Posts tagged "hitched"

Hitched: Dudes, Help Decorate That Tree!

My uncle Tommy’s hot sauce is the recipe by which I measure all hot sauces; it is the recipe I try to recreate to varying degrees of success every time…

Andrea Grimes | December 5, 2012 - 1:00 pm

Hitched: Don’t Have Sex On Your Wedding Night

I remember climbing into Patrick’s pick-up truck in a fog of glittering sparklers. I remember noting that there was a giant penis shoe-polished on to the passenger side window. I…

Andrea Grimes | November 28, 2012 - 1:00 pm

Hitched: Do What You Want On Your Wedding Day

I consumed almost no wedding-related media in the eight or so months between when Patrick and I got drunk at the lake and decided to get engaged and when we…

Andrea Grimes | November 21, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: On Mothers-In-Law (And Mother-In-Law Jokes)

I have known since I was a wee child that someday, there would be a woman in my life that I would hate more than any person on the planet.

Andrea Grimes | November 14, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: Do We Have A Marriage Problem?

I’m not convinced that the problem with marriage is that it is broken; I am convinced that a problem with marriage is that it isn’t big enough for everyone.

Andrea Grimes | November 8, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: How I Became A Homemaker

Flipping through my mom’s old yearbooks as a kid, I was taken by the bouffant hairdos and the small-town charm of her tiny East Texas high school; I was also…

Andrea Grimes | October 31, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: Reflections On The First Six Months Of Marriage

On Sunday, Patrick and I celebrated our six-month wedding anniversary by watching nearly seven hours of what Netflix claims are “Halloween favorites” and eating a delicious homemade caprese salad, as…

Andrea Grimes | October 24, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: Our Officiant Got Ordained Online

The few times I ever imagined my future wedding as I grew up in suburban north Texas, I imagined it taking place in the church I was raised in, the…

Andrea Grimes | October 17, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: Bridesmaids, What Are They Good For?

Minutes before I walked down the aisle, one of my persons-of-distinction, Trenton, pulled a bunch of multi-colored plastic Tiki goblets from a sack, busted open a bottle of cheap champagne…

Andrea Grimes | October 10, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: Reliving The Bachelorette Life

I made sure to get the thin crust pizza, because I knew that once it was just me and a couch and Liam Neeson rescuing some people from some horrible…

Andrea Grimes | October 3, 2012 - 2:00 pm

Hitched: Why My Husband Is Getting A Vasectomy

I’ve been walking around with a sketch of a uterus and cervix in my reporter’s notebook for several weeks now, courtesy of my gynecologist. She drew it while explaining to…

Andrea Grimes | September 26, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: You’re Engaged! Now What?

Last Friday night, Patrick and I took a break from drinking beers and talking smack about Mitt Romney to befriend two couples who happened by our neighborhood bar. They needed…

Andrea Grimes | September 19, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: Getting Through The Rough Patches

I woke up last Sunday morning — well, I don’t know that I was truly awake, but at least I wasn’t in bed any more — and stumbled to the…

Andrea Grimes | September 11, 2012 - 1:00 pm

Hitched: Who Does The Most Housework In A Marriage?

And lo, the Lord did create the men and women who populated the earth. The manifold men did go to the office and get good jobs in middle management and…

Andrea Grimes | September 5, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: Shit White, Middle-Class Married People Do

Now that the summer wedding season is winding down, it’s time to shift the focus from the Big Day to the Big Rest Of Your Damned Lives. I’ve only been…

Andrea Grimes | August 29, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: We’re Married, But Our Bank Accounts Aren’t

One of the things I’ve learned, over my many years of roadtripping in and across Texas, is that hell is being stuck going 50 miles per hour behind a recreational…

Andrea Grimes | August 21, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: Jennifer Aniston Will Not Die Pathetic And Alone After All

The world’s saddest person has finally crawled out from under the sad bajillions of dollars she’s made over the years, clawed her way through the sad memories of the last…

Andrea Grimes | August 15, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: Let Them Eat Gay Cake!

Last week, an interracial couple showed up for their wedding cake tasting at a small, family owned bakery in Colorado. But when the shop owner caught sight of the together-for-two-years…

Andrea Grimes | August 8, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: On Love, Politics & Bigotry

The Democratic Party is set to officially incorporate a pro-gay marriage stance into its 2012 convention platform after a 15-member draft committee approved the new pro-marriage equality language over the…

Andrea Grimes | August 1, 2012 - 12:00 pm

Hitched: Should Cheaters ‘Fess Up Or Take It To The Grave?

You know how the worst kind of parent will be all, “Oh, you couldn’t possibly understand what it means to truly love another human being until you have a child…

Andrea Grimes | July 26, 2012 - 12:00 pm