Happy Almost-Labor Day Weekend! It’s going to be a hot one, so eating ice cream is going to be an activity for a lot of people this weekend. Hopefully none of them have the grave misfortune of eating their ice cream 1) underneath a shitting bird and 2) with a loved one who is willing to sit back and laugh while they ingest its fecal droppings along with their scoop of vanilla. Because that’s what happened to this woman. I hope she smashed that cone in the camera guy’s face. [Gawker]
Today in terrifying parenting: on an upcoming episode of “Untold Stories of the ER,” we hear the tale of a Florida pageant mom who fed her teenage daughter tapeworm eggs to help her lose weight for an upcoming competition. When the girl arrived at the hospital with a bloated stomach and severe pain, the nurses first thought she might be pregnant. An ultrasound didn’t show a baby, but it did show a bizarre growth in her intestines, and a trip to the bathroom revealed a toilet bowl full of wriggly tapeworms. Nurse Maricar Cabral-Osorio told UPI, “some of the worms were very long and wiggling around trying to get out of the toilet bowl.” Gag! The girl’s mother turned white as a sheet. According to Cabral-Osorio, ”The mom was apologizing to the girl. It’s like ‘I’m so sorry. You know, I did it just to make you a little skinnier. You needed some help before we went on to the pageant.” The mom bought a pill of tapeworm eggs in Mexico and forced her to ingest it. The show’s over-the-top reenactment of the scene is actually pretty funny, but I can only hope that in real life the mother faced some kind of legal punishment for endangering her daughter. This is all kinds of screwed up and her parenting doesn’t sound safe for any kid. Excuse me while I vom. [Gawker, UPI] [Image via Shutterstock]
Now that I’ve reached the A-list in “Kim Kardashian’s Hollywood” — though I am still working my balls off and have a few more levels to go — I’m looking for another iPhone game to waste precious braincells on. And lo and behold, I think I’ve found one that appeals to my grossest instincts: Pimple Popper, the game that awards you points for “popping” a variety of different kinds of pimples. Each pimple type — blackheads, whiteheads, full blown pimples and pimple scabs — has a specific way it can be popped/peeled, oozes pus and makes a delightful sound. As you ascend the levels, the pimples become more plentiful, just like my face every day of junior high and high school! If you’re not ready to commit to the $1.99 price without popping a few pimples first, there’s a Lite version of the game that you can download for free. Happy popping! [Pimple Popper via Buzzfeed]
Public Service Announcement time: always remove your sex toy from your pussy. A woman in Scotland complaining of weight loss and incontinence had an icky surprise waiting for her at the doctor’s office: a sex toy abandoned in her vagina. As reported by The Journal Of Sexual Medicine, the sex toy (which was described as five-inches large, but otherwise not specified) poked into her bladder and caused a fistula and urinary blockages. Unpleasant! The lady admitted using the sex toy 10 years ago while drinking and couldn’t remember whether she removed it — obviously not. Perhaps after a night of boozing and sexing, it’s a good idea to do a roll call of your sex toys the next day. [Daily Mail UK via Gawker] [Images via Shutterstock and Daily Mail UK]
Last week, a man allegedly found a rusty nail in his to-go salad from a Manhattan restaurant named, appropriately, “Just Salad.” What is it about salads that attract this ickiness? It seems that every few weeks somebody finds some kind of critter or other not-so-salad-y item amid their lettuce, chickpeas and chopped tomatoes. Make sure you’re not eating while clicking through this gallery of the weirdest surprise ingredients people have found in their greens.
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