While it looks like all is well for Jay Z and Beyonce (PHEW!), another beloved American couple is on the rocks, threatening to destroy my faith in everlasting love. According to TMZ, Mama June and Sugar Bear from TLC’s “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” and parents to its star pageant queen Alana, are headed for divorce after June discovered Sugar Bear (real name: so what, who cares) cheating on her and kicked him to the curb. Apparently, June has repeatedly caught Sugar Bear trolling online dating sites, including Plenty O’ Fish where his profile handle is “Georgiafighter31054.” Though June and Sugar Bear never married, they had been together for years and Sugar Bear was a de facto father to June’s other children, Pumpkin, Chubbs and Chickadee. They also had a commitment ceremony last year, which was filmed for their TLC show. TMZ says June is over Sugar Bear’s trifling ways and plans on moving out and taking the kids with her. This is so disappointing. Wasn’t June’s biscuit enough for him? Did Sugar Bear stop seeing the beautimousness of her forklift foot? You know what, it’s Sugar Bear’s loss. June deserves someone who appreciates all the vajiggle jaggle she has to offer. [TMZ] [Photo: Splash News]
You can hear Mama June use her very original euphemisms as she gives the girls a talk about the birds and the bees on tonight’s season premiere of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” If it’s unclear, the fruit loop is part of the biscuit, which is a part of the woman’s “privatal area.” It’s called a fruit loop because “guys go loopy over it.” Obviously. [People]
Behold the Thompson family’s genius Halloween costume idea. In case you need help identifying them all: Honey Boo Boo was Kris Jenner, Mama June channeled Kim, Sugar Bear transformed into Bruce Jenner (and managed to look more manly), Anna did her best Kourtney, Jessica killed it as Khloe, Pumpkin slayed Scott Disick, baby Kaitlyn became Penelope Disick and Uncle Poodle rocked the Kanye costume (sans blackface).
“We decided to dress up like the Kardashians because everyone seems to compare our family to them. Now we’re just the redneck version,” explained Mama June. Well played, Boo Boos. [People]