Tag Archives: gordon ramsay

Here Are The Gordon Ramsay Sex Tips We’ve All Been Waiting For (SFW)

This Needed To Happen
Here Are The Gordon Ramsay Sex Tips We've All Been Waiting For (SFW)
"Don't be afraid of the bottom."

Thank you to YouTube user 80gumdrops, for making this supercut of Gordon Ramsay cooking clips edited to sound like he’s giving sex tips.

Highlights include:

“Look for a robust broad…Flexible body, semi-firm breasts, bouncy. Then just lift up the skirt.”

“Three fingers. Almost treat your hand like a whisk. Push your fingers in there and it’s nice and moist and smelling very fragrant.”

“It smells like a fish. It’s strong and slightly sour, but it’s creamy and it’s packed with fucking grease.”

I’ve been wanting to write “Hell’s Kitchen” erotic fan fiction for a while, but I think I’m all set now on Gordon Ramsay dirty talk. [Buzzfeed]

They Can Just Stop Making Cooking Shows Now That “MasterChef Junior” Is On The Way

Winona's Cooking Tips
Learning to cook
Ami needs the kind of help in the kitchen that only Winona can provide. Read More »
Cooking Shows!
Ami's cooking show recommendations. Read More »
Gordon's Lessons
8 life lessons Ami learned from Gordon Ramsay. Read More »
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MasterChef Junior
"Whip like a man!"

Some programming geniuses at FOX cracked the code for the Holy Grail of food TV. “MasterChef Junior,” a spinoff of “MasterChef” but with kids, pretty much fulfills all of my cooking show hopes and dreams. Premiering on September 27th, the show will feature young culinary virtuosos ages 8 to 13. The young contestants will face the similar challenges to their adult chef counterparts — only Joe Bastianich, and Graham Elliot will mentor rather than judge them,  Gordon Ramsay will refrain from shaming and swearing at them (hopefully) and they’ll be sent home in pairs, so as to preserve their burgeoning egos.

Although Sarah, the adorable 9-year-old who boasts, “I have been cooking for 6 years, so I know what I’m talking about” and then is shown screaming, “Whip like a man!” to her fellow contestants, seems to be faring just fine. When she throws down the most perfect molten lava cake Graham Elliot has ever seen on the show, you know that her cockiness is warranted. I will live the rest of my life and never be able to make a dessert like that. And SHE’S 9! But can she beat Jack, the kid who can cook an immaculate, restaurant-style branzino? You guys. I can’t. [The Braiser]

We’re Breaking Up: Josh Marks, “MasterChef” Contestant Who Claimed His Soul Was Possessed By Gordon Ramsay

Gordon's Lessons
8 life lessons Ami learned from Gordon Ramsay. Read More »
Cooking Shows!
Ami's cooking show recommendations. Read More »
Hell's Kitchen
There's a lot to be learned on "Hell's Kitchen." Read More »

Dear Josh,

I know it’s been a hard year for you, since you came in second in last season on “MasterChef.”  Look, the truth was, no matter how perfect your dark chocolate soufflé was (and it was pretty damn perfect … Graham Elliot looked like he was mouth-fucking it), you never stood a chance of beating Christine Ha. A blind chef who cooks like an angel? Come on. Book deal gold. And you, just a 7′ 2″ college basketball player with a passion for food. It’s a good story, but not good enough, even though your final meal was better than Christine’s.

Josh, I know it’s been hard for you to accept your loss. I thought you were going through a hard time. I’ve noticed that you’ve been sullen and withdrawn, more erratic than ever. But clearly, I didn’t realize how bad things were. It was wrong of me not to force you to get help before it was too late. Keep reading »

7 Things I Learned From The Season Premiere Of “Hell’s Kitchen”

Gordon's Lessons
8 life lessons Ami learned from Gordon Ramsay. Read More »

Regular Frisky readers know that I have a weird obsession with watching cooking shows. I don’t know why. I don’t cook. No one in my family cooks. I like to eat, but I think most people in the world feel the same way. I think chefs are hot and sometimes I watch cooking shows to look for potential dates, but still, that doesn’t entirely explain my obsession. Put me in front of a cooking show, any cooking show, and you’ll find me transfixed.

Cooking show season is officially in full swing, which means I’ve cleared my schedule. At the moment I’m watching “Chopped,” “Master Chef,” and “Hell’s Kitchen.” I’ve also been recommended “Around The World In 80 Plates” and  “Food Network Star.” How many cooking shows can I watch at once without being considered crazy? I guess I’ll find out. The most epically trashy of the cooking show premieres was Season 10 of “Hell’s Kitchen” with my favorite chef sex object, Gordon Ramsay. Someday I plan to write “Hell’s Kitchen” erotic fan fiction with Gordon as the dom. It would just be too easy. Anyway, I’m getting off topic. Here are the important things I learned from the episode (spoilers ahead!)… Keep reading »

8 Life Lessons I Learned From Gordon Ramsay

In the last few months, I’ve fallen down a Gordon Ramsay rabbit hole — meaning all my of my television watching revolves around him. There’s “Hell’s Kitchen,” “Master Chef,” “Kitchen Nightmares” (the US and UK version), and “Ramsay’s Next Best Restaurant.” Seek Gordon Ramsay shows and ye shall find. Initially, I watched because I wanted to learn how to cook (also, I find him oddly erotic); what I learned instead was how to live. After the jump, some important life lessons from Gordon Ramsay. Keep reading »

What Do Gordon Ramsay, A Porn Star Dwarf & A Badger Have In Common?

Let’s untangle this incomprehensible headline together — word by word. First off, I should tell you that Gordon Ramsay has nothing to do with this story. It’s actually about Percy Foster, the little person Gordon Ramsay look-a-like who starred in such X-rated films as “Hi Ho Hi-Ho, It’s Up Your Arse We Go.” Okay, now here comes the gory part. Percy’s body was discovered in a badger’s den, partially eaten by the creatures. Well … I’m speechless. [Radar] Keep reading »

A Real-Life Kitchen Nightmare

Joseph Cerniglia, a 39-year-old chef and restaurant owner, was found floating in the Hudson River on Friday after he took his life by jumping off the George Washington Bridge. His New Jersey restaurant, Campagnia, was featured on an episode of Gordon Ramsay’s “Kitchen Nightmares” back in 2007. Keep reading »

The Straight Guy Index: Ten Types Of Hetero Lovers

Yesterday, we delineated the celebrity lesbian personalities, from LUGs to Toppers, that create the broader Venn diagram of the womanly community. Since we love our readers, especially their comments, we decided to take reader “Lilo” up on her challenge to break down the different types of straight males. So, here’s to all the men we’ve loved before….

Keep reading »

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