Tag Archives: halloween superlatives

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Get You An Ass Beating

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Get You An Ass Beating

There are so many options for Halloween costumes and so many of them seem to be awful. This year, we’ll be giving awards out to the best of the worst the holiday has to offer.

It takes a real asshole to dress up as an Ass Face for Halloween. If this is your costume pick, then you probably deserve any and all derision that comes your way. I’m not literally advocating physical violence, but surely an Ass Face deserves a hearty insult at the very least. Because … WHY? [$29.99, Spencers]

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Get You Arrested For Stalking

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Get You Arrested For Stalking

There are so many options for Halloween costumes and so many of them seem to be awful. This year, we’ll be giving awards out to the best of the worst the holiday has to offer.

I can understand wanting to be something scary for Halloween, but the Stalker Man costume and with the exceptionally, long, snakey arms reads creepy as fuck rather than frightening. I mean, does any man really want to play up his threatening side? Approach a lady while wearing this costume — or anyone for that matter — and they’ll probably call the cops. [$49.99 Spirit Halloween]

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Spark An Irrational Fear Of Fruit

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Spark An Irrational Fear Of Fruit

There are so many options for Halloween costumes and so many of them seem to be awful. This year, we’ll be giving awards out to the best of the worst the holiday has to offer.

There are sexy/edible costumes and then there are terrifying/edible costumes. Topping the list of bizarre food costumes this year is this “Teen Midget Apple Costume.” Where shall we begin? Let’s start with the un-PC name. We can only assume that this piece of fruit is meant to be worn by either teens or little people — even though they vary wildly in size. Not that it matters, one look at this apple’s face will send even the most un-scareable trick ‘or treater running for the hills. Seriously, this is much more terrifying than “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”  [$35.99 Ebay]

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Break FRAGILE Hearts

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Break FRAGILE Hearts

There are so many options for Halloween costumes and so many of them seem to be awful. This year, we’ll be giving awards out to the best of the worst the holiday has to offer.

It will be Thanksgiving soon enough and then you can watch “A Christmas Story” for 24-hours straight while eating any leftover Halloween spoils. But if you truly can’t wait another month, go ahead and dress up as the Sexy Leg Lamp, the major award that comes in the box marked FRAGILE, (pronounced the Italian way, FRA-GEEEL-AY). Surely, you will break some hearts (or maybe shoot some eyes out) in this look. [$39.99, Christmas Story Gift House]

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Get Chewed On By Drunk Partygoers

Halloween Superlatives: Most Likely To Get Chewed On By Drunk Partygoers

There are so many options for Halloween costumes and so many of them seem to be awful. This year, we’ll be giving awards out to the best of the worst the holiday has to offer.

Sexy/edible is Halloween costume category that has always been unsettling. Because…why? Last year, we were forced to make sense of the sexy bacon and sexy hamburger costumes. This year, Yandy.com has added sexy pizza and sexy french fries to their inventory. The only thing this costume will get you is nibbled on by a bunch of drunkards at your Halloween party. And not the good kind of nibbling. [$69.95 Yandy]

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