Tag Archives: gordon ramsey

I Have Unlocked The Secret To Food Network Success: Bleached Blonde Hair

Have you been catching those commercials for the new Food Network show “Chef Wanted”? The show stars chef Anne Burrell as a Gordon Ramsey-esque totalitarian attempting to whip a bunch of amateur chefs into shape. Will we watch it? Maybe, because who doesn’t love watching a bunch of grown ass adults be belittled by someone? That’s a foundational element to reality TV. But in the meantime, I believe I’ve unlocked the keys to the Food Network Kingdom: Blonde spikey hair. Consider, if you will, Burrell, along with Supreme Yeller Gordon Ramsey and Fire-themed Clothing Fanatic Guy Fieri. Too much of a coincidence for my brain. Keep reading »

How Reality TV Is Like Dating In Your Twenties

“What is this? It looks like you’ve got a bikini wax here!” That was Gordon Ramsay being witheringly British to me, in front of other people. “Nothing puts you off like finding pubes on your plate.” He handed me the oily fennel fronds I had thrown down at the last minute as I stood in front of Ramsay, the restauranteur Joe Bastianich, and chef Graham Elliott, waiting to be judged. It felt like a really bad blind date.

I had just competed against six other entertainment journalists in a faux episode of “Master Chef,” in the show’s Los Angeles studio. It sounded like a decent way to spend a Tuesday evening, pretending to be on TV rather than watching it. It was staged just like a “Master Chef” episode. Eighteen minutes was not enough so I rushed to dismantle said fennel, put my scallops on top, and spoon an over-seasoned corn-and-mystery-berry relish on the side. Read more…

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