Tag Archives: goop

Gather Round Children, And Let Gwyneth Paltrow School You On Punk

GP Hated The Met Ball
And she doesn't care who knows it! Read More »
Reason 4567 To Hate GOOP
In the event that you need yet another. Read More »
Gwyneth Paltrow Met Ball

Many people don’t know this, but there was a time, in between filming “Shakespeare in Love” and “Sliding Doors,” that patron saint of GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow, was in a punk band. They were called Cockjuice, and they played all the clubs on the punk circuit, amassing violent and excited crowds at ABC No Rio and squats around Europe. Gwyneth gained quite a reputation as an outspoken proponent of socialism — calling on Americans to take the streets to protest late ’90s Clinton-era fascist American policies, and the inheritance tax. She was known as an inveterate rabble-rouser and sometimes-drunk, whose pre-show routine always included at least a fifth of bourbon and a punch or two in the greenroom wall.

For several months, Cockjuice rode high on the fumes of DIY success. But then, one day, Gwyneth had a soul-searching revelation: acting and giving diet advice was where she was really needed. So she gave it all up — the shows, the glory, the post-show drunken fistfights — and settled down with the singer of Coldplay. Keep reading »

Gwyneth Paltrow Blasted For Selling Little Girls’ Bikinis Over GOOP

gwyneth paltrow kids bikinis

To tell you the truth, I don’t really give a shit that Gwyneth Paltrow is selling bikinis for little girls through her website, GOOP. Gwyneth Paltrow is also the person who suggested your spring wardrobe could use a $1,615 black skirt. She’s not really the arbiter of sensibility or good taste, no matter how many thousand-dollar clothing items she convinces you that you just have to have. The bikini in question is a $45 miniature version for girls (pictured at right) that matches an adult design, all of which were created by designer Melissa Obadash for GOOP. I do think that bikinis are too grown up for five-year-olds; I also think that this battle against the sexualization of young girls has already been lost. Bikinis for little girls aren’t going to go anywhere.  I wouldn’t buy a bikini for my own hypothetical kid because I just think one-pieces are more appropriate, but Gwynnie and her GOOPies can do what they want — and expect the rest of us to laugh at them. [Styleite, Daily Mail UK]

GOOP Nail Polish
GOOP butter nail polish
Gwyneth Paltrow designed GOOP nail polish for Butter London. Read More »
Bikini Baby
maxwell baby jessica simpson bikini
Jessica Simpson's daughter is wearing a bikini. So what? Read More »
Style Stealer: GOOP
Get these crazy cute, and crazy-'spensive, outfits on a budget! Read More »

Style Stealer: 3 Of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Spring Outfits For GOOP On A Budget

Reason 4567 To Hate GOOP
In the event that you need yet another. Read More »

One of the regular features in Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP newsletter is her seasonal wardrobe recommendations, sold via Net-A-Porter. The looks are generally pretty cute, as GP does have great style, but they are also majorly, majorly pricey. So, because I think it is ridiculous to spend $1,615 on a goddamn black skirt, I decided to steal some of Gwyneth Paltrow’s spring outfits but at a fraction of the cost. Take that, GOOPY! Check ‘em out, after the jump… Keep reading »

Apparently Gwyneth Paltrow Has Seven Sides And “Rock” Is One Of Them

Ugh, Gwyneth Raps
So much second-hand embarrassment here. Read More »
Reason 4567 To Hate GOOP
In the event that you need yet another. Read More »
Gwyneth's Cookbook
Behold, a dramatic reading of Gwyneth Paltrow's cookbook. Read More »

Here are just a few of the many reasons I wake up every day pissed off that I’m not Margot Tenenbaum: child prodigy, award-winning author and playwright, perfect bob and the face to pull it off, mink coat, wooden finger, cold, haughty aloofness, perfect eyeliner application, marriage to Raleigh St. Clair, verboten romance with hot brother Richie, affair with Eli Cash. She is my dream girl insofar as in my dreams, I am her. But you know who I think is super, super lame? Like, the lamest? Gwyneth Paltrow! She is cripplingly lame. I can’t even reconcile her acting ability with her actual existence because I’m just like, oh my god, Goop, put your Margot clothes back on already for Christ’s sake. Keep reading »

Gwyneth Paltrow Designs GOOP Nail Polish For Butter London

Top Polish Picks For Fall
Our top 10 nail polish picks for fall 2012. Read More »
Manicure Covers
Serial manicure ruiners can now buy plaster covers for their fingernails. Read More »
My Inner Monologue
... for every at-home manicure I've ever botched. Read More »
GOOP butter nail polish

Another day, another way Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP-y GOOP-dom is GOOPing into your life. Now she’s got herself a line of GOOP-inspired Butter London nail polishes. Keep reading »

Found: The Official Gwyneth Paltrow BFF Job Application

Love It Or Leave It: Gwyneth
Do you like her crazy cutout dress? Read More »
Gwyneth's Cookbook
Behold, a dramatic reading of Gwyneth Paltrow's cookbook. Read More »

It seems that Gwyneth Paltrow’s new BFF is Cameron Diaz. The two have recorded a painfully awkward rap video for Chelsea Lately and were recently spotted at dinner together. If the two are indeed as chummy as they seem, then Cam is the latest in a long line of rich, beautiful Hollywood A-Listers like Madonna, Beyonce, Winona Ryder, and Kate Hudson who have previously held the coveted title of Gwynnie’s BFF. So, how does one become BFF to an Academy Award-winning lifestyle guru? Well, obviously, the first step is to fill out an application…

Keep reading »

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