I have a theory. Happiness isn’t about the situation we’re in. It’s about how we see and feel about the situation we’re in. And this is awesome news. Because that part is completely in our control. Which means you don’t have to change your life to get happier—you don’t need a bigger apartment, more expensive shoes or a perfect relationship to be happy—you just have to change how you look at the life you already have. That’s what I call seeing life “bright side up” and in my new book, Bright Side Up, I offer one hundred ways to do just that. To get you started, here are eight ways to see your next situation from a better perspective so you can feel happier right now. Keep reading »
A new study conducted at the University of Buffalo found that the secret to a happy marriage is being slightly delusional about your partner. Researchers found that those who tend to idealize their beloved do better than pragmatists like myself when it comes to long-term happiness in marriage. “People are very good at changing their definitions to match how they want to see themselves or how they want to see others … Seeing a less-than-ideal partner as a reflection of one’s ideals predicted a certain level of immunity to the corrosive effects of time,’’ said head researcher, Sandra Murry. Aaahhh, so there is immunity to the corrosive effects of time on long-term love relationships — being out of touch with reality. You mean, I too have the power to control my romantic future with a glass-always-half-full kind of attitude and a pair of rose-colored spectacles that I leave on at all times? I am soooo screwed. [Boston.com] Keep reading »
Check out this wonderfully simple print from artist Marc Johns. Every time I look at it, I get the feeling that I’m being hypnotized, but in a good way: “You are getting happy, very happy…” [$20, Etsy] Keep reading »
When I told my best friend I was happy for her because she was pregnant, it couldn’t have been further from the truth. The truth was that her announcement ruined my day, my week and my self-esteem. It added pressure to my already pressurized mid-30s brain and kept me awake at night with images of celebrating birthdays, alone and bitter, while everyone else basked in the warmth and love of their self-made families.
A few years later, when I was pregnant, I felt too guilty to announce it to my single friends. One night, as I finally plucked up the courage to pick up the phone and share the news, I said to my husband, “Watch, as I ruin someone’s day.”
He looked at me in utter confusion. “What are you talking about?” he said. “They’re your friends. They’ll be happy for you.”
“There’s no such thing as being happy for somebody else,” I shrugged, and he looked at me like I had just announced that I was a psychopathic flesh-eating robot. Keep reading »