• girl talk

Girl Talk: My Awkward Sober Sex Life

I'm A Sex Addict
A female sex addict in recovery shares her story. Read More »
I Act Like I'm In Recovery
She's not a recovering alcoholic, but she acts like one. Read More »
My Strange Addictions
One writer thought her addictions were strange until she saw "My Strange Addiction." Read More »

This is how it begins. He asks me to stand before him in my lace underwear, high heels, hose and bra. He sits in a chair and watches closely as I disrobe, making approving noises, even winking to put me at ease.

“Turn around please,” he says and then, “Yes, right there. Stop there.”

Even though we’ve been married for over three years, I’ve never done anything like this sober. I don’t know what to do, or where to put my hands. Without the buzz and fog of alcohol, I am clumsy and giggly and awkward. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Assorted Thoughts On Losing My Engagement Ring

Why I Got Married Young
To me, 24 seemed like the perfect age. Read More »
Engaged Without A Ring
hitched photo
Andrea's engagement didn't involve a giant rock. Read More »
Marriage Pressure
She feels pressured to either get married or break up. Read More »

I lost my engagement ring. I mean, really lost it. I haven’t seen it in a month, maybe more. I wish I was a robot and I could check my memory chip and replay all of my thoughts and actions, because then I would know exactly what happened, and I would also experience those amazing tortillas we got all over again. But maybe robots don’t like melted cheese as much as I do?

Focus.

I looked under everything with a flashlight. My dad blamed the cat, but she maintains her innocence. I looked under everything again, with a different flashlight that seemed a little brighter. It was gross under everything and I didn’t want to reach in there, but I’m pretty sure there was no ring.

And I’m probably not supposed to say this, but I don’t miss it. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Yep, I’m A Fat Yoga Teacher

Bikram Yoga Love
Bikram yoga is turning me into one of those women. Read More »
Amelia Does Yoga
Watch Amelia tackle anti-gravity yoga. Watch »
Weight Talk
One writer is sick of talking to women about weight. Read More »

It usually starts with widened eyes and a slight lift of the eyebrows.

As I walk over to greet a new student, they slowly stick out their hand to meet mine. “Hi, I’m Anna. I’m so glad you’re here!”

“Hi,” they say back. “You’re the … teacher?” Keep reading »

Girl Talk: How I Staged A Pinterest Stalking Intervention

If Pinterest Was Real
A cautionary poem. Read More »
Pinterest & Feminism
Oh, please. Pinterest isn't "killing" feminism. Read More »
Pinterest Wedding
Pinterest wedding
Planning a wedding with Pinterest? Total nightmare! Read More »

We don’t always talk about it, but we certainly all do it. For better or worse, cyber-stalking has become part of the DNA of a breakup. If you thought a breakup was bad in 2002 when you had to run into the ex at school or work the next day and maybe bump into them with a new girlfriend at the movie theater, how could you ever have imagined waking up to their Caribbean vacation on Facebook or their morning jog on Twitter?

Google was the gateway drug. It allowed us just a taste of personal information. And then Facebook, more so than either of its primogenitures, Friendster or MySpace, made shit real. The ability to “watch” an ex’s life post-you like it was a mid-market mimeo of “The Bachelor” made a breakup all the more heart-rending.

Twitter just facilitated that process. The updates moved into real time. You could know what an ex and a new girlfriend were up to at almost every second of the day. Did they both read the same Onion story? Did they meet in the park for lunch? Why the hell did he take her to that Ethiopian place that YOU introduced him to? WHY?

If you thought that was bad, you ain’t seen nothing yet my friends. Welcome to the latest frontier in social cyber-stalking, the one that might be the most dangerous of them all — Pinterest stalking. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Wanted To Be A Quaker

Losing My Religion
Rachel Rabbit White on growing up and out of the Bible Belt. Read More »
Dealbreaker: Jewish
She wasn't Jewish enough for him. Read More »
Catholic Sex
A guide to Catholic sex. Read More »

When I was a little girl and my non-Quaker grandmother wanted me to pipe down, she would say, “Quaker’s Meeting has begun. No more laughing, no more fun.” I obviously never listened, but enjoyed the quaintness of Grandma’s axiom. The Quakers must be kind of quiet and shy, I thought.

