Everything about this is gold.
Some students from the UK went all “8 Mile” on their prep school campus when an impromptu rap battle commenced, reminding the rest of us why we don’t see too many preppy sixteen year olds in the rap game these days. The overall theme of their weak four-line rhymes is definitely sex, and while these kids clearly won’t cut it in the biz, their overreactions are hilarious. They’re jumping up and down, crushing each rapper after every basic joke about sleeping with your mom. One kid even threw his arm crutch. I repeat, he THREW HIS OWN ARM CRUTCH. Basically, this is what I imagine would go down if a rap battle took place at Hogwarts, except Harry would slay that shit.
In middle school, I took a cooking class and a “life skills” class, each of which promised to prepare me for fancy grown-up tasks like adequately feeding myself, running a household and holding a baby the right way. Instead, I learned a slew of pointless tasks that did nothing to prepare me for grownup-dom. High school was no better. I went to great schools growing up, and in Home Ec, our awesome teachers were just doing the best they could with the crappy curriculum they had to work with. Still, those “life skills” lessons left me and dry. I’ve since become a domestic goddess in some areas of my life (I can sew like a boss), but I’m still muddling through learning some basic skills that my 7th grade teachers promised I’d know by the end of the semester. After the jump, some useless junk I learned in Home Ec and how they failed me.
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It’s back-to-school time for everybody from preschoolers to college students and you can’t throw a No. 2 pencil without hitting some advice on promoting academic success. Create routine! Eat properly! Get enough sleep! These are all well-intentioned suggestions we hear repeatedly. But I’m here to offer up one more nugget of educational guidance:
Don’t get suspended.
Sounds logical, and probably rather obvious, but what’s not so obvious are all the reasons that might cause you to be suspended this upcoming school year***: Keep reading »
Meet Ladarius Sapho. Tomorrow, the 18-year-old is graduating from Proviso East High School in Maywood, Illinois, just outside of Chicago, with the best grades in his class. Having achieved a weighted grade-point average of 4.135 thanks to kicking ass in his honors classes, Sapho should be a shoe-in for Valedictorian and had even prepared his speech for the big day. But early last week, school Principal Tony Valente called Sapho and the expected Salutatorian (who has the second best grades in the class) into his office to deliver a crushing blow — neither was eligible for the titles after all, because they had both started at the school as sophomores after moving into the district. Allegedly, there’s a policy that requires that valedictorians/salutatorians must have attended the school for at least seven semesters to receive the honors.
“I was gonna be number one, valedictorian of 2014. I was going to be giving the speech at graduation,” said Sapho in an interview with FOX 32 Chicago. “You’re gonna tell me just two weeks before graduation? I had a speech ready, I was ready to give this speech, practicing and he tells me I can’t be number one.” Keep reading »
By now you’ve heard about the 63 students who were arrested at Teaneck High School in New Jersey for a senior prank that veered off-course into straight-up vandalism. Nearly one-fifth of the senior class broke into the school overnight on Wednesday to pee on the floors, smear petroleum jelly on doorknobs, overturn chairs and desks, and leave raw eggs and hot dogs scattered about. These geniuses set off an alarm at 2 a.m. and got busted by police. Now the
parents pranksters are facing criminal mischief and burglary charges, which could possibly effect potential scholarships. This reminded me of an aborted senior prank some girl in my class tried. She got caught stealing the janitor’s keys (what she intended to do with them, I don’t know) and got suspended. She had been accepted into Columbia University and when they heard about her prank, they rescinded her offer. No one really felt bad for her because it was hella dumb.
Did any Frisky readers have a senior prank? How did it go? Did you get caught? What happened? [NorthJersey.com] [Image of a dunce via Shutterstock]
Dear Young Women On My Subway Car Yesterday,
I remember high school, a small world in which everyone feels like a character in an epic drama. A place where peers pass judgement and share hearsay as entertainment. Where few consider the appropriateness or repercussions of their conversations. Yesterday, the two of you stood in a New York City subway car and gossiped loudly about a classmate, making the entire subway car uncomfortable, especially as the story was about a teenage girl having sex in a public place. You laughed at her confusion about a possible pregnancy even though a condom was used. You proceeded to tell the intimate details of what she and her partner had done. I won’t share those details because my intention is not to shame the subject of your conversation. And besides, I have no right. Keep reading »