guy talk - Page 3

Guys

“You’re either gay, straight, or lying.”

I first heard that oft-repeated phrase when I was an 18-year-old freshman at UC Berkeley. I was at my first meeting of the GLBA (Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Alliance). I’d recently broken up with a girlfriend, and had been dating (and sleeping with) both men and women; I… READ MORE »


Guys

I don’t think I have a small penis. I mean, I’ve stared at it all of my life. I can wrap my fingers around it, so I know it’s not of Sasquatch proportions. There are inches there, multiple inches, of love. I’d say it would make a nice cigar. I have been given the standard… READ MORE »


Guys

It’s been over 30 years, but I still remember the day Jenny Talbot caught me staring at her boobs.

Jenny and I sat next to each other in a couple of classes. We weren’t exactly friends, but friendly; she helped me in math, I helped her in social studies. One day, Jenny and I… READ MORE »


Guys

Before I start here, I need to explain why the distinction between the type of “work” I’m talking about here is different from the typical kind of “job” drudgery lamented in endless Dilbert comics and annoying Facebook status updates. The type of workplace referenced here is the kind that serves as a funnel for your… READ MORE »


Guys

With the royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton just over two weeks away, Buckingham Palace is letting out daily updates of the impending nuptials. Few bits of news have proved as controversial as the announcement that the future king will forgo a wedding band after he’s married.That decision hasn’t been well received by… READ MORE »


Guys

I don’t know that a formal survey’s been done, but I think it’s safe to say that in the eyes of most straight men in America, turbans on a women’s head aren’t hot. Neither are ostrich-feather miniskirts, utility pants, or capes. To many guys, tight, form-fitting, and revealing fashions constitute “sexy.” And isn’t that what… READ MORE »


Guys

In my office, Amber is telling me a familiar story. She’s come to talk about her autobiography paper for my women’s studies class, and she reads part of her rough draft aloud.

“I was 12, and this car pulled up alongside me as I was walking home from school … the driver looked… READ MORE »


Guys

I read a blog post earlier this month that sounded a familiar refrain: Are single women too independent for their own good? Women’s magazines ask that question, men’s magazines ask that question, and the answer is almost always the same: yes. … READ MORE »


Guys

If you’ve turned on a TV since 1998, you know how obsessed we are with hard-ons. Since the little blue pill appeared more than a dozen years ago, countless imitators of varying legitimacy and effectiveness have hit the market. Ads for drugs that promise to cure erectile dysfunction run nonstop during sporting events, and the… READ MORE »


Guys

When I was getting clean and sober in a Twelve Step program many years ago, there was one phrase from the literature that always resonated with me. We addicts have been, the book said, the “architects of our own adversity.” Yes, I thought the first time I read that. It’s time to stop blaming others… READ MORE »


Guys

Like countless American children, I grew up hearing the nursery rhyme that claimed that little boys were made of “snips and snails and puppy-dog tails” while girls were “sugar and spice and everything nice.” Attached as I was as a small boy to our pet dachshund, I thought puppy-dog tails were a fine thing indeed,… READ MORE »


Guys

When you think of American women, what do you think of? If you said an incredibly diverse group of people with varying interests, shades of hair, skin colors, religions, and creeds, then you’re right. But one guy feels otherwise and has dedicated an entire blog to bashing us American women, claiming we are all the… READ MORE »


female friendship week

I have a fair number of female friends, and sometimes dating is hard as a result. I’m not Casanova — I write on the internet for a living, for Christ’s sake — but my girlfriends often get jealous of my girl-gendered friends. They think that if I’m hanging out with a female friend, I’m probably… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Newsflash! Ladies, your man doesn’t always want to hang out with your vagina. Sometimes the most erotic and exciting thing in the bedroom is your hand. No way, this can’t be true, you’re thinking. Aren’t handjobs for sleepaway camp and when I’m on antibiotics? Aren’t they passé like beepers and hotmail accounts? The short answer… READ MORE »


Guys

The clever lyric goes: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” But an even greater lyric might go: “Life is what happens while you’re feeling about 11 years old.” I’m often told by my shrink that the greatest challenge for men is reconciling that they are in fact adults, while… READ MORE »


Guys

I used to think that when a relationship ends, there’s no reason to see the other person again, other than in casual public settings. After all, it’s called “ending a relationship” for a reason. All of that changed when I dated one of my long-time friends. She’s excellent. When things didn’t work out romantically, we… READ MORE »


Guys

Sure, we all look like Brad and Angie after a few shots on a moonlit night. Tanned, toned and ready for some serious lovemaking, we hop into our lover’s bed for a night of hot-shadow-sex. But assuming it’s more than a one-night stand, sooner or later it’s time for Vulnerable Sex. You know the kind—unholy… READ MORE »


Guys

It was 11:45 p.m. on a Wednesday night. My wife and I were exhausted and cozied up in bed together. We both had one thing on our minds. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the same thing. I was craving sex and she was craving the season three finale of “Friday Night Lights.” We were at a standstill,… READ MORE »