Atlanta “Housewife” NeNe Leakes and Orange County “Housewife” Gretchen Rossi faked a make-out sesh for the cameras. This is what I was talking about when I suggested a “Real Housewives” spoof last month. [Beverly Hills, CA, 9/22/09]

On “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” Gretchen Rossi played the part of resident gold digger. Squired around town by her way-older-than-her auto-exec fiancé Jeff Beitzel, Rossi cooed over the big diamonds that he bought her, but she made it clear to the other cast members that being included in his will didn’t matter to her. After Beitzel lost his battle with cancer, she declared that her late fiancé didn’t leave her “millions and millions of dollars.” As it turns out, though, he did. He left her $2.5 million, which I guess is a couple million and not “millions and millions.” (Or would those two “millions” make $2 million?) Supposedly, Beitzel’s five ex-wives are none too happy about missing out on Rossi’s share. Now, Rossi is dating slimy Slade Smiley. Shudder. [TMZ]

A few weeks ago, we told you “Real Housewives of Orange County” stars Gretchen Rossi and Slade Smiley were secretly hooking up. Well, now there’s photographic evidence. Slade and Gretchen are not only kissing in some of the shots, but he’s also checking out her butt while holding her at arms length. Gretchen, of course, seems to be acting her usual flirtatious self, showing off her tiny booty and veneered smile. And she’s wearing an engagement ring, which is probably the same one Jeff Beitzel gave her during season four because Slade has been having money troubles lately and probably couldn’t afford one. I can say one positive thing about this doomed affair: Her white bikini with black lace details is rather cute. [Dlisted]

“The Real Housewives of Orange County” star Gretchen Rossi will become a professional gold digger if she takes sugar daddy matchmaking site UpscaleDaddy.com up on its offer to become their celebrity spokeswoman. The site claims it “aims to bring together beautiful women and successful wealthy men for a mutually rewarding relationship.” Sounds like Rossi, who spent most of her first season on the show spending her dying fiance’s money, will be perfect for the position. Kevin Blatt, the man behind the site, who claims credit for turning Paris Hilton’s sex tape into an international phenomenon, says Rossi is the perfect candidate because she “has a thing for older men taking care of her.” If she accepts the job, she’ll get $100,000, a “Condo in Spain valued at $500,000.00 and a brand new $90,000.00 Mercedes.” Not so fast, though, Gretchen. There’s just one catch. First, she has to take a polygraph test to prove that she was “actually in love with Jeff and faithful to him” during the TV show’s taping. Sounds like Gretchen may well be SOL.

Elizabeth Hayt over at The Daily Beast describes Bravo’s “Real Housewives” franchise as a “post-feminist nightmare that preys on women’s shallowest, least-attractive qualities” in her article, “Wives Gone Wild.” But she, like the rest of America, can’t stop watching. Here’s why you should embrace your love of these women, even though they exhibit the worst of stereotypical feminine traits.

Dude, s**t went down on “The Real Housewives Of Orange County” reunion last night. That busy body Tamra called out Gretchen for supposedly having an affair with her ex-boyfriend while she was taking care of her sick (now deceased) fiance, Jeff. Something tells me that if it’s true, Jeff probably knew Gretchen had a little piece going on the side and was okay with it, since she was doing everything she could to make his final days comfortable and happy. I mean, I don’t think he was give her much action in the bedroom, considering he was in the hospital so much. But whatever, why is it any of Tamra’s business? She has totally had it out for Gretchen since day one, because Gretchen is younger and hotter and Tamra couldn’t stand being dethroned as the Hottest Housewife. Ugh. These people make me sick. In a good way.

Even though cameras have stopped taping, the drama surrounding the people of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” continues.

Slade Smiley, who was shacked up with Jo De La Rosa on previous seasons of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” and tried to help Jo find lasting love on “Date My Ex,” was arrested Friday for “civil contempt,” which usually means non-payment of court fees or child support. He may have been visiting Gretchen Rossi, who joined the cast of “Housewives” for season four, because Slade was picked up on the same block where Gretchen supposedly lives.

Last night’s episode of “The Real Housewives Of Orange County” was epic. Gretchen Rossi, the new bitch on the block (she’s the one with the Kenny Rogers lookalike for a fiance), got wasted, just wasted, at a dinner party and totally hit on Tamra’s son Ryan. Watching people get this trashed makes me kind of uncomfortable, in that I know I have been this drunk at points in my life and have probably been just as embarrassing to be around (though I have never, ever hit on anyone underage, I swear). Anyway, the episode ended with Gretchen and Ryan in the bathroom, potentially, maybe, about to get it on. Can’t wait for next week!

A New York Post TV critic has a real problem with the women on Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of Orange County.” But we think Linda Stasi, the critic, should cut these women some slack, especially Gretchen Rossi. After all, we really can’t expect much from these saline/silicon-inflated women. I’ll make my case, after the jump.