Dear Gwyneth Paltrow,
Even though I sort of can’t stand you and think it’s annoying that you think your taste is so amazing and your life is so grand as to warrant informing others how they can better their lives, I must admit I look forward to my weekly dose of GOOP. BUT, a token of advice: when you contact “five brilliant directors (four of whom I have worked with and one who I worship)” and ask them to list their favorite movies, you might want to make sure you spell their names correctly. Especially the one you “worship.” It’s Sofia, not Sophia, Coppola.
Amelia Keep reading »
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Dear Gwyneth Paltrow,
A few weeks ago, I wrote about my least favorite issue of Us Weekly — their annual “Diets That Work!” extravaganza. As usual, they lauded the absurd diet and fitness habits of already totally skinny celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Beyonce, and Molly Sims. But three weeks have passed and the editors have seemed to come to a realization — many of the fad celebrity diets which result in the super slim bodies they praised for “28 Bonus Pages!” are actually, GASP, dangerous and unhealthy. The latest issue of Us reports on “the new and risky cleanses stars” — like Paltrow, Beyonce, and Sims — “use to slim down.” Wait, you mean Gwyneth needs to do more than work out 14 hours a week in order to have those enviable stems? Say WHAT?! Keep reading »
Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to know that she’s definitely going to drop those “few pounds of holiday excess,” and you can, too! In her latest GOOP newsletter, Gwynie shares the secret to shedding those pounds quickly: a detox diet! While a fan of hardcore Master Cleanses in the past, she couldn’t fathom sucking on lemons in the middle of winter, so she consulted her detox diet specialist (don’t you have one?!). He provided her with a cleanse diet that bans gluten, dairy, processed food, shellfish, condiments, sugar, and fun. Gwyneth took his recs and created a seven-day “elimination” menu, including lots of shakes and juices that “are meant to be liquid meals that help decrease the amount of work your digestive system has to do.” Keep reading »
Celebs usually try to keep the public out of their business, but Gwyneth chose to expose all of hers. And seriously, were those white socks necessary? Keep reading »