Tag Archives: guy talk

Guy Talk: How Do You Handle Your Relationship Issues?

Guy Talk: Friendzone
What guys need to know about the friendzone. Read More »
Guy Talk: First Date
There was a reason he never called you after that great first date. Read More »
Guy Talk: Waiting
No man is worth waiting for. Really. Read More »

Let’s say you and your significant other are having an issue—one that isn’t a relationship killer, but is serious enough that it can’t be ignored. How do you deal with it?

Here’s what I do: I go into a mental huddle. I sit down, by myself, and I replay the situation in my head. I think about what exactly I might be frustrated with, what would need to happen for this frustration to go away, and what steps I can take to get myself there. Next, I think about what the issue might be for her, what exactly she might be frustrated with, and what an acceptable solution might be for her. From there, I decide how best to tackle the issue. Only then am I ready to talk about it. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: What Dudes Need To Know About The “Friendzone”

Proving Masculinity
Why owning a gun doesn't make you even more of a man. Read More »
Shaming "Nice Guys"
nice guys of OK Cupid
All about the Nice Guys Of OK Cupid Tumblr. Read More »
"Nice Guys" Who Rape
Intent isn’t everything, but it does matter. Read More »

Let’s talk for a minute about the “friendzone.”

Don’t worry, fellas, this isn’t a lecture. It’s an advice column, because there is something you deserve to know: There is a very simple, nigh-foolproof way to avoid ending up in the situation that that exceptionally loaded word describes.

And I will tell you what it is. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: Our First Date Was Nothing Spectacular

Guy Talk: Cheating
This guy doesn't regret cheating. Read More »
Guy Talk: Waiting
No man is worth waiting for. Really. Read More »
Guy Talk: Race
Why this guy dates outside his race. Read More »

Today, December 7th, marks the one-year anniversary of my first date with Melissa.

I wish I could say that I knew from our very first date that this was going to be something special. That the moment I saw her, I was smitten. That our first date was the most amazing date I’d ever been on, full of spontaneous fun and spark-filled exhilaration.

I wish I could say all that. But I’d be lying.

Our first date went well, but honestly, it wasn’t anything spectacular. I certainly can’t say that it stood out above every other first date I’ve been on. Even the circumstances of our meeting weren’t very fairy tale-like. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: I Don’t Regret Cheating

Is He Cheating?
How to tell if he's runnin' around on you. Read More »
Guy Talk: Jerk
Why guys act like jerks when they break up with you. Read More »
Not The One
Four signs he's not the guy for you. Read More »

Do you know how, on job applications, they always ask if you’ve ever been arrested? And then they invariably follow it up with, “If yes, please explain?”

Do you ever get the feeling that if you write “yes” on the first blank, there is absolutely nothing you can write on the second that will save your application from a permanent trip to the reject pile?

Well, there’s one relationship question that I believe operates under the same premise. That question is: “Have you ever cheated on someone?”

Sure, you can answer yes and try to explain. You can stutter and stall all you want. But, the moment your mouth starts to make that “y…” sound, your forehead will immediately be stamped with a giant, red “CHEATER” in indelible ink.

So, I’ll confess now. Yes, I’ve cheated on a girlfriend. Stamp away. But, I’m still going to give my grand explanation. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: No Man Is Worth Waiting Around For

Guy Talk: First Move
The real reason women shouldn't make the first move. Read More »
Guy Talk: Jerk
Why guys act like jerks when they break up with you. Read More »

At some point, you’ve probably fallen for a guy who just isn’t in the “right place” when you meet him. Maybe it’s obvious from his inability to communicate his feelings. Or, maybe he just flat-out tells you that he’s not ready to be in a relationship.

Do you wait for him? Do you tell yourself to be patient and let him sort through his issues?

Someone did that for me once. For five years. Would you be at all surprised to find out that it never worked out between us? Keep reading »

Guy Talk: I Date Outside My Race Because My Race Doesn’t Want To Date Me

Guy Talk: First Move
The real reason women shouldn't make the first move. Read More »
Guy Talk: Romantics
Guys can be hopeless romantics too. Read More »
Guy Talk: Jerk
Why guys act like jerks when they break up with you. Read More »

In case my last name doesn’t make it obvious enough, I’m Asian. At the same time, as some of my friends have noticed, my last few girlfriends have all been decidedly not Asian.

To their mock-raised eyebrows, my response is, “I’m sorry. It’s not my fault.”

