Tag Archives: girl talk

Girl Talk: I Refuse To Call Myself “Light-Skinned”

Soapbox: Colorstruck
Is Hollywood still colorstruck? Read More »
Good Hair Vs. White Hair
The ladies of Madame Noire chat with The Frisky about hair. Read More »
Guy Talk: Race
Why this guy dates outside his race. Read More »
Not Light Skinned

When you grow up in a relatively small town in suburban New Jersey, being the only person of color in your class, you’d understand why I had no idea that other members of my race consider me “light-skinned.” Where I grew up, there was no such thing. You were either black, white, Spanish or Indian. No one paid much attention to the shade of your skin or where your blackness/whiteness originated –at least not in my circle. You only cared about what you saw. Sure, some racism and stereotyping existed, but there was no in-depth analysis or scrutiny about the shade of your skin.

In some ways that method was great. It erased the turmoil experienced by many other African-Americans and allowed everyone to just be accepted for who they were. On the other hand, my peers and I were ill-prepared for the real world. We grew up a bunch of colorblind individuals who believed in treating everyone equally regardless of historical implications and racial indifferences. We were ignorant. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Breaking Up With My Mother

8 Types Of Mothers
...and the issues they gave you! Read More »
My Mother Is A Hoarder
An essay from a woman with a hoarder in the family. Read More »
Breaking Up With Mother

“Oooh this one looks discreet.”

My mom held up a hot pink vibrator. I was 16 years old and instead of going home to do homework or grab a snack like any normal teen, our mother-daughter outing consisted of going to the Love Boutique. I knew in my gut that none of this fell under the guise of “normal parenting.” She wanted me be the self-possessed, precocious young lady that she has spent years cultivating. Still very much a virgin, my eyes widened at the extensive array of sex toys that lined the dimmed store. Picking up a tiny silver bullet, my mom nodded her head in agreement. She was my constant companion and I never wanted to disappoint her, so I remained silent as she took the device that I was so nervously clutching onto.

While my friends were envious that I had been blessed with such a young and attractive mother, I loathed being in her presence. Yet, I was addicted to her in a way I couldn’t shake. The rest of the world thought I was the luckiest kid this side of Santa Monica Blvd. to have my mom as my best friend, while I viewed it as a nasty curse.

“You’re going to need some lube for that one,” her soft South African accent instructed. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: On Bearing The Unbearable

Military Sister
My brother joined the armed forces. Read More »
Soldiers Reunite With Dogs
Soldiers reunite with their adopted Afgan dogs. Watch »
Military Ban Lifted
women in military
The military has lifted the ban on women in combat roles. Read More »
Brother is being deployed

This week, I found out my brother is going to be deployed to Afghanistan. Ever since he joined the Marines, as difficult and stressful as the journey has been, I have always comforted myself with the fact that he wasn’t in a war zone, and that, thanks to the type of work he does, he probably would never have to be.

Over the course of the past couple years, I watched him swear his oath of loyalty to the military. I read his heartbreaking letters from bootcamp. I fell into a pretty deep depression. I fought with him and for a long time, we were estranged. I saw my family fall apart as we realized that our ways of dealing with such a massive change were completely incompatible.

But none of that mattered, because at least my brother was safe. At least my brother wasn’t at war. Whenever I read stories about military families with a loved one in the Middle East, I shuddered. When a friend of mine’s brother was deployed and she resumed her day-to-day life, I thought, She is so much stronger than me. I would just be a constant wreck. Imagining my brother in such a dangerous situation left me feeling frozen with fear. The idea of him killing people, the idea of him being killed — I had been able to stomach every other difficult milestone of this journey, but those two possibilities? I couldn’t even bear the abstract, hazy idea that someday they might be part of my reality.

And now my brother is going to war. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Assorted Thoughts On Sisterly Love

Our Frisky Sisterhood
frisky staff
How we work together every day without killing each other. Read More »
Military Sister
My brother joined the armed forces. Read More »
Girl Talk: Assorted Thoughts On Sisterly Love

Here are my first memories of my sisters.

My newborn sister Jenny is brought home from the hospital, three days after my birthday. I am excited, suspicious, eager, and in my curiosity, poke her in the eye, provoking a banshee shriek that does not stop. This sets the tone for all of our interactions for the rest of our lives, including adulthood, where we routinely bicker over the remote control and create pillow barriers on the couch at home, creating our separate but equal spaces.

Keep reading »

Girl Talk: On Lying About Having A Boyfriend

No More Nice Guys!
cartoon nice guy
How to tell if you're a "nice guy" and how to stop being one. Read More »
Shaming "Nice Guys"
nice guys of OK Cupid
All about the Nice Guys Of OK Cupid Tumblr. Read More »
Ask Almie: Love Letter
How not to write one, based on a letter Almie once wrote. Read More »
Girl Talk: On Lying About Having A Boyfriend

Two days ago, I lied about having a boyfriend. I don’t do this, ever. This is one of those things I do not like to do. I do not want to feel like I have to lie about having a boyfriend to get out of an uncomfortable situation. Before I get to this story, here is an example of a situation in which I could have lied about having a boyfriend but I didn’t.

I was in Las Vegas in May, walking around with some of my dearest blogger friends, when we were approached by two men. One guy went right up to a friend of mine; the other went to me. This man stopped me and said, “Can I ask you three questions and you answer honestly?”

“Does this one count?” I deadpanned. He paused. He didn’t get it. So he asked again, ”Can I ask you three questions and you answer honestly?” Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Don’t Masturbate (But That Doesn’t Make Me A Bad Feminist)

Masturbation Flowchart
Is now a good time to masturbate? Read More »
Masturbation Confessions
A chronic masturbator shares her secrets. Read More »
Weird Masturbation
The weirdest places one woman has masturbated. Read More »
Girl Talk: I Don't Masturbate (But That Doesn't Make Me A Bad Feminist)

I don’t masturbate. Don’t judge me.

That isn’t to say I never have. I’ve tried. I really have. But it’s always felt more of a chore -– a kind of requisite feminist activity -– than the pleasurable, relaxing, even necessary pastime I assume it is for everyone else.

While for most women, I’m told, masturbation is a shameful activity, my shame always came from the fact that my orgasms were never self-induced.

Feminists are supposed to masturbate. We’re supposed to be empowered, sexually liberated, independent women of the (sexy, sexy) future! In essence, we’re supposed to be able to give ourselves dick-free orgasms. Keep reading »

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