“V-Day.” Sounds more like an invasion of Normandy than a day spent celebrating love and romance. And rightfully so. Sometimes the intricacies of preparing for the holiday resemble war-room strategy more than jubilation. Sure, you’re armed with flowers and chocolates instead of a rifle and grenades, but there is a common dread, with the tips of those big red hearts hanging like so many swords of Damocles.

I forgot my best friend’s birthday two years in a row once. I felt absolutely awful about it and resolved never to overlook it again. So far I’ve been good about remembering her birthday, but I forgot to bring a card to another friend’s wedding. It’s hard to stay on top of all the sentiments we have to send our friends and family, but it’s all about being prepared. Pick up one of these gift card sets, and you’ll be as ready for anything as MacGyver. Above: Emergency Box of Cards, $12 for eight cards, BobsYourUncle.com

Holiday time for men means one thing: sports, sports, and more sports. Christmas Day alone has five basketball games on. This weekend is the last regular season game for football and playoff spots are on the line. And hockey season started not too long ago. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you need to keep reading. Whether you are forced to watch games at your man’s house or you want to hit up the bar to drink away the Scrooge inside of you, knowing a little bit about sports will impress the jingle bells off a guy. Yes, we know there are plenty of women out there who are sports obsessed. But there are also plenty of women who aren’t—and we don’t want you to suffer. After the jump are some basic things you need to know about sports to get you by during this holiday season.

This holiday commercial cracks me up. Further proof that even though your kids will have no idea what’s really going on, parents should still hide their sexy Santa costumes and S&M gear where they can’t be found by kids snooping for Christmas presents.

Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings. So it’s your civic duty to get someone to ring your bell on Christmas! Hooking up on the holiday is one part finesse, one part alcohol, and one part restraining yourself from stuffing your face. But it is possible to make babies on Jesus’ B-Day, no matter your religion. Here’s how you can be naughty on Christmas Eve and Day…

Trojan condoms report their highest sales of the year take place in the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Researchers attribute this spike to holiday downtime, New Year’s resolutions to get knocked up, and booze-fueled Yuletide revelry. It seems counterintuitive, and almost profane, that a holiday most associated with innocence and children would also be a holiday of steamy boot knocking. But I suspect it has something to do with my favorite Christmas movie. And my favorite Christmas movie isn’t even a Christmas movie.

It’s Christmas Eve. Dinner is ready, the house is decorated, and the lights are aglow with holiday magic. You are about to relax in the recliner with some eggnog and watch “A Christmas Story” when you get a call from your brother. He has decided to bring his new girlfriend and he forgot to get her a present—would you mind? Or maybe you are heading out to a party and realize you forgot to get the host a gift. Maybe things have been so crazy, you forgot you have three nephews, not two. Whatever the reason, you need a gift, you need it now, and all that’s open is Walgreen’s, Bob’s Liquor, and Safeway. Take a deep breath, down the eggnog, and grab your keys. You’ve heard of last-minute gifts? Here are some last last-minute gifts that don’t seem so, well, last minute.

When a commitment-phobe I had been dating for two months excitedly told me he had a present for me—“you’ll love it,” he assured me—I prepared myself for a thoughtful, romantic gesture of his relationship readiness. But when I walked into his bedroom, he instead pointed at a Starbucks iced coffee on his desk that I had left there after our third date. He thought he was being cute, but our relationship curdled shortly after. Whether intentional or not, your man’s gifts send a message. So what did his holiday gift say this year? Find out after the jump…



A lot of people look forward to foods that are traditionally served during the holidays. I am not one of those people. Why couldn’t the pilgrims have eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on Thanksgiving? Who decided that couscous wasn’t festive enough for the Christmas meal? If you enjoy eating “holiday foods” at this time of year, enjoy, but I think it looks gross. Keep reading to see what I mean…

You’ve decided to spend the holiday at your boyfriend’s family’s house this year. But the big question remains, where do you rest your pretty little head at night? Do you share a bed with your man or do you retreat to a lumpy couch and spend your nights in solitude?

