OMG! Spoiler alert, for those of you who have yet to review your DVR’d “Gossip Girl” from last night: this episode didn’t completely suck! I know, right? Amazing! Let’s dive right into it.
First up: did they or didn’t they? Meaning Blair and Nate, of course. Turns out they didn’t, although Blair has been bringing Nate breakfast at his manse on the windswept Upper East Side moors for the past week. Try telling that to Vanessa, though. After getting a friendly text from her estranged loverboy (or so she thinks!), Our Lady of Indeterminate Ethnicity catches sight of Blair leaving Nate’s abode before school one morning. Chuck rolls up in his limo and lets V know that it was in fact he, the dastardly Bassling, who sent the false text. For you see, Charles has been stalking Blair and is convinced that Nate has resumed sticking his Archibald in her Waldorf. Vanessa resists Chuckie’s attempt to draw her into his plans for revenge, but oh: the episode’s only just begun…. Keep reading »
At this point, I love “Gossip Girl” the way I once loved a certain young lad back in my high school days. It’s almost like reliving that entire romance, in fact. Though I loved the show once with a passion beyond compare, it no longer satisfies me. I talk trash about it behind its back. But at the same time, I just can’t let go, because the good parts (the soundtrack, Ed Westwick’s face) are still so good. On some level, I’m still in love.
With that in mind, let’s enter the spectacular zone of white privilege and excess that is this thrice-baked trifle of a guilty pleasure… Keep reading »
Speaking of leztastic publicity stunts — “Gossip Girl”‘s Blake Lively and Leighton Meester are on the cover of the new issue of Rolling Stone, sensually sharing an ice cream cone. Inside the magazine they also double-team a Twizzler and Meester gives her best blow job face (the rest of the cast is photographed as well). Obvi, photographer Terry Richardson’s intent was to be racy and suggestive and SCANDALOUS, but I can’t help but find it cheap and annoying. After all, if anyone was going to go gay, it would be Chuck and Nate, duh. Keep reading »
I have so many questions as I sit, rapt, through the intro to Monday’s night episode of “Gossip Girl”: Would Dan boink Ol’ Teachy McTeacherson again? Would Serena’s breasts push free of their restrictive corsetry and finally take over the entire screen with their golden magnificence? Would Chuck take his custom-made Saville Row pants off and dance for me and me alone? Keep reading »