Posts tagged "hitched"

Hitched: Please Don’t Have A Million People In Your Wedding Party

Please don’t have a million people in your wedding party.

There, I said it. I know you are the most popular and lovable person who ever lived, and you don’t want to exclude anyone, not even your sixth cousin because your fifth cousin is totally going to throw a fit, but I think…

Andrea Grimes / April 24, 2013

Hitched: Filing Taxes, For Better Or For Worse

This Sunday, Patrick and I will celebrate our first anniversary as married people. I would love to tell you the last twelve months have comprised a life-changing, soul-altering period of self-discovery and exploration of what it means to be in love. That this column will be full of witty and insightful paragraphs full of meaningful…

Andrea Grimes / April 19, 2013

Hitched: Will Your Marriage Work? Go On Vacation

It wasn’t until we were sitting on a bench on a beautiful, sunny March day in London’s Kensington Gardens, that Patrick and I had what I recall as being our first actual argument. Just under a year into our relationship, we took our first big vacation together. The details of the disagreement, of course, were…

Andrea Grimes / April 10, 2013

Hitched: “Princeton Mom” Is Lying To You

“Forget about having it all, or not having it all, leaning in or leaning out — here’s what you really need to know that nobody is telling you.”

That’s how now-infamous “Princeton Mom” Susan Patton began her letter to “Princeton women,” advising them to lock down a Princeton man by the time they…

Andrea Grimes / April 3, 2013

Hitched: The Future Bride Onesie Is Coming For Your Children

Yesterday in Austin, Texas, a city I’m very proud to call home, 250 people gathered on the south steps of the state capitol for a nice round of bigoted back-patting, peppered with lines like this, from state senator Donna Campbell: “They want to redefine marriage between a natural man and natural woman the same way…

Andrea Grimes / March 27, 2013

Hitched: 7 Things I Regret About Our Wedding

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a tongue-in-cheek checklist from the Wedding Industrial Complex to all the brides out there who are doing weddings wrong, and who will no doubt regret their many wedding-related sins forever.

But seriously folks: I have some regrets about our wedding.

Not the but-what-does-it-all-mean kind…

Andrea Grimes / March 20, 2013

Hitched: Should Marriage Be A Renewable Contract?

I seriously never thought I’d say this: I miss being engaged.

I don’t miss wedding planning, and I don’t miss being talked to as if, as a human with a ring and a vagina, I had no interests aside from talking about the details of “my” (so rarely, “our”) big day. I sure…

Andrea Grimes / March 13, 2013

Hitched: 10 Things A Woman Must Have At Her Wedding Or She’ll Regret It Forever

Hey, heterosexual ladies, the only people who matter when it comes to weddings! Gearing up for your big day this summer? Here’s a handy checklist of things essential to a great wedding day, to make sure everything is as perfect as possible or everything in your life will be meaningless.

Do you have…

Andrea Grimes / March 6, 2013

Hitched: How Many Pre-Wedding Parties Is Too Many Pre-Wedding Parties?

Shortly after Patrick and I got engaged, my mom called with a request that was so cute, I didn’t know what to say: “The ladies at church want to throw you a bridal shower.”

The “ladies” in question were women who had watched me grow up in our small-town Methodist church, with whose…

Andrea Grimes / February 28, 2013

Hitched: I Didn’t Try To Lose Weight For My Wedding

People on the internet have been telling me I’m fat for at least a decade — since whenever the first full-body photograph of me appeared on a blog author page. I still remember one of the first times it happened. I was probably 22 years old, wearing a pink pencil skirt and cute black top,…

Andrea Grimes / February 20, 2013

Hitched: Valentine’s Day, Wedding Day, What About All The Other Days?

You can read wedding magazines, and wedding blogs, and wedding everything, but you’ll almost never turn the page and see the marriage. Everything stops in a last, beautiful moment, blurred by sparklers or bubbles or birdseed as the (inevitably white, inevitably young, inevitably thin, inevitably straight) couple disappears into the back of a limousine, a…

Andrea Grimes / February 13, 2013

Hitched: Beyoncé And The Luxury Of Playing “Mrs. Carter”

Like everyone else in the country with excellent taste and a belly full of adult beverages, I very much enjoyed Beyoncé’s half-time performance at the Super Bowl on Sunday. I loved her all-woman band, particularly Bibi McGill’s spark-shooting axe. I loved the Destiny’s Child reunion. I loved that my Beyoncé half-time BINGO card included a…

Andrea Grimes / February 6, 2013

Hitched: Everybody Panic, Single Women Are Planning Weddings!

The New York Times, ever concerned about the plight of the three people it takes to make a Style Section trend story, has identified a disturbing new tendency among women to … plan their weddings. But wait for it: they’re not just planning their weddings, they’re doing it on the Internet and they’re doing it

Andrea Grimes / January 30, 2013

Hitched: Braggy Ring Photos Are Braggy

It happened in slow motion; I couldn’t stop myself. It was like I watched from outside my body — NOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGHHH — as I reached into the seat pocket, pulled out my phone, and took an artsy photo of — STTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPP — my newly paired engagement ring and wedding band.

“It’s a six-hour flight…

Andrea Grimes / January 23, 2013

Hitched: It’s Okay To Break Off Your Engagement

So, Britney Spears is no longer engaged to that dude she was engaged to, and obviously the only logical response is the one People chose, which is to lament the end of Britney’s “fairy tale.” Because all weddings are fairy tales, and literally any man a woman can be engaged to has got to be…

Andrea Grimes / January 16, 2013

Hitched: Does Being A Wife Mean Being A Proper Lady?

“Are you going to grow your hair out for the wedding?”

Obviously my stylist needed to know, because she was standing there with scissors. But family members? Dress shop employees? After the hundredth time telling people “No,” it got a little tiresome.

The question, in and of itself, isn’t offensive or…

Andrea Grimes / January 9, 2013

Hitched: Don’t Expect Marriage To Change Everything

Because the world is a mysterious place, they have given that dude who wrote Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus an advice column. Who are “they”? I don’t know. People who are reassured by “logic” that basically boils down to “Men be watchin’ football, bitches be shoppin’,” I guess.

And because…

Andrea Grimes / January 2, 2013

Hitched: What I Miss About Being Single — And What I Don’t

People just love to get engaged at Christmastime. I imagine this is a result of a combination of factors, from feeling more family-oriented than usual (although the holidays have the opposite effect on many of us) to the celebratory atmosphere at large and increased presence of shiny objects generally. I spent Christmas Eve “liking” a…

Andrea Grimes / December 26, 2012

Hitched: What You Shouldn’t Assume About People Planning Weddings

Deciding to get married — or to get engaged, or to generally not ever split up with your partner and make this preference publicly known — is an exciting and big life decision. It’s also, like a lot of life decisions (see also: parenting, graduate school, switching to hard liquor), one that your friends, family…

Andrea Grimes / December 19, 2012

Hitched: On Prenups

When I first read what folks are calling Amelia Earhart’s “prenup,” I was sure it was too good to be true: here is, in 1931 or thereabouts, a woman telling her fiancé in no uncertain terms that she doesn’t necessarily intend to be faithful to him, that her career comes first and that she intend…

Andrea Grimes / December 12, 2012