Tag Archives: gum

8 Good Universe Moments And What They Might Mean

Running into an old crush. Thinking about a friend and getting a text from them 30 seconds later. Receiving an unexpected check in the mail (that’s the exact amount needed to cover an overdue bill). We like to call these lovely experiences Good Universe Moments (GUMs, for short), and we’ve all had them, whether or not we took a moment to acknowledge how magical they are. To help you notice and interpret these moments, we’ve put together a list of eight common GUMs, along with their possible meanings and how to handle them. Click through to get the scoop!

 

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Violet Beauregarde Would Be Happy: Dinner Gumballs Are Here

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In “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory,” Violet Beauregarde met her sad end when she chewed a piece of Wonka’s Three-Course-Dinner Gum. The most amazing, sensational piece of gum in the world included tomato soup, roast beef and a baked potato. But it was the dessert course that went all wrong. The blueberry pie made the poor Violet turn violet and  blow up just like a blueberry. Archie McPhee’s TV Dinner Gumballs promise that the same thing won’t happen to you. Instead of one meal, the gumballs are divided into courses — roast beef, buttered corn and apple cobbler. If only Wonka had thought of that, Violet would still be chomping away. The dream is still alive for all of us gum addicts, Violet. Only $3.50 for a week’s supply. I may be switching to gum for dinner. [Laughing Squid]

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Made The World’s Largest Gumball Out Of ABC Nicorette

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Look at what we got here. This fine gentleman, 50-year-old Barry Chappell, has been collecting more than 95,000 pieces of already been chewed Nicorette gum for the last six years and fashioning them into one giant gumball. He keeps this 175 pound nicotine blob in his sauna, where the gum stays moist and supple for molding. He acknowledges that his gumball has become a bit of an obsession. I almost want to encourage Barry to take up smoking again. I believe TLC’s “My Strange Addiction” might have missed a compelling cast member. [Oddity Central]

Chew On This, Pervs

I’m assuming this only works on people who can’t chew gum and jerk off at the same time. [The Clearly Dope] Keep reading »

Willy Wonka Fantasy Gum About To Be A Reality!

Since I was a kid obsessed with “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” I’ve been fantasizing about Ever-Lasting Gobstoppers, Lickable Wallpaper, Wonkavision, and Three-Course-Dinner Gum. The Three-Course-Dinner Gum would have been the world’s most perfect invention in Wonka’s factory had it not turned Violet Beauregarde into a blueberry prompting her dad to scream, “Violet you’re turning violet, Violet!” Amazing news! This fantasy gum may actually become a reality thanks to the new technology that can capture time-release flavors in microscopic capsules. Keep reading »

Dentyne Says Practice Safe Breath, Not Safe Sex

So last night as I was wasting my time watching “The Price of Beauty,” I was beaten over the head with this new Dentyne Ice commercial during every single break. According to this advertisement, it’s the guy’s responsibility to provide protection against bad breath when the loving heats up. The concept might seem clever at first, but couldn’t the dude in the pharmacy have bought some condoms along with his gum? That way, there’d be some reference to the fact that gum doesn’t protect against STDs or unwanted pregnancy. What was even more arresting to me was that VH1 chose to run a commercial for Seasonique birth control pills directly after this Dentyne one, reminding women that the responsibility to prevent a pregnancy is all in their hands. Keep reading »

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