It’s always a bit uncomfortable when famous women accidentally (or on purpose) overshare about what kind of hairstyles they’re rocking down south. Recently, a chance to have dinner with Gwyneth Paltrow was auctioned off to a pair of Australian DJs for $30,000. Why they paid that much, I don’t know. But luckily they were recording the whole thing because during their date with Gwyneth, she had a few too many drinks and talked about her vadge:
“‘I got a big ’70s bush.’ Which I was kidding. But then it was all a disaster. And now I look like an eight-year-old girl, basically …. Every time I have a bikini wax, Cameron Diaz holds me down …. Cheers to our hairless vaginas!”
I don’t know what feels more uncomfortable to know: the fact that Gwyneth’s vagina looks like her daughter’s or that Cameron Diaz restrains her while she gets waxed. Well, at least she wasn’t complaining about how boring the Met Gala was. That’s really bad first date conversation. [WOW]
Click through for more details about famous ladies’ pubic hairstyles.
Many people don’t know this, but there was a time, in between filming “Shakespeare in Love” and “Sliding Doors,” that patron saint of GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow, was in a punk band. They were called Cockjuice, and they played all the clubs on the punk circuit, amassing violent and excited crowds at ABC No Rio and squats around Europe. Gwyneth gained quite a reputation as an outspoken proponent of socialism — calling on Americans to take the streets to protest late ’90s Clinton-era fascist American policies, and the inheritance tax. She was known as an inveterate rabble-rouser and sometimes-drunk, whose pre-show routine always included at least a fifth of bourbon and a punch or two in the greenroom wall.
For several months, Cockjuice rode high on the fumes of DIY success. But then, one day, Gwyneth had a soul-searching revelation: acting and giving diet advice was where she was really needed. So she gave it all up — the shows, the glory, the post-show drunken fistfights — and settled down with the singer of Coldplay. Keep reading »
“I’m never going [to the Met Ball] again. … It was so un-fun. It was boiling. It was too crowded. I did not enjoy it at all.”
— You hear that, Anna Wintour? Gwyneth Paltrow did not enjoy her time at the Met Ball, and she will not be attending next year. So, on that note, is there an empty seat I could fill? … What about an empty dress? There’s gotta be an empty dress. [New York Post]
Gwyneth Paltrow generally leaves a bad taste in my mouth — a taste eerily reminiscent of wilted kale — but I am capable of appreciating aspects of her personality that are actually kind of endearing. Like the solid effort she put into the embarrassing task of imitating famous rappers like Jay-Z, Kanye West and Macklemore, on “Ellen” yesterday. Her Beyonce isn’t bad either. But that Chris Martin impression needs work.
To tell you the truth, I don’t really give a shit that Gwyneth Paltrow is selling bikinis for little girls through her website, GOOP. Gwyneth Paltrow is also the person who suggested your spring wardrobe could use a $1,615 black skirt. She’s not really the arbiter of sensibility or good taste, no matter how many thousand-dollar clothing items she convinces you that you just have to have. The bikini in question is a $45 miniature version for girls (pictured at right) that matches an adult design, all of which were created by designer Melissa Obadash for GOOP. I do think that bikinis are too grown up for five-year-olds; I also think that this battle against the sexualization of young girls has already been lost. Bikinis for little girls aren’t going to go anywhere. I wouldn’t buy a bikini for my own hypothetical kid because I just think one-pieces are more appropriate, but Gwynnie and her GOOPies can do what they want — and expect the rest of us to laugh at them. [Styleite, Daily Mail UK]