Tag Archives: halloween

Halloween Inspiration Board: Tina Belcher From “Bob’s Burgers”

Halloween Inspiration Board: Tina Belcher From "Bob's Burgers"

Okay, so I’ve never actually seen an episode of “Bob’s Burgers,” but apparently it’s popular and the character of Tina Belcher sounds like my spirit animal. At 14 years old, she has a voracious sex drive and a uniboob, and her favorite things are horses, rainbows, zombies, and writing erotic fiction. Like I said, spirit animal. Something tells me I will be watching “Bob’s Burgers” tonight. Oh, anyway, the other great thing about Tina is that she makes for possibly the easiest Halloween costume ever — chances are you can source most of this stuff from your closet. But if not, we’ve figured it out for you. Just don’t forget to practice your moaning. Keep reading »

Costume: Cara Delevigne
Halloween Inspiration Board: Model Cara Delevigne
The bad ass model is the perfect Halloween inspiration. Read More »
Costume: Spring Breakers
Halloween Inspiration Board: The Girl Bank Robbers In "Spring Breakers"
Deck yourself out as a sassy bank robber this Halloween! Read More »
Costume: OITNB
Halloween Inspiration Board: The Women Of "Orange Is The New Black"
Dress up as one of the lady prisoners from "Orange Is The New Black"! Read More »

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Spark An Irrational Fear Of Fruit

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Spark An Irrational Fear Of Fruit

There are so many options for Halloween costumes and so many of them seem to be awful. This year, we’ll be giving awards out to the best of the worst the holiday has to offer.

There are sexy/edible costumes and then there are terrifying/edible costumes. Topping the list of bizarre food costumes this year is this “Teen Midget Apple Costume.” Where shall we begin? Let’s start with the un-PC name. We can only assume that this piece of fruit is meant to be worn by either teens or little people — even though they vary wildly in size. Not that it matters, one look at this apple’s face will send even the most un-scareable trick ‘or treater running for the hills. Seriously, this is much more terrifying than “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”  [$35.99 Ebay]

7 Horror Movie Villains Ranked By Dateability

Halloween is not a holiday known for love, but stay with us for a sec. The canon of horror movies is rife with potentially dateable and definitely single men, who could all just use some love, or at least a nice dinner out.  If online dating and the daily drudge of searching for available and attractive men that won’t kill you in your sleep is getting you down, then change the game! All men are horror shows, anyway, right? Why not take that to heart and include these dudes in your list? Let’s take a look at these seven horror movie villains, and see just how dateable they really are.

Halloween Inspiration Board: Model Cara Delevigne

Halloween Inspiration Board: Model Cara Delevigne

If you pay any attention at all to the fashion industry or have picked up a fashion magazine in the last year, chances are good you at least recognize this face: Cara Delevigne is arguably the hottest up-and-coming model in years, thanks to her trademark heavy brows, wacky facial expressions, edgy street style and, uh, history of dropping bags of cocaine in public. And dressing up as Cara for Halloween turns out to be totally easy. Snag her (exact, I believe) Bart Simpson two-piece ensemble on eBay, plop on a red beanie and combat boots, sling a personalized backpack over your shoulder and make as many weird faces are you can think of all night (here are a few to inspire you). Oh yeah, and fill a small baggy with powdered sugar to act as your faux cocaine — seriously, don’t be all method and use the real stuff. As Cara knows all too well, that spells trouble. Full deets for this costume after the jump! Keep reading »

Costume: OITNB
Halloween Inspiration Board: The Women Of "Orange Is The New Black"
Dress up as one of the lady prisoners from "Orange Is The New Black"! Read More »
Costume: Spring Breakers
Halloween Inspiration Board: The Girl Bank Robbers In "Spring Breakers"
Deck yourself out as a sassy bank robber this Halloween! Read More »
Costume: Miley Cyrus
Halloween Inspiration Board: Miley Cyrus In The Video For "We Can't Stop"
Dress up like Miley in the "We Can't Stop" video this Halloween! Read More »

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Break FRAGILE Hearts

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Break FRAGILE Hearts

There are so many options for Halloween costumes and so many of them seem to be awful. This year, we’ll be giving awards out to the best of the worst the holiday has to offer.

It will be Thanksgiving soon enough and then you can watch “A Christmas Story” for 24-hours straight while eating any leftover Halloween spoils. But if you truly can’t wait another month, go ahead and dress up as the Sexy Leg Lamp, the major award that comes in the box marked FRAGILE, (pronounced the Italian way, FRA-GEEEL-AY). Surely, you will break some hearts (or maybe shoot some eyes out) in this look. [$39.99, Christmas Story Gift House]

First Time For Everything: Sex In A Haunted House

First Time: Orgy
orgy
What happened at Jessica's first orgy. Read More »
Sex With A Ghost
Ke$ha's ghost sex and other sexual encounters of the third kind. Read More »
First Time: Anal Beads
A writer tells us about her first encounters with anal beads. Read More »

Let me be clear: this house wasn’t in any way meant to be spooky. Nor was it Halloween. Even worse, my host didn’t forewarn me that there might be anything even vaguely strange about his place. The only thing he did mention, while unzipping my skirt, was that he was planning to put in an outdoor jacuzzi, just to enhance the whole ’70s swinger vibe he was going for.

I was in the middle of a “fuck tour” of Manhattan: a long weekend that literally started with an orgy at my friend’s place and continued as I met up with other people. My friend, being a fixture in the NYC sex scene for years, had a very extensive contact list of people who were willing to help the new girl get as many notches on her bedpost as possible. After a sex-starved stint working as a temp in a stuffy office, I was ready to let loose. The boy who I later discovered had a haunted house, went by the self-appointed name “Byron,” and that was the only name I knew him by. He was tall and skinny with a British accent. That was  enough for me to want to spend some more private time with him.

Byron had a nice apartment, full of warm golden light and a well-stocked bar, which I drank only one glass of wine from, refusing a second. Half of the frisson of these casual encounters was the tiny lick of fear at the base of my spine that came from a lifetime of stranger-danger stories, and as a precaution, I always tried to remain as alert as possible. Little did I know, I was scared of the wrong thing. Keep reading »

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