I’ve been a non-quiet, non-shy practicing Catholic for 28 years, and for the most part I’ve loved my religion. But as a pretty liberal human being who enjoys condoms and thinks her gay friends should be able to visit their partners in hospitals, I have issues. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Going To A Nude Beach Made Me Feel A Little Better About Life

Reasons To Be Naked
You should be naked more often. Read More »
Free Mood Boosters
Free ways to improve your mental health. Read More »
First Time Nude
The first time this writer posed nude. Read More »

I am not a beach person. The way seagulls swoop over your head like rats with wings terrifies me. I hate that feeling of sand caked in every crevice.

But when my friend Thomas invited my husband and I to a nude federal beach in New Jersey, rumored to be filled with spectacularly hung men and tanned, pierced women, I decided it was something worth trying.

“I think we should go,” I told my husband.

He shrugged.

Maybe it was because I needed a change. Spring had been of those staying-in-bed-smoking-cigarettes instead of going out seasons. I found myself fighting a constant drowsiness and listening to Jewel. Some days it took an effort to look both ways before crossing the street. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I’m An Asian Woman And I Date … Screw It, It’s Complicated

Dating Outside My Race
I do it ... because my race won't date me. Read More »
On Hot Asian Dudes
Jeremy Lin photo
Jeremy Lin reveals our weirdness with Asian-American male sexuality. Read More »
Guy Talk: Jerk
Why guys act like jerks when they break up with you. Read More »

“The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they’re untrue but they are incomplete.” — Chimamanda Adichie

Let’s play a game. It’s called Guess The Race.

Gentleman A was a hard partier. He did a lot of drugs and drinking in his youth. He almost failed out of college. He had a tumultuous relationship with his parents. He was in tremendous debt. He had a huge sense of entitlement. As he got older, he rarely exercised and gained weight. He cheated on his wife.

Gentleman B never drinks or does drugs. He prefers an evening at home programming or watching TV. If he stays out late, it’s to see a movie, listen to music, or talk about computers with his friends. He graduated from college in three years. He’s extremely fit. He always carries heavy loads. He cooks.

Which one is Asian? Which one is white? Keep reading »

Girl Talk: It Got Better

I Have Depression
Jessica has struggled with depression all her adult life. Read More »
Mental Health Days
In praise of mental health days. Read More »
Explaining Depression
What does it really feel like to suffer from depression? Read More »

I used to be the sort of person who was always looking for the next big thing. In high school, I wanted to be in college. In college, I wanted to have a job. Every job I had, I wanted to be more successful.

I didn’t learn about stillness, about just being, until I had to. And I don’t think it’s coincidental that the more I just be and the more gratitude I have for my life, the happier I am.

My bouts of depression have always had a chicken-and-the-egg quality to them. Was I on a downward spiral of depression throughout my mid-20s? Or was it from my stressful and demanding job and how hard I was on myself about not being the most amazing person ever? Did I feel depressed because I studied abroad in Eastern Europe away from my family and my friends? Or was I depressed already and that trip just exacerbated it?

I don’t think there are necessarily answers other than “both.” Just the way my mom is inclined to bruise easily if she knocks her leg on a coffee table, I’m inclined to get depressed easily. I wouldn’t have chosen to be this way if I had the choice. But since this is what the lottery stuck me with, I’ve learned how to cope with it. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Am My Mother’s Least Favorite Child

Fears From Mom
Strange fears our mothers instilled in us. Read More »
On Motherhood
Why are we treating moms like second class citizens? Read More »

When I was little, I was convinced my mother hated me. Between my two older brothers and me, I was positive I was the one she liked least. Even at a young age I could sense I was a disappointment, that I didn’t fit the stereotype of her dream daughter: sweet, demure, cooperative, loving. I was that at first, mind you. As a baby, I rarely cried or fussed. I had big blue eyes and wore smocked dresses and ruffled bloomers. It appeared that having me was worth it, I imagine she thought, despite the fact that she was separated from my father before I was even born.

“Daisy was a perfect baby,” my mother still says. “And then she turned three.” Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Stop Waiting To Be Prettier

My Nose Job
One writer talks about getting a nose job. Read More »
I'm Not Beautiful
But that's okay. Read More »
Tell Me I'm Pretty
Is it so much to ask to want to be told I'm beautiful? Read More »

You know that moment, where you’re gripping some of your side fat in the bath, and you just ate all of the leftover spaghetti at once, with pesto and tomato sauce and grated cheese and, weirdly, liverwurst, and you’re thinking, Tomorrow I will go to the gym. And then I’ll go every day after that, for the rest of my life. And I will lose weight. It’ll be easier than I expect it to. And then my hair will grow out and it’ll be thicker than last time. And then I’ll be prettier. And then I’ll wear sleeveless dresses all the time and I’ll be happy?

That moment is lying to you. Keep reading »

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