This piece first appeared on Eyelid’s LiveJournal and has been reprinted with her permission. You can read some clarifying background info here.
So uh, don’t freak out, but I was pregnant and had to have an abortion last weekend.
Yes, yes I know, my uterus is ruled by Murphy’s Law. Patrick and I both thought it was pretty funny, in that “oh, life” way, when it occurred to me a few days after I missed my period why I wasn’t bleeding.
Being first-trimester crazy (I have fits of horrific rage, I get depressed, I can’t sleep, I can’t concentrate) has made everything more difficult these last couple weeks. Having an abortion is really not that big of a deal, but it would be even less of a deal if one were not suffering from overhormones when it’s all going down.
I didn’t really waffle at all on it. Patrick and I are both exhausted. When we are at home dealing with the kids, someone constantly needs something (or many people need things at once), and then there’s cleaning up after four kids, etc. We already should do more for our kids than we do. There is no way we can deal with another pregnancy or baby on top of one-year-old twins, two older children, work, and life. I could feel Patrick’s terror at the thought; he’s already on his last nerve. It would also be very difficult to afford. and where would we put another baby? Keep reading »
In this piece, reprinted with permission from Role/Reboot, Lynn Beisner explains the difference between the two phrases “The best choice for both my mother and me would have been abortion” and “I wish I had never been born.”
If there is one thing that anti-choice activists do that makes me see red, it is when they parade out their poster children: men, women, and children who were “targeted for abortion.” They tell us “these people would not be alive today if abortion had been legal or if their mothers had made a different choice.”
In the past couple of months, I have read two of these abortion deliverance stories that have been particularly offensive. The first story is one propagated by Rebecca Kiessling, the poster child for the no exceptions in cases of rape or incest. On her website Kiessling says that every time we say that abortion should be allowed at least in the case of rape or incest we are saying to her: “If I had my way, you’d be dead right now.” She goes onto say, “I absolutely would have been aborted if it had been legal in Michigan when I was an unborn child, and I can tell you that it hurts [when people say that abortion should be legal.]” Keep reading »
We’d like to believe that the best way to break up with a person is to sit down with them face-to-face and have an honest, open discussion about why you feel the relationship should no longer continue. After a calm, mature discussion, you will both come to the amicable conclusion that the relationship isn’t working for either of you. You’ll share a friendly hug, and part ways saying, “I’m so glad we’re still friends.”
Can someone tell me on what planet this actually happens? I’d like to go there. It sounds tranquil and civilized. Keep reading »
After a four year hiatus from online dating, for a number of reasons, I was ready to give it a shot again. The most important being: I think you get out of things what you put into them, and my love life … well, let’s just say my effort level has been minimal at best. The last online date I went on –four years ago — ended with me running. Literally. I had to run from the restaurant after the guy told me he was under federal investigation and thought that it was a woman’s job to change diapers. So you can imagine how anxious I was to venture into the virtual dating world again.
I was beyond relieved when I saw T* sitting there at the wine bar, looking better than he did in his online profile. I exhaled as I took in his nerdy glasses, his nice smile. I was excited when I found out that we actually had stuff to talk about –our similar career paths, our love of The Smiths. I was thrilled when we made plans to go on a bike ride for our second date. I had recently gotten a bicycle and was looking forward to riding it.
This was going better than I ever could have hoped. Online dating … onward ho! Keep reading »
This piece by Jessie Lochrie was originally published on xoJane.com.
I can count the number of times I’ve had sex without condoms on one hand. This isn’t to brag about how I’m some model of safe sex — it’s because with the exception of a brief, two-week period, I have never been on birth control.
I’m not sure if I ever really made an active decision not to go on birth control. When I lost my virginity to my long-term high school boyfriend, we used those lubricated Trojans in the turquoise pack that so many people seem to use as My Very First Condom.
My reluctance to go on the Pill did partially stem from a teenager’s nervousness about telling my parents I was sexually active, though I always could have gone to Planned Parenthood (or my family doctor) and gone on birth control without them knowing. The real reason I avoided birth control was a gut feeling that I wouldn’t respond well to hormones. Keep reading »
“He smokes, which I find gross, but he’s planning to quit soon,” I complained to my roommate about Jason, the guy I’d been dating for about a month. “And did I tell you he doesn’t eat dinner? As in, he has no desire to eat past lunchtime. Weird, right? And he owns seersucker shorts – baby blue seersucker.”
“So do you actually like him?” she responded, sounding doubtful.
“Yeah, I mean, he’s cool and I like hanging out with him, so it’s whatever,” I replied.
She looked at me for a moment, forehead scrunched, then shrugged. “Well you’ve only told me stuff about him that you don’t like, so I really can’t tell.” Keep reading »
About a year ago, the ad agency I worked for let me go and while I looked for another job in advertising, I started babysitting to pay the bills. It was somewhat surprising to me how much I liked working as a babysitter: the hours are flexible, the pay is under the table, and you get to tell your co-workers what to do. However, things took an unexpected turn when June arrived and summer vacations began. I had assumed that with the kids being out of school my hours would increase. I was dead wrong; all my babysitting jobs dried up and I began to get desperate. Like, pricing-out-valuables desperate.
I get all of my babysitting gigs from a very well-respected site (that will go unnamed here). I began trolling the website multiple times a day and applying to everything in a 15 mile radius. “Looking for a nanny with infant experience” — hey, I was an infant once! “Must be fluent in Spanish” — dame trabajo ahora! “Must have your own car” — I could probably dig up a vehicle somewhere!
I was frantic, until one day I saw an ad for a nanny position posted by a woman named “Santina.” Keep reading »
If you were to ask me about my favorite season, fashion-wise, I would always say fall. I would tell you how much I love the deep colors, the sumptuous layers, and the rich textures of wool, leather, and tweed. I love getting dressed up in glamorous coats and take-no-prisoners knee-high boots. I love seeing the new trends come down the runways. There is one thing I love about fall clothes, though, that I might not tell you: I love that they cover me up. Keep reading »