“Start in a hot, dry room and then move into an even warmer steam room. Then splash yourself with cold water (or even dunk in cold pool or under a cold shower). Follow it with a full body scrubdown, which is typically followed by a massage. At the end you’ll be sent to a cool room to relax and cool down.”
Still nursing a New Year’s hangover? This is how Gwyneth Paltrow suggests you get rid of it. I think I’ve turned a corner in my Gwyneth loathing where I’m actually amused by her unapologetic ignorance to the fact that not everyone lives like she does. You know, with instant access to a sauna, steam room, cold pool, body scrub-ologist (I just made that up but I bet Gwyneth has one in a closet somewhere), and masseuse after a particularly rough night guzzling Dom Perignon. [GOOP]
“Any time you do anything with any degree of sincerity, people make fun of you. That’s totally fine. I don’t care. I don’t read any of it. My thing with Goop has always been, if you don’t like it, then don’t log onto it. There were a couple of times when I thought, ‘I’m just gonna stop doing it. People are so mean to me. I don’t want to do it.’ But then I was like, ‘Who cares what some lame person out there says?’ I was in Italy once, and this old man came up to me and said, ‘I had the best time in Nashville because of Goop.’ And that is so worth it to me.”
– Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t care about the haters, really she doesn’t! Look, I’m definitely one of the many people who, I suppose, is “mean” to Gwyneth. I like to think of it as tough criticism and underneath all the snark, there’s some valid criticism that I think it would behoove Paltrow to listen to. So, yes, it’s kind of mean to say that her Goop newsletter makes GP seem like a snotty, out-of-touch twat, but perhaps if I put it in kinder language, she’ll listen. Ahem… Keep reading »
For every step forward Gwyneth Paltrow makes in her attempt to improve her image, she takes two steps back. Though I was warming up to ol’ Goopie again, after that adorable and funny guest appearance on “Glee,” I am back to full GP attack mode thanks to her latest GOOP newsletter. I skipped last week’s GOOP once I realized it was just another endorsement of a cleanse that makes you s**t your brains out, but this week I was enticed to click with the promise of “a day in the life of real working moms.” I’m not a mom, but I want to be and that work/life/parenting balance is of interest to me. Who would these real working moms be? How varied would their advice and routines be? Sigh. I should have known better. GOOP showed me a day in the life of, ahem, a venture capitalist Gwynnie met, bestie Stella McCartney, and Gwyneth herself. Girl couldn’t trot out a poor or even a middle class mom? I know she’s got a cleaning lady! Keep reading »
is sick of Gwyneth Paltrow
having all the fun. That is to say, she wants to tell women how to live their lives better too, so she started her own lifestyle site: GetHatched
. Unlike Gwynnie’s GOOP
, Teri’s site doesn’t advocate slurping kale juice and spinach soup or staying at the most expensive hotels while vacationing in Morocco; her angle is all about balancing life as a busy mom. “GetHatched is about finding your way to the ME part without getting lost along the way. My desire is to be able to reach women, lots of women, and supply just the right boost they might need on any given day,” says Hatcher. So, how does she provide that boost? Well, if this video is any indication, she does it through sex talk. And sleep talk. And discussing with regular non-celeb moms how their men can get them in the mood by cleaning up around the house and making sure the kids get off to school OK. I guess this is kinda like porn for the busy middle-class mom? I don’t know; did the world need really need another celeb telling normal people how to live their lives better? [via Huffington Post
] Keep reading »
What’s this I see? Gwyneth Paltrow
is taking GOOP
in 3-D to a YouTube channel. Check out the video above of her making bibimbop. It’s kind of the most boring cooking show ever, no? So far, there are only two vids on the channel, but I’m sure Gwyns will post many more soon. Maybe she’ll videotape how to do a proper colonic?
Speaking of Gwyneth, we are way amused by Daily Beast writer Rebecca Dana, who studiously followed the way of the GOOP for three weeks and lived to tell the tale. Keep reading »
Another day, another Gwyneth Paltrow GOOP edition chock-full of sage advice. This time she addresses the beauty realm, and here’s a synopsis of the tips: Make a body scrub by mixing Turbinado (that’s sugar that comes from the first pressing of the sugar cane), olive oil and coarsely ground coffee, the latter of which Miss Paltrow does not, repeat, does not ever drink. Soften skin with oatmeal and honey before rubbing it with aloe vera juice to reduce redness, and reduce puffy morning eyes by placing chilled spoons over your lids or use cotton pads soaked in cold milk. Prevent wrinkles by doing daily facial exercises like sticking your tongue out as far as you can while keeping your eyes wide for 30 seconds. Apply a boatload of coconut oil after a bath to goop up your skin, which we can assure you is the story behind her seriously oily legs on “Letterman” recently.
Okay, Goopy, let’s talk. Keep reading »
This morning, I awoke to find the first installment of The Zoe Report in my inbox. What a way to start the day! Celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe won us over with her reality show, “The Rachel Zoe Project,” but can another email newsletter succeed? Or will she become another Gwyneth Paltrow and The Zoe Report mere GOOP? After the jump, we dissect TZR’s inaugural email. Keep reading »
Overzealous health insani-turd Gwyneth Paltrow is detoxing yet again. In January, she wrote, “I like to do fasts and detoxes a couple of times during the year.” Well, this sure is proving true. She’s just finishing up a three-week stint on Dr. Alejandro Junger’s Clean program, which she describes and advocates in the latest GOOP newsletter. We can get behind the part of this plan where she got lots of massages and clocked a bunch of hours in the sauna. But giving up caffeine, dairy, and all processed foods—not so sure about that. And we’re seriously opposed to the part of this program that lets you have two liquid “meals” per day with only one meal of actual food in between. She seems pretty happy with the results. “I dropped the extra pounds that I had gained during a majorly [sic] fun and delicious ‘relax and enjoy life phase’ about a month ago,” she said. Doesn’t it seem like every time this stick thin actress puts something remotely food-like in her mouth she goes all detoxorexic? “Enjoy life phase”—that’s just called being a normal person, Goopy. [GOOP via People] Keep reading »
I usually find the “MAKE” editions of GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow’s newsletter that attempts to “nourish the inner aspect,” the most tolerable. They’re recipes and how offensive and annoying can food really be? This week, Gwyneth introduces us to the cookie and treat recipes from some of her friends, including Evi, a Holocaust survivor, and Katie Lee Joel. Of the latter, Gwyneth writes:
“The summer before last, a mutual friend brought the lovely Katie Lee Joel and her husband William over for dinner. Much to my delight, she brought a fresh batch of these cookies with her.”
Wait. Hold up. “Her husband William?” Don’t you mean Billy? As in, BILLY JOEL? Is this Gwyneth’s attempt at not namedropping? Because that would be effing stupid, considering GOOP is one big celebrity snog fest. Seriously, what a pretentious twat.
Oh also, big old error in the last bit of this week’s newsletter. See above — guess someone forget to include the copy for next week’s preview, and Gwyneth, ever the diligent editor, didn’t notice it was missing either. Oopsies! What will William and his lovely wife Katherine say? [GOOP] Keep reading »
Gwynnie was on “The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien” last night and in the first part of her interview, she had a mysterious shiny substance slathered all over her legs. I suspect it was some sort of body oil, not lotion as some bloggers have suggested. Anyway, the studio lights were probably reflecting so badly off her stems and blinding people in the audience, so before the second part of her interview, someone wiped her down. Check out the video of her interview, after the jump… [via SoupSoup] Keep reading »