Tag Archives: goats

Goats In Lust: They’re Just Like Us!

Goats In Lust: They're Just Like Us!

We’d all like to think we’ve evolved way past our animal antecedents, having transcended the baser survival instincts that propelled us from the primordial ooze to this moment. These very instincts have been variously invoked by relationship experts, who will one day have us believing that we’re not that different from our mammalian brethren and the next consoling us with the alleged ocean that exists between our higher selves and our need-driven beast counterparts.

All that stuff about how men can’t be expected to be faithful because they’re programmed to spread their seed much like our ape ancestors did … I mean who the fuck knows? Seems like a pretty convenient theory that leaves out a lot of female agency.  I’m hardly an expert in matters of love, human evolution or animal psychology, but I did recently begin a new career in goat husbandry, and if my weeks inside a barn witnessing the aforementioned ruminants breed is any indication, we’re really not so far off from our quadripedular (not a word but it stays) friends. Here are some things that I found eerily familiar in simultaneously distressing and comforting ways. Being that I’m totally objective and trained in these matters, I will say authoritatively that these observations basically reaffirmed my suspicion that dudes are by and large totally addled idiots when fueled by lust, and that sex makes bitches act cray. Highly scientific stuff. I’m probably going to be awarded an honorary degree from somewhere any minute. Keep reading »

This Baby Goat Trying To Balance On A Chair Is My New Motivation For The Week

Goat Jumps On Chair
So Determined!
OMG! Goat GIFs!!
Baby goat gifs
10 reasons I'm totally obsessed with goats. Read More »

If you feel like you’re staring up a giant mountain of endless to-dos this week, try to draw some inspiration from Dynamo the goat. This guy is determined to stay balanced on this inflatable chair, and if he can be so persistent about his goals, you can definitely get through your Monday. [Daily Dot]

Thank God This Exists: Goats Singing The “Jurassic Park” Theme

Jurassic Park Theme Sung By Goats
The Internet Finds A Way
Screaming Goat Videos
The 10 best goat music videos, from Celine to Jay-Z! Read More »

Today is my last day at The Frisky. This morning I told the rest of the staff that I wanted to write one story about Nickelback, one story about goats, and one story about Celine Dion today, because those are my main beats/life passions and it seemed fitting to bookend my time here with that trifecta. I’d just finished writing my Nickelback story when this link popped up in my Facebook feed: A VIDEO OF GOATS SINGING THE JURASSIC PARK THEME. Not to brag, but I’m pretty sure I manifested this, especially because “Jurassic Park” is, like, my 6th favorite movie of all time. I’m going to listen to it on repeat while I manifest some crazy breaking news about Celine Dion. [Jezebel]

What’s The Difference Between A Horse And A Playground? Nothing, If You’re A Baby Goat

Goats Jumping On A Horse!
Let's all jump on the horse!

Reason #4,582 I need a baby goat (or a hundred baby goats, ideally) ASAP: through the eyes of a baby goat, everything is a piece of playground equipment. Even, for example, a very large horse that is trying to take a nap. And isn’t that a great way to look at the world? [Time]

Life Dream Status: Goat Cafes Are Becoming A Thing

Goat Cafe
Fact: Goats Make The Best Dining Companions

You’ve surely heard of cat cafes, where patrons can have a coffee and a bagel while snuggling a furry kitty, but a new kind of animal dining experience may be sweeping the globe soon, one that I’m WAY more excited about: goat cafes. The trend is starting, as so many weird/wonderful dining trends do, in Japan, where Sakuragaoka Cafe has been letting patrons mingle with their two in-house goats for the past few years. The goats have been a huge hit with customers, who come in droves to pet them and bring them treats. Hear that, American restaurateurs? Goat cafes are a thriving business! Let’s make them happen here ASAP, yeah? Even if other people are grossed out by the idea of eating alongside barnyard animals, I will single-handedly keep the venture afloat. Table for 12, please! (That would be me and 11 goats, obvi.) [Modern Farmer]

Here Is A Video Of A Fly Going Up A Baby Goat’s Nose

Goat With Fly In Its Nose
Get It Out! Get It Out!

One time, back in college, I was reading a very serious passage of a personal essay to a very serious writing workshop group, and a tiny fly flew up my nose mid-sentence. I started huffing and sneezing furiously before yelling, “I think I feel it crawling into my brain!” and running out of the classroom in a panic. Basically, what I’m saying is…I know exactly how this goat feels. [Laughing Squid]

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