Tag Archives: handjobs

Please Enjoy Jonah Hill & Maroon 5 Singing This Awesomely Bad Song About Handjobs

Handjobs, Handjobs, Handjobs

Who would’ve thought a rock song about handies would include such awesome riffs? And who knew there were so many creative lyrics about them? Before Jonah Hill became the star of “Superbad,” he was music producer “Slick Rubin” in this several-years-old Maroon 5 video. (How young does Adam Levine look here?) The skit is pretty hilarious, but the song itself is surprisingly fun to listen to. Something tells me that if Jonah actually wrote lyrics for the band, we’d be hearing something a bit more creative on the radio these days … if it wasn’t bleeped out. [Gawker]

Guy Talk: In Defense Of Handjobs

Newsflash! Ladies, your man doesn’t always want to hang out with your vagina. Sometimes the most erotic and exciting thing in the bedroom is your hand. No way, this can’t be true, you’re thinking. Aren’t handjobs for sleepaway camp and when I’m on antibiotics? Aren’t they passé like beepers and hotmail accounts? The short answer is NO. But lucky for you, I’m going to give you the long answer. Finally, someone will stand up to the powerful vagina lobbyists in Washington and explain how our nation got hoodwinked into thinking handjobs are lame. My theory is simple and, naturally, revolves around baseball and Benicio Del Toro. Keep reading »

Real Chick Lit: The Handjob Handbook

E., my best guy friend in college, believed that women should eliminate giving handjobs from their hook-up repertoire. “They always end up either hurting or not being satisfying at all,” he asserted. “The bottom line: there’s no way you can do it as well as he can.” It did make perfect sense. Why should I — or any woman, for that matter — attempt to please my guy with something of which he’s perfected the art? That would be like making Italian food for Mario Batali, or giving Spencer Pratt of “The Hills” lessons on how to be a douchebag. Keep reading »

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