Okay, okay, I know what they’re thinking: As an Asian, I’m supposed to like “my own kind,” right?

Sure. And eat rice … and love math … and know just how much starch to add to your laundry … and all those other uncomfortable, racial stereotypes we’re not supposed to talk about.

Not surprisingly, I’ve often been slapped with the “Twinkie” label. In case you aren’t hip on your semi-offensive urban speak, a Twinkie is an Asian who acts white—that is, yellow on the outside, but white on the inside.

But, here’s a secret: My preference for dating non-Asian women wasn’t a conscious choice. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: The Real Reason Women Shouldn’t Make The First Move

Guy Talk: First Date
There was a reason he never called you after that great first date. Read More »
Guy Talk: Romantics
Guys can be hopeless romantics too. Read More »
Guy Talk: First Kiss
One guy talks about making the first move. Read More »

Maybe you catch him standing at the other end of the bar, slyly checking you out. Maybe you met him before and flirted with him, but he never asked for your phone number. Or, maybe you’ve already hung out with him a few times, but a casual arm flung over your shoulders is about the extent of the physical contact he’s made so far.

So, you saunter over to him and say hi.

Or, the next time you see him, you say, “So, are you ever going to ask for my phone number?”

Or, as you’re sitting on the couch next to him, streaming yet another movie on Netflix, you turn to look him in the eyes, and you decide to just go for it and kiss him.

Like that daydreaming moron you’re stuck behind at the busy intersection, these are the guys who make you throw your arms up in the air and yell, “You’ve got the green light! Just go already!”

Yes, there are a lot of timid guys out there.

But now, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Timid guys aren’t as numerous as you may think. In fact, that cute guy who flirts with you and acts interested, but never actually does anything about it, can turn out to be a totally different breed of guy. He’s not timid, or awkward, or nervous. He’s manipulating you.

Keep reading »

Guy Talk: 5 Ways That Men Are Also Hopeless Romantics

Guy Talk: First Date
There was a reason he never called you after that great first date. Read More »
Hitched
Can you throw a cheap wedding in this day and age? Read More »
Guy Talk: Last Name
This man took his wife's last name. Read More »

Here’s a poorly kept secret: Men are also from Venus. That’s what I’ve learned after six years of writing for The New York Times wedding section—also known as the Ladies’ Sports Pages.

Sure, a few thousand years’ history of raping and pillaging suggests otherwise, but beneath the stubble and the Sportscenter addiction, most men are as confused, vulnerable and romantic as women when it comes to falling in love.

Did I mention I’m also one of those men? Keep reading »

Guy Talk: Why I’ll Act Like A Jerk If I Break Up With You

How To Dump
There is a proper way to dump someone you're dating. Read More »
Guy Talk: First Date
There was a reason he never called you after that great first date. Read More »
Get Over A Breakup
How to get over a breakup, according to John DeVore. Read More »

In the 2007 remake of “3:10 to Yuma,” Christian Bale’s character loses his leg while fighting in the Civil War. As compensation, the government gives him a sum of money, which he uses to attempt to forge a new life. After he fails miserably, he realizes that the government never actually cared about helping him. They just wanted to erase any obligation they had. He sums up his disillusionment more cynically than anything Batman ever came up with: The government didn’t give him the money so he could walk away. They gave him the money so they could walk away.

Recently, I discovered that the same idea applies to dating. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: Why You Never Heard From Me Again After Our Amazing First Date

Guy Talk: Orgasms
Some guys fake orgasms, too. Read More »
Guy Talk: Last Name
This man took his wife's last name. Read More »
Guy Talk: First Move
How does a guy know when to make the first move? Read More »

Think of the best first date you ever went on.

Got it? Okay, what did you do immediately afterwards?

If you’re like some women I’ve been out with, you called up your best friend and gushed all about the date. You even posted a not-so-subtle status update on Facebook. Something along the lines of, “Just had an AMAZING night!”

Now, here’s my next—and more important—question:

Before you gushed to your best friend, before you flaunted your euphoria all over Facebook, did you ever stop to consider how your date might have felt about that “amazing” night?

One scenario I encounter frequently on dating advice sites is the woman who goes on a fabulous first date, only to find herself confused when she never hears from that guy again. So, she’s left to wonder … What happened?

“The date went so well. We had so much fun and clicked so amazingly. He was hot and charming and intelligent. I was hot and charming and intelligent. He couldn’t take his eyes off me the whole night So… why didn’t he call again?!” Keep reading »

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