Ordinarily, I’m all for mid-winter festivals that light up the darkest time of the year with cheerful lights and gift-giving. But this year — especially with all the pepper-spray-infused holiday shopping frenzies – even Rudolph might be feeling a little Scrooge-y.
After all, if there are people willing to buy and hang Jersey Shore ornaments … well, the true meaning of Christmas must be lost indeed.
It doesn’t get much uglier than a Snooki ornament … at least, that’s what I thought until I found these worst-ever ornaments. Hey, look on the bright side: At least, they’ll provide a refreshing break from all the hyperactive, wild-eyed cheer of the season. Read more…
One of the worst things I’ve ever had someone say to me is, “You look … festive.” Around the holidays, it can be hard to determine where to draw the line between kitschy holiday accessories and what’s, well, more suited as a wreath than a bracelet. I’ve rounded up some jewelry for the holiday season that manages to be chic while still injecting a bit of holiday spirit.
Confession: I’m a little bit obsessed with blogs written by American girls living in Paris. Their style, their food, their apartments, their men … ooh la la! My favorite is Making Magique, but I also like Badaude, the group blog HipParis and Dead Fleurette (who lives in Oslo, but is a Francophile). Maybe I’m deeply jealous of my friend Leonora Epstein, who wrote The Frisky’s 365 Days In Paris series. Or maybe I’m just envious of a world where the lighting always looks just-so. Or maybe I just want to wear red lipstick and polka dots without apology.
Either way, I’m going through a serious Francophile phase myself and hoping my holidays are filled with macarons and Chanel perfume. Shopping for a wannabe Parisian this holiday season? Allons-y! Keep reading »
It wouldn’t be Christmas without a bunch of holiday-themed sex toys to get you in the spirit. Well, actually it would. But some people will use any excuse they can to customize sex products. Christmas is no exception. We couldn’t resist rounding up a bunch of the naughtiest stuff out there for you to put under your S.O.’s tree. Or maybe in your S.O.’s tree. Or on it in the case of this XMas Tuggie. Yes, it’s a Snuggie for his c**k! So he can keep his hands free and his nuts toasty while watching “A Christmas Story.” Brilliant! Keep on clicking to see more WTF sex toys for the holidays.
With the end of the Thanksgiving weekend, we enter that long, grim death march known as the holiday season. It’s a time marked by cold weather, wet feet and societal pressure to buy thoughtful gifts for your family or, depending on your circumstances, the group of circus oddities who have become like a family to you.
We here at Cracked want to help, or more accurately, to pretend to help while we make cheap jokes at your expense. To do this, we’ve enlisted the aid of thousands of spies to track our readership and identify the most problematic people they’ll have to shop for this holiday season. Then, using the personal shopping abilities granted to us by a powerful alien ring, we compiled the following Gift Guide. Read more…
We all know someone who is perpetually under the weather during the winter months. (Hell, that “someone” may be you!) And the reason why we all know someone who fits this description is that people who aren’t feeling well never shut up about not feeling well. Prove to that person that you’ve been listening to their talking and hacking and sniffling by gifting them with something that you shows you care about their sinuses or glands or IBS or whatever. Here are 10 gifts for the perpetually sick person in your life!
Is it possible for something to feel futuristic yet anti-feminist at the same time? Check out the Wired Store’s new holiday wish list online and you be the judge. At the Wired Store pop-up shop in Times Square, a fantastically futuristic display wasn’t just a feast for the eyes and senses, but a feast for feminists who take issue with gender-assigned gifts. Up front and center, marketed as gifts for the women in your life, were cutting-edge vacuums! State-of the art toilets! Save for the digital touch, you’d think the female-driven gifts were dusted right off the shelves of the 1950′s. Keep reading »
It’s almost that time of year again: you know, the time when you’re obligated to blow a good chunk of your hard-earned money on your family and friends. If your inner circle is anything like mine, they sure as hell expect something nice. Oven mitts just aren’t going to fly for my mom anymore, and my dad balks in the face of an Office Max fountain pen. I’m not going to lie, buying and giving gifts is hard, mostly because you can’t guarantee that someone will like something unless they’ve explicitly said what they’d want… and where’s the fun in that? For my people, my foolproof gift-buying agenda is to delve into Sephora and not emerge until a) my debit card cracks in half or b) I’ve got something for everyone (whichever comes first). Seriously, male or female, there’s not a single person I know who will deny a body butter in their favorite scent or a luxurious herbal bubble bath. My holiday gift guide stays true to that and regardless of age, gender, or skin type, everybody will be smelling good and feeling even better.
Is it that time of year again already? It feels like just yesterday we were compiling our holiday wishlists from the greatest of all gift catalogs, the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book. This year’s edition is out and it’s chock full of gifts that will have you arranging your grandma’s death to get your inheritance early. (Seriously, don’t do that.) The thing about the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book is that I … don’t want anything on it. Seriously. Love you, Grandma! Nevertheless, here are the most outrageous — and outrageously priced — gifts on the list this year that you might like. [Fashionista]
You’ve probably made your shopping list and checked it three or four times by now this holiday season. Some of the people on there are no-brainers; you know you have to buy your mom a gift. But after you put the obvious folks on there and move further down the list, you always get the point where you can’t help but think, “Do I really have to buy them something?” Even if you grudgingly accept that yes, you really need to leave that person on your “nice” list, there are ways to show them holiday love without blowing your budget. Gifting expert and New York Times best-selling author Robyn Spizman, who has partnered with Office Depot to serve as a Smart Gifting Expert, offered these tips for tackling those obligatory gifts your list with your holiday spirit – and budget – intact. Keep reading »