Jonand Kate Gosselinbrought this on. They won’t go away, and they’ve dragged their bad parenting blame game so far into the bright center of the media spotlight that it doesn’t even matter I never watched the show. I know who they are and occasionally find myself taking sides, which I shouldn’t. They both seem crazy. Poor kids are so “Truman Show”‘d, there’s probably no hope. But, they did get me thinking about all my old fantasies about having famous parents. The old “I’m really adopted, but one day my real parents will find me, and then everything’s gonna change around here ... ” fantasy. You know what I’m talking about…

I guess it’s no surprise that some people are a little twisted. But ever since Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson died within a span of 72 hours, fake celebrity death stories have started cluttering up the internet. Sites like Twitter and FakeAWish.com, even CNN’s iReport, have created major drama for publicists and sent them scrambling to set the record straight that their clients are very much alive.

One of The Frisky staffers is insanely obsessed with what she calls “man noses”—noses that are distinctive, large, masculine, and rugged looking. The antithesis of what Michael Jackson has going on with his beak, basically. Can you identify the man noses above? Cheat sheet is below. Once you think you’ve got it figured out, click past the jump to see our slideshow and find out if you’re right…

Celebrity Man Noses (in no particular order): Tommy Lee Jones, Denzel Washington, Mark Wahlberg, Daniel Craig, Adrien Brody, LeBron James, Cameron Diaz, Harrison Ford, Jay-Z, and Javier Bardem.

Today is Election Day, and I’d hate to taint the actual political merits of the hottest candidate by calling him out on his looks, charisma, and killer dance moves. Instead, let’s drool over the actors Hollywood has made rulers. Here are seven of the sexiest Presidents ever captured on screen, after the jump ...

Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart need to try kissing with their eyes closed—so much more satisfying. [Premiere of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Cannes Film Festival, 5/18/08]

Science Fiction is full of freaks, but the heroes make us want to get freaky. From spandex spacesuits to alien armor, just looking at these guys makes us sweat.  So, in honor of the gentlemen that fend off evildoers and fulfill our fantasies, here’s The Frisky’s Top Five Space Studs of Sci-Fi.

5. Sam Jones as Flash Gordon The bleach blond muscle-bound babe was tough enough to play professional football and fight off intergalactic bad guys.  He was an eyeful in spandex on screen, but if you want to see Flash in the flesh, check out his nsfw Playgirl pictorial from ‘75.  We’re pretty sure the “Flash! O-oh!” lyric from the theme song came after Freddie Mercury saw this spread.

And we do mean Indiana Jones not Harrison Ford. Love Harrison, but this hotness dedication is specific to his whip cracking character, who shall be returning to the big screen in Indiana Jones and the Kingdown of the Crystal Skull, out May 22nd. We decided to go for a photo of vintage Indy because honestly—and not to be an ageist, but c’mon—he was hottest back in the day. I really think Banana Republic owes their stock market boom to Indy and his khaki style.

Harrison Ford got his chest waxed on Access Hollywood in order to shock people into paying attention to deforestation. This is especially interesting considering how shy and reclusive the Indiana Jones star is known for being. Apparently the painful removing of his chest hair is supposed to draw a parallel to the devastating impact deforestation has on the planet. Listen, Solo, you are preaching to the choir. We appreciate the sincere message, but women have been waxing for years. Besides, we’ve all seen The 40-Year Old Virgin by now. Lookin’ good though! [Access Hollywood via Ecorazzi]