Men don’t have “guilty pleasures.” We own, nay, celebrate what’s bad for us. Our obsessions are points of pride, not shame. You’ll never see a guy wolf down a small mountain of waffles with a side of pig and squeal, “OMG, I can’t beliiiiieeeeve I ate everything! Tee! Hee!”

We will shamelessly sit in a nest of pizza crusts playing video games for endless hours. Unabashed tears will crawl out of the corners of eyes when the hometown team chokes at the last minute (tears so manly, of course, that they leave little craters in linoleum.) Beer will be quaffed, their caloric potency mocked. These are the things that make life worth living. That, and never ever getting bored of sly peeping springtime legs stretching out from under brand-new short skirts.

In a recession, people want escapism and a happy ending. The depressing economic situation has lead to an increase in sales of romance novels, while most other genres are having a difficult time selling at all. Harlequin Enterprises, the grande dame of the romance genre, reported a 32 percent increase in 2008 earnings during the fourth quarter, compared to a year earlier. Sales in the first quarter of 2009 also remained strong, said Harlequin’s chief executive. During the Great Depression, Gone With the Wind was a blockbuster book, and readers today are looking for a similar escape from the harsh reality of foreclosures, lay-offs, and rising prices. Romance novels not only provide a welcome happy ending, but they’re also cheap, which is a plus for anyone trying to limit their guilty pleasures spending. Most paperback novels sell for $7.99 or less, compared to larger trade paperbacks that cost $12 to $15. It’s not clear, however, how much it will cost your ego if you’re caught reading a sappy romance novel in public. [NY Times]

There are your garden variety guilty pleasures — like reality TV shows, Doritos, and the other ones listed in our poll last week — that most women have no trouble copping to, and then there are really guilty pleasures — things that feel so satisfying, we overlook their gross factor or lack social acceptance. After the jump, the top twelve guiltiest of all pleasures.

Times are tough and we know you’re cutting back. But everyone has their indulgences, the things that they just can’t help themselves from enjoying. What’s yours?