Remember Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, the hydra-headed beast that terrorized Lauren Conrad, Brody Jenner and America during the mid-oughts via their appearances on “The Hills” and “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here”? Well, guess what? Despite going broke after spending all their money on crystals, plastic surgery and pre-Mayan Apocalypse tomfoolery (really), these two jackals are back. With guns. The now-bankrupt pair say that they keep guns in their California home in order to protect themselves from crazy fans that may break in. Which, HAHA, Speidi fans. The pair were recently featured in a UK documentary, appropriately titled “Speidi: Scandal, Secrets And Surgery,” where they bragged about their well-stocked gun room.
“I didn’t feel safe especially with crazed fans and stalkers out there but if somebody broke into our home, this is the only thing that could actually save my life,” said Heidi, while Spencer boasted that though England was an “amazing country,” his gun arsenal was proof of “the amazing laws in America.”
The pair are set to appear on a second season of the UK’s “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here,” because the British have apparently not reached their Speidi quota. Okay, what’s going on over in England? [Daily Mail UK]
“We made and spent at least 10 million dollars. The thing is, we heard that the planet was going to end in 2012. We thought, we have got to spend this money before the asteroid hits. Here’s some advice, definitely do not spend your money thinking asteroids are coming. The world didn’t end. I would give my friends $15,000 for their birthday. Just cash. I would buy people cars. Every valet I met got a couple of hundred pounds tip. I would pay people $200 just to open doors for us.”
– Sometimes I go multiple days — even weeks — forgetting that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag ever existed. And then a quote like this — from Spencer, speaking on behalf of himself and his wife — comes along to remind me, and I both rejoice in the knowledge that such ridiculous people exist to entertain me, and weep that they got paid such astronomical amounts of money to do so. First of all, I’m slightly suspicious that this whole “wah, wah, we spent our money because we thought the world was ending, now we’re broke” story is just another ploy for attention. The thing is, they really are broke, so no matter the reason, they did manage to blow through a crapload of money in a very, very short time. What I don’t get is, why do you need to spend all the money before the asteroid hits? I mean, wouldn’t the cash have just burned along with humanity? I just don’t get the sense that they were spending money wildly and enjoying themselves; it’s like they thought any money left over would, like, bit them in the afterlife. Regardless, I never expected Spencer and Heidi to be so charitable. I would really like to hear from one of the people who was gifted a car. Maybe “Access Hollywood” could track down one of these lucky valets now rolling in “hundred pounds” of tips? Anything to make this story, just like the world, never end. [Videogum] [Photo: Bauer-Griffin]
I can’t quite tell you why, but I was pretty darn addicted to MTV’s “Laguna Beach” and “The Hills,” and, to a lesser degree, “The City.” Nothing ever actually happened on these shows and the conversations and “characters” were basically the opposite of fascinating, but maybe it was their incredible blandness that made it hard to turn away. I think I am going overboard trying to justify this particular habit — I just like TV that temporarily lobotomizes me. Artist Karin Bubas is probably on my wavelength, because she’s created these portraits of “The Hills” stars at their most, um, poignant. I kind of dig the soft focus glow of them — they remind me of the ’80s Sweet Valley High book covers. I’m not saying I’m planning on buying one, but if someone gave me the drawing of Lauren with the single mascara-tainted tear stain on her cheek, I would make a space on my wall for it. [Karin Bubas via Buzzfeed]
I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world … For most of us, “Barbie Girl” was just a catchy pop song in the summer of 1997. But for some truly special individuals women, the Barbie doll lifestyle and the cartoonish femininity it suggests is a dedicated way of life. This here is Valeria Lukyanova, 21, of Russia, a normal-looking, pretty blonde woman … until she pops in blue contact lenses and piles on the makeup, at which point she totally looks like a Barbie doll come alive. Valeria’s wallpapered her Facebook page with pics of herself resembling the Mattel doll and the glassy-eyed vacant look is so severe, some people wonder if she’s even real. Photoshop hoax? “Real girl”? You be the judge. [Daily Mail UK]
After the jump, let’s meet some more real-life human Barbie dolls you might chance upon in the Barbie Dream House.
“At that point, we were pulling our last cards. We felt the hot-air balloon losing its gas. And at that stage, our income would be selling the photo that would go along with the divorce. … What we learned is: You can be too famous … We were all getting paid to be people we weren’t for so long that you stop—there’s no line. The gauge is gone. The gray area is gone … What real job—what political world—would want Spencer Pratt, with the stigma I’ve attached to my name?”
—Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag talk to The Daily Beast about life now that their 15 minutes of fame have fully elapsed. In the piece, Spencer fully admits that he and Heidi made themselves into villains on “The Hills” and that they faked their breakup just to get a little press. And yet, he seems to have some remorse about the whole thing. Which makes me almost feel sorry for him.
Until I read the quote after the jump. Keep reading »
Back in April, we told you that Heidi Montag, Jake Pavelka, and Danielle Staub would be teaming up for a new reality show. And now, we finally have the details of what this show will be—VH1′s “Famous Food.” Oh, but the series has even more fascinating characters—Ashley Dupre (i.e. Eliot Spitzer’s favorite call girl), Vincent Pastore (of “The Sopranos”) and two members of Three 6 Mafia, you know, since it’s hard out there for a pimp. Together these seven will be … opening a restaurant on the Sunset Strip with the help of the famed Dolce Group. One lucky winner will become an actual partner in the venture.
The first clip of the show has been released, and it focuses on Heidi (actually, so does the second). It leads me to ask many questions… Keep reading »
So, Heidi Montag, Jake Pavelka, and Danielle Staub walk into a bar. No, sadly, this is not a joke. Apparently, this is a new reality TV show. The three were in Los Angeles filming the series today and were photographed around a lunch table together. We have no idea what exactly the show will be, especially considering that the only thing uniting these three is that fact that they were controversy lightening rods on “The Hills,” “The Bachelor,” and “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” respectively. Maybe they’ll team up to fight crime? Or perhaps this is a new-fangled “Three’s Company”? Or a porno? Your guess is as good as mine. But, gulp, we will be watching. [Hollywood Hiccups, Daily Mail] Keep reading »
“On Tuesday, Heidi Montag tweeted ‘Watch out Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Here comes Heidi…’ with a link to an article saying she and her husbland were talking to our producers about coming on the show. Professionally, I’m not supposed to discuss any negotiations so I have to parse my words here. That trash is delusional and I would sooner stab my knives into my eyes than see her on this network.”
– Andy Cohen, Bravo’s Executive Vice President of Original Programming and Development and host of “Watch What Happens Live,” named Heidi Montag his “Jackhole of the Week” on last night’s show. Well, I guess that clears that up. [Starcasm] Keep reading »