What’s more stimulating than ogling celeb photos? Snaps of the rich and famous before they were! Modelinia has posted a few from Heidi Klum’s album and now we know she is not a natural blonde and, like so many of us plebeians, suffered major fashion missteps back in the day, such as tucking a pastel, geometric-patterned shirt into a pair of yellow sweatpants. (Been there, girl!) Also, and no judgment here, whatsoever, is that a trailer park? Didn’t even know they had those in Germany. A few more, after the jump!

Heidi Klum and husband Seal welcomed a little girl, Lou, this morning in Los Angeles. She joins daughter Leni and sons Henri and Johan. So cute!  [DListed]

A very preggers Heidi Klum strutted her way to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation’s “Get Schooled” Conference in some hot platform pumps. We’d call them “do me” pumps, but clearly, she already got did. [Los Angeles, 9/8/09]

The image above is not the offending image. The offending image is after the jump—that’s how wonky it is. So, Heidi Klum is on the cover of this week’s quarterly issue of Page Six Magazine and I don’t know when they did the photo shoot, but Heidi is mega preggers right now, so it must have been forevs ago OR they shot it recently and went to Crazy Town with the retouching. Whatever the case may be, they did a horrendous job. Heidi’s got an enviable “curvy” (for a model) and motherly physique—this hack job gives her what my coworker calls “totes flapjacks.” It ain’t right! Click after the jump to see Heidi’s wonk ass.

I posed nude once. The photographer was a professional and a friend, and the scene was a sound stage. The photos were black and white, and you couldn’t really see anything, as I covered up my naughty bits. It was pretty fun actually, and kind of freeing. If you’ve been wondering what it would be like to be shot in the nude, but you’ll only drop trou for a top-notch photog, this is your lucky day. Rankin has shot everyone from Britney Spears to Kate Moss to Queen Elizabeth II, and his high-gloss images have become iconic. For Rankin Live, he’ll be shooting aspiring nudes on August 29. If you are “feeling frisky” all you have to do is send him an email entitled: “Shoot Me Nude.” The catch? You have to be in the UK to do it.

Heidi Klum could have used a real four-leaf clover. The gold ones she peddled in her Heidi Klum Collection have gotten her two-year-old line jewelry shuttered. Van Cleef & Arpels, the French jeweler who owns the rights to the symbol, unleashed their legal hounds on Klum, accusing the model’s company of copyright infringement. To avert a costly lawsuit, Klum decided to close shop. Maybe this is further proof that models and celebs really should leave designing to the pros and stick with what they do best.

Heidi Klum rocked leopard print yesterday on “Late Night,” where she talked about how she’s got “pregnancy brain” (her third baby with husband Seal is due in October) and kinda forgets what’s going on sometimes. Hopefully, she’ll soon forget the part of the show when Conan O’Brien tried to sing a German lullaby for her.

Fresh faced on her way to tape “Project Runway,” spokesmodel Heidi Klum proves pregnancy is her best beauty secret. Forget make up, girls, just get knocked up! [NYC, 7/10/09]

Heidi Klum was immortalized as part of Barbie’s Blonde Ambition Collection, but the doll just looks like a regular Barbie doll to me. Now I wonder why Mattel even bothered with this collection. [7/8/09]

“Project Runway” buddies Heidi Klum and Michael Kors held hands while walking last night’s red carpet for the CFDA Fashion Awards. [NYC, 6/15/09]

• Usher proved the rumor mill right when he filed for divorce from Tameka Foster, his wife of nearly two years. [E! Online]—The only one who might be surprised about this is Tameka. Hey, I never stopped calling her by her maiden name, anyway.
• Karl Lagerfeld is swinging insults at Heidi Klum again, but this time he attacks her husband too, saying he wouldn’t want Seal’s skin, which was damaged from a form of lupus. [The Sun]—Sounds like Karl is jealous to me.
• For the second night in a row, Paris Hilton spent the night with some guy named Cristiano Ronaldo. [Dlisted]

I can’t possibly force myself to sit through another episode of “The Fashion Show.” I cannot take another hour of Kelly Rowland contorting her face into bizarre sneers. If I hear Isaac Mizrahi say “bye bye, darling,” one more time, I will snap. Because I value my sanity, or whatever is left of it since the show began, I am not going to watch “The Fashion Show”. I confess, I say this every week and then cave, but this week is going to be different. Last week I had the foresight to ask some friends to watch the show with me. After only five minutes, my friend staged an intervention and turned the show off. Good. So how will I spend my Thursday nights now? Instead of wallowing in my grief over the lack of Tim Gunn in my life, at 10:00pm tonight I am going to play"The Project Runway Game.”

Beach weddings, much like daytime weddings, are not a time to go crazy with the makeup and prom-like hair. Keep it lovely by working the bright eyes and clean-looking skin. And, because you’re going to look naturally-pretty instead of hooker-hot, pick a dress with a fun neckline or a statement necklace to add a little something-something to your look.

We are all going through major “Project Runway” withdrawal now that the show has been moved to Lifetime. Every episode of the thrown-together Bravo knock-off “The Fashion Show” is equivalent to a so-so episode of “Runway,” but the real nostalgia comes from the longing for “Runway”‘s host Heidi Klum. Here are the top four reasons why Kelly Rowland is no Heidi Klum.

Every year, lovebirds Heidi Klum and Seal renew their vows. Awww. 

Yesterday, the happy couple chose a redneck wedding theme with pink lawn flamingos and an Elvis impersonator to perform the “I do’s.” Seal sported a Billy Ray Cyrus mullet, circa “Achy Breaky Heart,” with a plaid cut-off shirt. And Heidi looked cuter than a Little Debbie Swiss Roll slice served with a toothpick, all dressed up and preggers in her white lace gown and beaded cornrows. The dress code alone makes us wish we were invited so we could bust out our awesomest fashion items!

To honor those lowbrow babes who make cheap look rich, here are our top 10 recession-friendly faves.