Tag Archives: girl talk

Girl Talk: Are Wedding Gifts Optional?

Wedding Week 2013
Wedding season is here once again! Read More »
Wedding "Disasters"
worried bride
These things might happen -- but don't worry, you'll survive. Read More »
Are wedding gifts necessary?

After our wedding, when my husband and I finally got around to opening our gifts and noting who gave what for our thank you cards, we became concerned that a bunch of our wedding gifts might have been stolen. About a third of the 150 guests who attended our wedding did not appear to have given a gift — that seemed a little odd. However, I was aware that wedding etiquette says that you have up to a year after a wedding to give a gift, so I didn’t put too much worry into it. After our wedding, a number of friends and family members contacted us with questions like, “Where are you registered?” and “What is your mailing address?” I answered all their inquiries, but strangely never received gifts of any sort from any of the people who asked. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: On Being Called “Tiny”

GT: No Scale
scale
The case for stepping off the scale. Read More »
Zoe Saldana's Weight
Zoe Saldana on Allure
Allure posted Zoe Saldana's weight on the cover. Read More »
Too Thin
Some sad things that happened when one woman got too thin. Read More »
Girl Talk: my Doctor Called Me Tiny

Sitting in the sports medicine clinic’s waiting room, I poked at my knee and winced, hoping that the doctor would be able to fix my troubled joints so I could run my first road race the following month. Half an hour later, I had my answer: my biomechanics were off, I suffered from the common patella-femoral syndrome, but with physiotherapy and diligence, I’d still be able to run. An acceptable prognosis, so I smiled. I liked the doctor; how she paid attention to my grimaces as she prodded my leg, and explained all the anatomical terms to me as she discussed my diagnosis with the observing resident. And then it happened.

“Could you turn onto your side, Sara?” the doctor asked as I lay on the examination table.

I obediently flipped over.

“No, a little closer to me.”

I shuffled backwards, mumbling apologies.

“It’s not a big deal,” she smiled. “You’re so tiny.” Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Finding My Birth Parents

GT: Adoption
This woman placed her son up for adoption. Read More »
Elton John Adopts
Elton John and his partner have adopted a baby boy! Read More »

I was 12 when I found out. My stepsister hurled it at me during a fight: “At least I’m not adopted,” she retorted after I called her a four-eyed idiot. My real mother died when I was six, and the fact that I now had a stepmother didn’t mean I was adopted.

“You really are a blockhead,” I laughed “if you think I’m going to fall for that one.”

However, I soon learned the four-eyed idiot was right. I was indeed adopted. I had been given up as an infant. And worse, no one had ever told me.

“I thought your mother told you,” my father responded when I asked him if it was true.

The news left me feeling vulnerable and reminded me of a time when I was four, shopping with my mother at JC Penney’s. She was looking for a dress.I ducked under a waterfall of polka dots and paisleys and hid in the center of the circular rack – only to become frightened and reemerged, grabbing on to the familiarity of my mother’s legs — except they weren’t her legs; they were the legs of a stranger, but for a few seconds I was betrayed by a false sense of reality.  Here I was again, hugging onto the legs of a stranger—completely unaware —  and deceived for nearly 12 years by the same false sense of reality. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Marriage Freaks Me Out

I Hate Weddings
Here are a bunch of reasons why. Read More »
Marriage Pressure
She feels pressured to either get married or break up. Read More »
Why Marriage Freaks Me Out

My parents got divorced when I was almost too young to remember. I carry only brief images of the time surrounding their divorce. My mother, in a red dress with polka dots, kneeling down to meet me at my level as I squirm in a chair, legs swinging above the floor. “I’m going away for a little bit,” she says. “I’ll see you soon.” Our new house in New York is full of books and my grandma is there and my father stretches the phone cord taut so he can sit on the steps to the basement and argue with my mother in California, 3000 miles away.

The details of the event were unusual for the late 1980s. The court granted primary custody to my father — we’d spend summers in California and live in New York for the school year. My primary memory of family growing up is as a unit of three — father, sister, me. Our trio was strong, it was unshakeable, and my sister and I adapted to an early independence. We did our own laundry, heated up our Kid Cuisine dinners in the microwave while our father worked late and made annual trips to the West Coast every summer to visit our mom. Our household was just as functional as that of any two-parent household. We trotted off to school each morning with combed hair, brushed teeth and all of our belongings.

I grew up into a independent, self-sufficient and confident adult, a woman who would much rather do it myself than wait on someone else to understand what needs to be done, a woman who is okay with the idea of potentially spending a life not married — not because no one would have me, but because I like it that way. Alone. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Did Everything Wrong, But Still Found Love

I Found A BF Online
love photo
How I found a boyfriend online dating. Yes, it really happens! Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Nothing
Ami makes a case for doing nothing when it comes to meeting someone. Read More »
First Date Mistakes
Here are 10 ways NOT to make a good impression. Read More »
Girl Talk: I Did Everything Wrong, But Still Found Love

While many people start online dating to meet people, I joined OKCupid because I knew far too many already. This may sound cold, but I wanted to meet guys outside of my social circle who were more … expendable. If a date or few went badly, I didn’t want to bump awkwardly into these guys at a party. At that time, I didn’t take dating especially seriously. I was bored and I thought of it as an amusing diversion. Maybe I would have been more cautious if I had been more invested, but I wasn’t.

Online, most daters try to present the best possible versions of themselves in their profile. Supposedly, this is the only way to get dates. Instead, I tried to present a more accurate picture. I had a few photos of me all dressed up, but being a makeup artist, that felt a bit unfair, so I included some regular candid shots with my usual BB cream and lip balm. I didn’t want my dates to be disappointed when I didn’t put that much effort in to meet them for coffee. On the older version of OKC, you got to describe yourself in three words and I always made sure one of them was “neurotic.” Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Bisexuality, Straight Privilege, And A Place At The Table

Be Sex Positive!
Eight ways to be positive you're sex positive. Read More »
I'm Bisexual
Carrie is out and proud about being attracted to both genders. Read More »
First Time: Girl Hookup
bisexual
Jessica writes about her first hookup with a girl. Read More »
bisexuality

Sometimes, I have a hard time talking about being bisexual.

Part of the difficulty is label itself: bisexual. As soon as it’s said out loud, or implied with the abbreviation bi, lady sex pops into peoples’ minds and all of a sudden things get X-rated. The mere mention of bi conjures images of co-eds kissing and dancing on bars for male attention. Or, it incites the delightful fallacy that bi-folk are lying to themselves about their sexuality.

So, if labeling myself bi creates a feeling of ick, then why not call myself something else?

I’ve thought about latching onto other labels: flexible, fluid, queer, open? Why not just call myself straight when I’m with a man and gay when I’m getting my lez on? Why a label at all? Keep reading »

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