According to a “source” at The Sun, Gwyneth Paltrow has taken on the role of “life coach” for Cameron Diaz.
”Gwyneth’s sorted out everything from finances to hooking her up with her trainer. She has also forced her to swear off sex for a year, saying men distract her focus … ‘Gwyneth is a nurturer. Cameron is bummed about being single, so Gwyneth sees her as a project. She’s trying to set her up with guys!”
I know, I know, this probably isn’t true, but I died laughing imagining Gwyneth advising Cameron to stay celibate for a year. Awful advice. Unless, of course, that’s what Cameron wants. Personally, I’d want to kill a smug married friend who thought of me as her single “project” and instructed me not to have sex for a year. But that’s just me. [ONTD]
Behold, “trainer to the stars,” close friend of Gwyneth Paltrow, and all-around jerk Tracy Anderson! This is the very same Tracy Anderson who believes she can “redesign” every body into a “teeny tiny dancer type” regardless of genetics, blames pregnant women and new mothers for “letting their bodies go,” and thinks that they could all really benefit from buying her exercise DVD. Especially that Kate Middleton. Now, I don’t much care for Tracy, but I do know this: she may consider herself an authority on fitness, but she is definitely not an authority on practical footwear.
I must admit, not a day goes by where I don’t wake up feeling just a tiny bit pissed off that Gwyneth Paltrow is BFFs with Jay-Z and Beyonce. And husband Chris Martin reaps the rewards! On New Year’s Eve, Coldplay and Jay-Z co-headlined the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, ring in the new year with Jay’z “Run This Town.” In the background, you can see Gwyneth gettin’ down with her fierce white lady moves. (I’m not judging, really — I went to see Phish TWICE this weekend and have never danced so white in my life.) And on stage you can also see kids Apple and Moses dancing as well. I’m not so jealous of Gwyneth’s friendship with the Carters that I can’t admit that’s pretty cute. [NYMag.com]
Here are just a few of the many reasons I wake up every day pissed off that I’m not Margot Tenenbaum: child prodigy, award-winning author and playwright, perfect bob and the face to pull it off, mink coat, wooden finger, cold, haughty aloofness, perfect eyeliner application, marriage to Raleigh St. Clair, verboten romance with hot brother Richie, affair with Eli Cash. She is my dream girl insofar as in my dreams, I am her. But you know who I think is super, super lame? Like, the lamest? Gwyneth Paltrow! She is cripplingly lame. I can’t even reconcile her acting ability with her actual existence because I’m just like, oh my god, Goop, put your Margot clothes back on already for Christ’s sake. Keep reading »
Another day, another way Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP-y GOOP-dom is GOOPing into your life. Now she’s got herself a line of GOOP-inspired Butter London nail polishes. Keep reading »
After Scarlett Johansson debuted her new tattoo, Amelia and I both didn’t get it. We had an in-depth conversation about it, where we came to the realization that the reasons we didn’t like it were: A) it was exactly the kind of tattoo we expected Scarjo to get (the same way we expected her to release a Tom Waits cover album) and B) something about it seemed like she was trying too hard to demonstrate her street cred (the same way her Tom Waits cover album did).
We say this as two tattooed women who both have Chinese character tattoos we’re embarrassed of. I have two other tattoos, which I love because they have deep meaning to me. Maybe “Lucky You” has deep meaning to Scarjo, who knows? That’s not important. What’s important is this: Scarjo and her “Lucky You” tattoo inspired a much longer reverie about other celebrity tattoos we are expecting to see any day now. When they come true, just remember, we called it first.