Here are some possible scenarios that may play out when you get to his parents crib.

Hi, I’m Dr. V.  I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily led me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. Now, let’s get this party started!

Back in the day, the Winter Solstice, which falls on December 21st, was a sexy time for all! In Ancient Greece, it was known as “The Festival of the Wild Women.” The Romans danced around with phalluses, cross dressed, and slaves showed their master who was boss—hot!  Now Winter Solstice celebrations are all tied up with religion and gift giving, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have a little extra dirty fun—especially since it’s is the longest night of the year. So, here are my pervy suggestions for putting the happy in your holiday season…

Several years ago, when I was in middle school, an uncle of mine tried to make conversation by asking whether I had a boyfriend. Of course, I got upset and didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night. What right did an uncle I rarely spoke to have asking about my personal life? Now, I realize that I should have come prepared, because family gatherings bring out all kinds of awkward questions. Find out how to respond to them after the jump…

“Target: Women” host Sarah Haskins hits it out of the park in her assassination of gift giving jewelry for holidays and the commercials marketing the trend. From “jewelry face” and creepy voice overs to the “special memories” associated with shiny baubles and what jewelry says about a relationship, Haskins knocks it out of the park. It will almost make you NOT want to get jewelry as gift. Almost.

A breakup almost always sucks, but this time of year it can be especially painful. The good news is the holidays can also serve as a wonderful distraction from your heartache—and you don’t have to worry about shelling out money for a gift (or acting delighted when he gives you socks again). Luckily, not only are there plenty of reasons to love being single at this time of year, there are lots of ways to ease your loneliness, process your feelings, and improve your mood, too.

We’ve all come up with little creative ways to cut back on spending and raise money for those holiday gifts, from taking on a second job to selling clothes on eBay. But a 14-year old Austin girl had a much better way to raise some holiday cash. She decided to pimp out her brothers.

Kristin Walters has muscular dystrophy, which prevents her from doing work most kids can do to earn money. So she turned to her older, and handsome, twin brothers for help. Kristen is auctioning off a date with her bros on Craigslist to have spending money to buy gifts for her family. According to the post, the date includes dinner at a fine restaurant, drinks and transportation in the local Austin area.

After almost six years, a wedding, and a house, there aren’t a whole lot of “firsts” left for my husband and me. In a few weeks, we’re adopting our first pet. When we have some spare money, I hope someday we can take our first trip to Europe. Maybe one day we’ll have our first child. But in the meantime, one of those rare “firsts” is coming up, and it’s our first Christmas as a married couple. It also happens to be the first Christmas I’ll spend away from home.

Sure, it’s the season of twinkling lights, favorite classics on TV, batches of cookies, and pitchers full of eggnog, but it’s also the season of those dreaded soirees with people you’d like to never spend another evening with, wine-soaked or otherwise. Whether it’s an office party you’d love to get out of, an ex who insists on remaining “friends,” or a former neighbor’s yuletide bash, the Holiday Party Excuse Generator can compose the perfect note to send to the host, so you don’t have to endure another evening making small talk with satin-draped people who make your skin crawl. Check out this awesome note the generator composed for me, and give it a whirl yourself! Unless, of course, you’re one of those rare people who’s never met an invite you can’t turn down. [Holiday.enlighten.com]

Being single around the holidays can get you extra seasonally depressed.  Everywhere I go, I see couples choosing knick-knacks together, making out in front of store windows, and drunkenly leaving parties early so they can go off and do it. Barf! Just kidding, it’s totally cute. I’ve been there and I’ve had a great time getting showered with expensive gifts from boyfriends! But something tells me I’m going to like being footloose and fancy-free this winter. After all, there are plenty of reasons to be happy that I didn’t stick with someone who wasn’t right for me just so I could cash in on a present….well, besides the fact that I’d have to shell out a gift for him too. After the jump, what I’ve discovered about the grass being greener on the single side of the season…