Posts tagged "hitched"

Hitched: Beyoncé And The Luxury Of Playing “Mrs. Carter”

Like everyone else in the country with excellent taste and a belly full of adult beverages, I very much enjoyed Beyoncé's half-time performance at the Super Bowl on Sunday. I loved her all-woman band, particularly Bibi McGill’s spark-shooting axe. I loved the Destiny’s Child reunion. I loved that my Beyoncé half-time BINGO card included…
By: Andrea Grimes / February 6, 2013

Hitched: Everybody Panic, Single Women Are Planning Weddings!

The New York Times, ever concerned about the plight of the three people it takes to make a Style Section trend story, has identified a disturbing new tendency among women to … plan their weddings. But wait for it: they’re not just planning their weddings, they're doing it on the Internet and…
By: Andrea Grimes / January 30, 2013

Hitched: Braggy Ring Photos Are Braggy

It happened in slow motion; I couldn’t stop myself. It was like I watched from outside my body — NOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGHHH — as I reached into the seat pocket, pulled out my phone, and took an artsy photo of — STTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPP — my newly paired engagement ring and wedding band. "It’s a six-hour flight to Hawaii,"…
By: Andrea Grimes / January 23, 2013

Hitched: It’s Okay To Break Off Your Engagement

So, Britney Spears is no longer engaged to that dude she was engaged to, and obviously the only logical response is the one People chose, which is to lament the end of Britney’s “fairy tale.” Because all weddings are fairy tales, and literally any man a woman can be engaged to ha…
By: Andrea Grimes / January 16, 2013

Hitched: Does Being A Wife Mean Being A Proper Lady?

“Are you going to grow your hair out for the wedding?” Obviously my stylist needed to know, because she was standing there with scissors. But family members? Dress shop employees? After the hundredth time telling people “No,” it got a little tiresome. The question, in and of itself, isn’t offensive or stupid. It’s probably just…
By: Andrea Grimes / January 9, 2013

Hitched: Don’t Expect Marriage To Change Everything

Because the world is a mysterious place, they have given that dude who wrote Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus an advice column. Who are “they”? I don’t know. People who are reassured by “logic” that basically boils down to “Men be watchin’ football, bitches be shoppin’,” I guess. And because I only…
By: Andrea Grimes / January 2, 2013

Hitched: What I Miss About Being Single — And What I Don’t

People just love to get engaged at Christmastime. I imagine this is a result of a combination of factors, from feeling more family-oriented than usual (although the holidays have the opposite effect on many of us) to the celebratory atmosphere at large and increased presence of shiny objects generally. I spent Christmas Eve "liking" a…
By: Andrea Grimes / December 26, 2012

Hitched: What You Shouldn’t Assume About People Planning Weddings

Deciding to get married — or to get engaged, or to generally not ever split up with your partner and make this preference publicly known — is an exciting and big life decision. It’s also, like a lot of life decisions (see also: parenting, graduate school, switching to hard liquor), one that your friends, family…
By: Andrea Grimes / December 19, 2012

Hitched: On Prenups

When I first read what folks are calling Amelia Earhart’s “prenup,” I was sure it was too good to be true: here is, in 1931 or thereabouts, a woman telling her fiancé in no uncertain terms that she doesn’t necessarily intend to be faithful to him, that her career comes first and that she…
By: Andrea Grimes / December 12, 2012

Hitched: Dudes, Help Decorate That Tree!

My uncle Tommy’s hot sauce is the recipe by which I measure all hot sauces; it is the recipe I try to recreate to varying degrees of success every time I come home from the store with cilantro, peppers, lime, onion, garlic and tomatoes. But Tommy just knew, in some magical old-Texas-guy way, the way…
By: Andrea Grimes / December 5, 2012

Hitched: Don’t Have Sex On Your Wedding Night

I remember climbing into Patrick’s pick-up truck in a fog of glittering sparklers. I remember noting that there was a giant penis shoe-polished on to the passenger side window. I remember taking an Instagram of us driving the few blocks back to our hotel. I remember being very excited about getting my shoes off. And…
By: Andrea Grimes / November 28, 2012

Hitched: Do What You Want On Your Wedding Day

I consumed almost no wedding-related media in the eight or so months between when Patrick and I got drunk at the lake and decided to get engaged and when we actually tied the knot on April 21, 2012. I came to like Offbeat Bride and its attendant forums and creative user group, though…
By: Andrea Grimes / November 21, 2012

Hitched: On Mothers-In-Law (And Mother-In-Law Jokes)

I have known since I was a wee child that someday, there would be a woman in my life that I would hate more than any person on the planet. She will be the epitome of all things evil; a seething skin-bag of meddlesome, ignorant lady-pus, hardly worthy to walk among us and yet, walk…
By: Andrea Grimes / November 14, 2012

Hitched: Do We Have A Marriage Problem?

I’m not convinced that the problem with marriage is that it is broken; I am convinced that a problem with marriage is that it isn’t big enough for everyone. In the past week, both The New York Times and Slate have addressed modern marriage and its related problems, asking whether privatization of…
By: Andrea Grimes / November 8, 2012

Hitched: How I Became A Homemaker

Flipping through my mom’s old yearbooks as a kid, I was taken by the bouffant hairdos and the small-town charm of her tiny East Texas high school; I was also amazed that there appeared to be basically two clubs in the whole place. Guys got funneled into the Future Farmers of America. The young women?
By: Andrea Grimes / October 31, 2012

Hitched: Reflections On The First Six Months Of Marriage

On Sunday, Patrick and I celebrated our six-month wedding anniversary by watching nearly seven hours of what Netflix claims are "Halloween favorites" and eating a delicious homemade caprese salad, as Patrick decided that six months is the “caprese anniversary.” No doubt he has some culinary deliciousness planned in six more months. How has my life…
By: Andrea Grimes / October 24, 2012

Hitched: Our Officiant Got Ordained Online

The few times I ever imagined my future wedding as I grew up in suburban north Texas, I imagined it taking place in the church I was raised in, the altar strewn with pretty flowers and the minister who baptized as a child me officiating. This vague idea of what my wedding might be like…
By: Andrea Grimes / October 17, 2012

Hitched: Bridesmaids, What Are They Good For?

Minutes before I walked down the aisle, one of my persons-of-distinction, Trenton, pulled a bunch of multi-colored plastic Tiki goblets from a sack, busted open a bottle of cheap champagne from a cooler, and measured out five healthy pours for the five of us in the little dressing room. Most of my pre-wedding moments are…
By: Andrea Grimes / October 10, 2012

Hitched: Reliving The Bachelorette Life

I made sure to get the thin crust pizza, because I knew that once it was just me and a couch and Liam Neeson rescuing some people from some horrible shit and/or wolves, I was going to eat all that pizza, and I did not want the bread bloat. I was treating myself. I wa…
By: Andrea Grimes / October 3, 2012

Hitched: Why My Husband Is Getting A Vasectomy

I’ve been walking around with a sketch of a uterus and cervix in my reporter’s notebook for several weeks now, courtesy of my gynecologist. She drew it while explaining to me how an IUD works. I keep it around both because I like it as a conversation piece and because when you write about ladypart…
By: Andrea Grimes / September 26, 2012