Posts tagged "hitched"

Hitched: What To Say To Wedding Busybodies

What’s the kindest thing you can do for someone who’s getting married? Keep your mouth shut. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. If you’re asked for advice? Give it, judiciously. If you’re not? Please, please, please for the love of cummerbunds, hold your tongue. That goes for anyone, whether we’re talking parents of…

By: Andrea Grimes / July 10, 2013

Hitched: The Awe-Inspiring Mundanity of True Love

I’m standing in the kitchen in my underwear, crying over a carton of fat-free half and half. I’m about to do one of those dramatic Lifetime movie moments where the emotionally exhausted woman has just had too much and she crashes to the floor with dramatic flourish and beats her fists on the ground. But I…

By: Andrea Grimes / July 3, 2013

Hitched: The Wedding Dress Body Project

Andrea is taking a much needed week off from her Hitched column this week, after spending the last few days reporting live from the Texas State Legislature as they attempted to rid the state of nearly all its clinics that provide abortions. (Thanks to Senator Wendy Davis and the rest of the "feminist army," they

By: Andrea Grimes / June 26, 2013

Hitched: I’m So Glad I Didn’t Have An “Unplugged” Wedding

It’s in The New York Times, so I guess “unplugged” weddings are a thing, at least among the handsome and affluent people who see themselves in the Paper of Record’s style section. In a column called “This Life" (imagine saying it the way you’d say “This guy! Can you believe this guy!?" and columns wondering

By: Andrea Grimes / June 19, 2013

Hitched: My Dad At My Wedding

My father didn’t walk me down the aisle on my wedding day, but he did help me up some very steep stairs. That’s not a metaphor for the next iteration of my life as a married lady: there were actual stairs, my high heels were ridiculous, and I didn’t want to fall over as I…

By: Andrea Grimes / June 12, 2013

Hitched: You Don’t Have To Spend All The Money On Your Wedding, I Promise

Had Patrick and I enjoyed the luxury of a gigantor wedding budget, there are some things that we did not get to have at our wedding but which we would have liked to have had. For me: a photo booth, more chairs, a custom dress. For Patrick: a second photographer, a videographer, a soft serve…

By: Andrea Grimes / June 5, 2013

Hitched: Stop With The Female Breadwinning Trend Stories Already

Here’s this article entitled, “The Flip Side Of Being A Female Breadwinner,” another one of those what-does-it-all-mean pieces (yes, there’s an evolutionary psychologist quoted, if you’re playing Navel-Gazey Trend Story Bingo back at home) that takes one person’s experience and blows it up in hopes of making a statement, vaguely tinged with some kind of…

By: Andrea Grimes / May 29, 2013

Hitched: You Don’t Have To Go To All The Weddings

One of my friends is going to a wedding this summer, and the bride and groom are asking their guests to buy them gold bars, since they already have literally every other thing two people in the world could possibly need. Besides gold bars. Gold Bars. Gold. Bars. Gold bars at (I understand the price…

By: Andrea Grimes / May 22, 2013

Hitched: Things Only Jerks Will Complain About At Your Wedding

If you’re planning a summer wedding, you may now be where I once was, just a few weeks before my nuptials: at the bar. I was tired of making decisions. I was tired of caring about details. I was tired of answering questions. I was tired of worrying. Planning a big-ass event is hard. Planning…

By: Andrea Grimes / May 15, 2013

Hitched: What Not To Say To People Who Don’t Want Kids

Now that I’m an old-ass boring married lady, spending all my time vacuuming in heels, watching my stories and making martinis at 5 p.m. in anticipation of the imminent arrival of the most interesting man in my world, the only thing left for me to do in life is get pregnant. But that is not…

By: Andrea Grimes / May 8, 2013

Hitched: Who’s Next?

How about this: unless you’re speaking to a person who is literally about to walk down an aisle to an altar at which they will proceed to exchange vows of lifelong love to another human being, don’t tell them they’re “next” to get married. That’s what a friend of mine’s sister told her recently, and…

By: Andrea Grimes / May 1, 2013

Hitched: Please Don’t Have A Million People In Your Wedding Party

Please don’t have a million people in your wedding party. There, I said it. I know you are the most popular and lovable person who ever lived, and you don’t want to exclude anyone, not even your sixth cousin because your fifth cousin is totally going to throw a fit, but I think you will…

By: Andrea Grimes / April 24, 2013

Hitched: Filing Taxes, For Better Or For Worse

This Sunday, Patrick and I will celebrate our first anniversary as married people. I would love to tell you the last twelve months have comprised a life-changing, soul-altering period of self-discovery and exploration of what it means to be in love. That this column will be full of witty and insightful paragraphs full of meaningful…

By: Andrea Grimes / April 19, 2013

Hitched: Will Your Marriage Work? Go On Vacation

It wasn’t until we were sitting on a bench on a beautiful, sunny March day in London’s Kensington Gardens, that Patrick and I had what I recall as being our first actual argument. Just under a year into our relationship, we took our first big vacation together. The details of the disagreement, of course, were…

By: Andrea Grimes / April 10, 2013

Hitched: “Princeton Mom” Is Lying To You

“Forget about having it all, or not having it all, leaning in or leaning out — here’s what you really need to know that nobody is telling you.” That’s how now-infamous "Princeton Mom" Susan Patton began her letter to "Princeton women," advising them to lock down a Princeton man by the time they graduate, lest…

By: Andrea Grimes / April 3, 2013

Hitched: The Future Bride Onesie Is Coming For Your Children

Yesterday in Austin, Texas, a city I’m very proud to call home, 250 people gathered on the south steps of the state capitol for a nice round of bigoted back-patting, peppered with lines like this, from state senator Donna Campbell: "They want to redefine marriage between a natural man and natural woman the same way…

By: Andrea Grimes / March 27, 2013

Hitched: 7 Things I Regret About Our Wedding

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a tongue-in-cheek checklist from the Wedding Industrial Complex to all the brides out there who are doing weddings wrong, and who will no doubt regret their many wedding-related sins forever. But seriously folks: I have some regrets about our wedding. Not the but-what-does-it-all-mean kind of regrets. But the…

By: Andrea Grimes / March 20, 2013

Hitched: Should Marriage Be A Renewable Contract?

I seriously never thought I’d say this: I miss being engaged. I don’t miss wedding planning, and I don’t miss being talked to as if, as a human with a ring and a vagina, I had no interests aside from talking about the details of "my" (so rarely, "our") big day. I sure as shit…

By: Andrea Grimes / March 13, 2013

Hitched: 10 Things A Woman Must Have At Her Wedding Or She’ll Regret It Forever

Hey, heterosexual ladies, the only people who matter when it comes to weddings! Gearing up for your big day this summer? Here’s a handy checklist of things essential to a great wedding day, to make sure everything is as perfect as possible or everything in your life will be meaningless. Do you have ...

By: Andrea Grimes / March 6, 2013

Hitched: How Many Pre-Wedding Parties Is Too Many Pre-Wedding Parties?

Shortly after Patrick and I got engaged, my mom called with a request that was so cute, I didn’t know what to say: "The ladies at church want to throw you a bridal shower." The "ladies" in question were women who had watched me grow up in our small-town Methodist church, with whose daughters I…

By: Andrea Grimes / February 28, 2013