Madonna has returned! The Material Girl has laid low for a few years, but the new video for her song “Give Me All Your Luvin’” proves that 30+ years after rising to fame, she still somehow looks, sounds, and even moves like no time has passed. That’s the extent to which I will allow myself to compliment the pop star’s recent musical debut.
I shouldn’t “hate” on someone who was just resurrected from the grave, but after watching the video, I am tempted to believe that Madonna may actually be a zombie trying to turn me by way of music video zombification. I was literally stuck in a trance-like, brain-dead state after exposing my senses to the neuron-murdering chant: “L-U-V Madonna, Y-O-U, you wanna” compounded by the confused high school football-themed visual diarrhea. Keep reading »