than reality television—my gay BFF!  We go together like a penis and vagina, except that we don’t have sex, obvi. Now even Bravo wants to get in on our sweet action. Rumor has it, the network that brings you Kathy Griffin and Project Runway has a new reality TV show in the works. According to gossip king Michael Musto, it will be about couples comprised of gays and the girls they love.  Although the premiere date has not been announced, I’m already making space on my DVR!  I hope this show really helps break down discrimination—and I don’t mean just against homos. The ladies who love the gays often get called hags. As if! Listen, I might not be Angelina Jolie, but I’m sick of being called a paper bagger just because I hang out with guys who aren’t interested in packing my box! And let’s face it, that name is a misnomer in most cases—Margaret Cho, Madonna, Chelsea Handler, Katherine Heigl (pictured at left with her GBFF), and even Clay Aiken’s baby mama are totally slammin’! Speaking of which, I hope Clay and his special lady/womb at least have a guest spot. Still, I wonder what the show will even be like…an “Amazing Race”-style adventure, a style show like “Top Design”, a buddy comedy like “Beauty and the Geek”?  Supposedly, the concept comes from a book that contains a collection of essays called “Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys”. Well, whenever and whatever it is, I’ll be watching!

Grace Kelly’s son, the playboy Prince Albert of Monaco, is finally engaged! While the significance of him producing an heir is important to Europe, we here at The Frisky are interested in talking about the other historically significant Prince Albert—the penis piercing. All the meaty details, after the jump…

For more than a decade, my best friend has been a gay guy. I don’t really even like qualifying him as a “gay guy,” since his gayness is such a non-issue in our relationship and in my perception of him. Part of that may be the type of gay he is, or more accurately, the type of gay he isn’t. He never knows, for example, when it’s Pride weekend, and he doesn’t own anything rainbow, and he doesn’t even like Madonna. He does, however, love “Project Runway” as much as I do and his home is so beautifully designed, it would give Martha Stewart an inferiority complex. Sometimes after we’ve had a few bottles of wine — as we’re known to do — and we’re good and lubricated, he’ll slide in a comment about the possibility of us making a kid together. Usually, it’ll be a remark about what great hair it would have or how it would surely inherit the same square Flintstone feet we both share. I’ll chuckle and reply with some quip about it also inheriting the same flightiness we both have, too, and then I’ll change the subject.

Network TV has got almost as many gay characters as Marc Jacobs’ Rolodex. Just last year, there were only seven homosexuals and bisexuals on the boob tube, but this year that number has more than doubled to 16. GLAAD is certainly happy to announce the awesome news and even single out an old foe.  The sharp increase is thanks, in part, to Fox, who not only finally put one gay character on a series, they put a whopping FIVE! Still, all this good news comes with a new glass ceiling.  While gay men seem to be making head way (no pun intended), there are no lesbian characters on the major networks—just bisexual women. One small step for man, but when is there going to be a jump for womankind? Sigh…will someone please cast Portia Di Rossi to play gay already?! [USA Today via Fark]