“The Internet also allows us the opportunity to project outward our hatred, our jealousy. It’s culturally acceptable to be an anonymous commenter. It’s culturally acceptable to say, ‘I’m just going to take all of my internal pain and externalize it anonymously.’ … It has nothing to do with me. They have an internal object, and they’re putting it on me. I kind of look at it as, ‘Wow this is an interesting social experiment.’ You’re talking about a blind stranger having feelings about you. It can only be projection. …
You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it’s a very dehumanizing thing. It’s almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it. My hope is, as we get out of it, we’ll reach the next level of conscience.”
While I have my own complicated feelings about internet commenters, and certainly have no love in my heart for trolls who drop by just to stir the pot or call people names or spout racist/sexist/homophobic bullshit, I think Gwyneth Paltrow makes three big mistakes in this interview with re/code. First, she lumps all anonymous commenters together, as if they’re one hive mind that is, naturally, beneath her. Secondly, she shows no understanding of the very legitimate reasons why people might choose to comment anonymously beyond just wanting the freedom to “project” their internal pain onto her. And third, she equates negative comments online to a bloody, dehumanizing war. Bad idea, Goopy. Anonymous commenters? Have at her if you’d like… [re/code] Keep reading »
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s divorce, excuse me, conscious uncoupling may sound full of good, peaceful vibes, but a SHOCKING new report from In Touch (grain of salt, blah blah blah) suggests otherwise. According to the gossip mag, Martin was spotted taking his and Paltrow’s two kids, Moses and Apple, to a fast food restaurant where the three of them ate french fries. If that isn’t the most wonderfully specific passive aggressive move ever, I don’t know what is. Paltrow, after all, is a complete psycho about what goes into the temple that is her body and is no doubt as fastidious about what her children eat. Not that I’m advocating for fast food — generally, that shit is gross and bad for you — but it just tickles me that Martin, finally freed from Gwyneth’s oppressive food policies, might have been like, “Hey kids, who wants to consciously couple their stomach with some deep fried starch?” I still hate Coldplay, but damn, Chris has suddenly earned my admiration. [In Touch via Jezebel] [Photo: Fame/Flynet]
“I’m not a single mom with two jobs trying to get by every day. I have much more support than most people, most women in this world. And I have the financial means to have a home and health care and food. When I feel I’m doing too much, I do less, if I can. And that’s why I’m in a rare position where I don’t have to do job after job. I can take time when my family needs it. I actually feel that women in my position, when we have all at our disposal to help us, shouldn’t complain. Consider all the people who really struggle and don’t have the financial means, don’t have the support, and many people are single raising children. That’s hard.”
–Angelina Jolie tells The New York Daily News that she’s fed up with super rich, famous moms with armies of nannies and piles of money complaining about how hard their lives are. You can almost hear her muttering “cough … GWYNETH … cough” between the lines here, can’t you? If you’ll recall, a few months ago, Gwynnie made some truly cringe-worthy comments about how her life as a famous, uber rich mom was actually harder than if she was a normal working mom with an office job. Leave it to Angelina to drop a truth bomb on GOOP’s distorted view of reality. [Us Weekly]
With the way the media shoves the “mommy wars” down our throats, I’m amazed that there isn’t already a reality show based on that concept out there. (Reality TV producers, this is NOT an invitation to prove me wrong). You could have a handful of women battling it out for their child’s love! Or society’s approval! They would earn or lose points based on whether they ate deli meat or soft cheese during pregnancy, whether they had a homebirth or a highly medicalized one, whether they breastfed their kids, used cloth diapers, only fed organic, stayed home or went back to work.
It would be exhausting to watch, and truth be told, there wouldn’t be any winners. This is exactly how I feel most days as I watch the “mommy wars” being trotted out as a way for women to pit themselves against other women in morning news segments, blog headlines and magazine covers. I still shudder when picturing TIME‘s infamous “Are You Mom Enough?” cover.
So it should surprise exactly no one that when I read Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest GOOP newsletter with her own thoughts on the “mommy wars,” I couldn’t help but cringe. Keep reading »