Further fodder for my irrational dislike of Fifty Shades of Grey: since its release, London firefighters suspect the erotic series is to blame for the increase in handcuff-related emergencies. Since 2010, the London Fire Brigade have come to the aid of 79 people trapped in handcuffs and one man with his penis stuck in the toaster (not related to Fifty Shades of Grey, but I thought you’d find it interesting nonetheless).
“I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up,” said one of the officers.
The brigade is hoping that these stats will encourage people to exercise caution and use more common sense when playing with handcuffs (or toasting their penises). Maybe the Fifty Shades trilogy needs a disclaimer: Don’t try S&M at home unless you possess common sense. [AP] [Photo from Shutterstock]
Okay, false advertising. No actual Czech beauty queens actually get spanked in this story. But the lovely ladies in the Miss Czech 2011 pageant were sternly warned they could be disqualified after photos appeared of them playing with sex toys, including handcuffs. Kinky Czech beauty queens are just about the only beauty queens I can handle, frankly. The women were reportedly drunkenly celebrating at a birthday party when the sex toys and the cameras came out. Come on, ladies! Amateur move right there. Nevertheless, I think it’s totally dumb that pageants based on looks try to make the contestants adhere to some B.S. “good girls don’t!” ideal. Good girls do, duh. [The Sun UK] Keep reading »
For those of you who like to play police officer/naughty girl in the shower, nothing says amore like neoprene, Velcro, and suction cups! OK, I don’t actually want to have sex in my shower because it’s got all kinds of nasty black fungus rapidly multiplying on the shower liner. But with a few squirts of Scrubbing Bubbles, I would totally get cuffed into these $20 sex-in-the-shower handcuffs faster than you can say “soap scum.” These fun sex toys look loads less slippery than holding on to the shampoo caddy for dear life. Free sample, please? It’s for, um, a friend. [SexToyFun.com] Keep reading »
I’ve had a lapse in judgment or two which have led to embarrassing acts of desperation in front of a man. But nothing I’ve done has even been quite so desperate (or completely nutburgers) as what Helen Sun did to her man: The 38-year-old woman allegedly slipped a Mickey in her husband’s Gatorade and then handcuffed herself to him! Keep reading »
The Swedish police received a call yesterday from a couple who had chosen to handcuff themselves but couldn’t remove them after they had had their fun. When the police arrived, a third person was in the bedroom with the couple, trying to free them to no avail. An officer then wielded a bolt-cutter and was able to remove the cuffs. May we suggest using a pair of kids handcuffs if you can’t handle the real thing? [UPI] Keep reading »