This video from Brooklyn’s Late Night Basement happens to be situated right at the intersection of my two favorite things: making fun of batter-dipped fried cheese nugget Guy Fieri and ridiculing the ironic hipster underbelly of Brooklyn. Intrepid reporter Chris Rose interviews the bespeckled and be-skinny jeans wearing Williamsburglars about a (fake) impending Guy Fieri chain restaurant. You could almost imagine Fieri serving up nacho cheese-fed foie gras and “factory farm to table” food, right? And Vampire Weekend as investors? Of course. [YouTube]
Guy Fieri’s American Kitchen & Bar has had its problems. But grillmaster and flamed shirt fan Guy Fieri couldn’t have imagine the trouble he’d have after failing to buy the URL for his restaurant. Instead, hilarious Pauline Vassiliadis (an out of work writer) bought the URL and created a fake but-all-too-real version of his menu. (Click here for larger image.) There’s the Hobo Lobo Bordello Slam Jam appetizer plate, consisting of “38 ounces of super-saddened, Cheez-gutted wolf meat” garnished with “thick & funky Mushroom Dribblins.” Or the Panamania entree: “Deep fried snake with a printed out picture of David Lee Roth stapled on it and a sparkle sticking out of each eye.” And they didn’t skimp on sides, either. You can get fries “cooked with absolutely no mercy” or the Olive Garden, which is “22 pounds of wine-stunned Kalamata olives tumbled over iceberg lettuce. Ranch hose optional.”
It’s making me so hungry, really. [Guy's American Kitchen & Bar]
Have you been catching those commercials for the new Food Network show “Chef Wanted”? The show stars chef Anne Burrell as a Gordon Ramsey-esque totalitarian attempting to whip a bunch of amateur chefs into shape. Will we watch it? Maybe, because who doesn’t love watching a bunch of grown ass adults be belittled by someone? That’s a foundational element to reality TV. But in the meantime, I believe I’ve unlocked the keys to the Food Network Kingdom: Blonde spikey hair. Consider, if you will, Burrell, along with Supreme Yeller Gordon Ramsey and Fire-themed Clothing Fanatic Guy Fieri. Too much of a coincidence for my brain. Keep reading »
Guy Fieri is having a bad few months. First, his new Times Square restaurant gets the total gasface from The New York Times. And now, news comes out that his frozen S’mores Indoors Pizza is a flavor abomination. The dessert pizza claims to be made with “sweet graham cracker crust, rich melted chocolate, semi-sweet chocolate chips and melted marshmallows.” But! The packaging neglects to mention the pizza’s secret ingredient, which is apparently cayenne pepper. Oh yeah, somehow a bunch of spicy crap got mixed in with this seemingly sweet recipe, and consumers are angry. The Sam’s Club comment page for the S’mores Indoors pizza is blowing up with major pizza drama as consumers rally against the surprisingly spicy ‘za. Keep reading »
Ha HA! In the wake of The New York Times’ hilariously abysmal review of Guy Fieri’s new Times Square restaurant, the bleached blonde Food Network host — who puts something called “donkey sauce” on everything – almost “appeared” on “Saturday Night Live” this weekend. For some reason, the sketch never aired on the broadcast — did Fieri promise “SNL” producer Lorne Michaels unlimited Rockin’ Red Mojitos every time he dines at his American Kitchen & Bar in exchange for pulling it? Regardless, it’s online! Watch above.
Yes, that’s Ashton Kutcher and Guy Fieri, doing that thing that they do (being d-bags), at the Maxim Kentucky Derby party.
Questions for Guy Fieri, regarding his new line of men’s jewelry. Does this line include barbecue sauce, or barbecue sauce-flavored gems? If not, why? What about a container for hot sauce or a secret compartment for other choice condiments? Was your intention in creating the line to enable ladies to quickly and swiftly identify the d-bags in the room, or was that simply an unintended (but helpful) byproduct of your design? Get back to me, Guy. Thanks!
“Anytime any woman mentioned ‘cream,’ Guy went into a sexual riff. When cutting the show, you had to tell the editors to watch Guy’s eye line, because it’s always on breasts. … Guy had decided that the two men running the restaurant were life partners. He said, ‘You can’t send me to talk to gay people without warning! Those people weird me out!’ … [Guy was] demanding tremendous research from my people, and pictures, but they didn’t want to pay for them. Guy said to me: ‘You know, it’s true: Jews are cheap.’”"
— Producer David Page rips into Guy Fieri, the wackadoodle-haired “Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives” star, in a cover story exposé in City Pages magazine. Page hired Fieri, a chef, to host the Food Network show, which became a runaway hit. But as his former producer tells it, Fieri ogled women and openly made bigoted comments about gays and Jews. Keep reading »
By now you’ve probably heard — or seen for yourself — that “Bridesmaids” is totally hilarious and Melissa McCarthy, who plays tomboyish and frisky
Megan, is clearly the breakout star of the film. On last night’s “Conan,” she revealed the celebrity inspiration for her character: None other than spiky-haired chef Guy Fieri. “Every scene I would have my glasses on the back of my head,” McCarthy explained. “I tried for a long time to convince them to let me wear short, white, spiky hair, and they were like, ‘You can’t actually be Guy Fieri.’” It makes so much sense! [Splitsider
] Keep reading »
Check out this dude’s sweet hair. Doesn’t it sit so luxuriously on top of that fashionable camo visor he’s wearing? Well, newsflash: those aren’t actually his locks. Believe it or not, that faux hair is part of the Flair Hair Woodland Camo Visor which transforms any bald guy into an Insta-D-Bag. Check out another pic of the worst fake hair in the world, after the jump. [Sportsman's Guide] Keep reading »