I was born with a giant, gaping hole in the roof of my mouth. Also known as a cleft palate, the cave within my lips has been through a 20-year nightmare from which I recently awoke. A rather rare occurrence, I was born with a cleft palate, but not a cleft lip.
My cleft… More »
The other day I gave my boyfriend a compliment. “Boo, you are so awesome — you’re like a human salve,” I told him. I said that after we’d gone tubing with 15 of my friends, and he had been kind enough to drive one car of us there, and made an effort to talk to… More »
Last week I was racing across the street in flip flops when, before I could stop it, my left foot landed on a pulverized rat. This was upsetting. Standing on the curb taking deep breaths, I decided to turn around and take a second look. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t as bad as I thought… More »
He liked to talk in bed — a lot, and always dirty — and, as part of his rhetorical repertoire, he liked to tell me about other women he’d been with while he was getting me off. He’d whisper in my ear about how this one went down on him while he told her what… More »
I don’t want to write about bikinis. I want to write about the amazing blue cheese dressing I made with buttermilk! (For some reason, I think buttermilk is the coolest thing ever.) And the pizza I found myself absentmindedly dipping in it until I’d eaten a whole piece like that.
I want to… More »
You probably know Mr. Snuffleupagus as the heavy-lashed wooly mammoth from “Sesame Street.” He’s the lovable, large, brown creature who swings his trunk to and fro with every step, spends his days hanging out with Big Bird and enjoys nothing more than a bowl of spaghetti. I, however, happen to regard Snuffleupagus as my personal… More »
I have a dark secret. Okay, it’s not actually that dark and as far as secrets go, it hasn’t been particularly well hidden, but still, here goes… This weekend, I am going to Las Vegas to see Celine Dion in concert. For the eighth time. I have an entire section of my closet dedicated to… More »
I think we all suffer from having secret fears about ourselves, that stunt our growth both personally and professionally. Since I graduated from college and became an “adult,” I’ve struggled with feeling like a fraud in my career.
I majored in acting in college, but before I studied it as a future profession,… More »
When I’m really upset there is only one person I want to talk with: my mom.
“Mom?” I said, my voice wobbling. “Ashley got into med school.”
“That’s great!” Mom exclaimed. Like me, my mother has known Ashley since we met in kindergarten.
“Yes … but … she got… More »
In the preview for Bravo’s upcoming reality show “Miss Advised,” internet personality Julia Allison boldly exclaims that she’s looking for a husband and has a 73-point checklist. When I heard that, my immediate thought was that I’ve never had a checklist, and even when I’ve set vague goals for the types of people I wanted… More »
It took months of begging, pleading, bribing, and promises to convince my parents to get me my first guinea pig. We lived on a 38-acre farm with dogs, cats, and chickens, but I yearned for a pet of my very own, a pet who would entertain me and understand me, a pet who would impress… More »
A few years back, I enjoyed a dream-like experience. It was like something out of the most ridiculous rom-com starring … oh, let’s say, Amanda Seyfried as me, the protagonist, and Channing Tatum as Mark, my strapping love interest.
I’d been on a I-just-broke-up-with-my-boyfriend-let-me-get-away-from-it-all vacation to San Francisco. I stayed with a friend,… More »
I was late to yoga, and when I walked in, carrying too many things, everyone was already on their mats.
Yoga is still really new for me. It still feels awkward and difficult, and I’m still at the point where I feel really proud of myself for going. Look at you, being all… More »
When I decided to visit one of my best friends from college in her new city of Austin, Texas, I was 26, single, and crashing with my parents in suburban New Jersey. It had been more than a year since I’d so much as shared a bed with a guy, even for one night. I… More »
You know how girls who are trying to lose weight tape pictures of sleek, gorgeous models to the fridge? I want a huge photo of Anjelica Huston, in “Smash,” on my wall, to remind me of what to aspire to.
Anjelica Huston is 60. And yeah, maybe she’s had some work done. And… More »
For the longest time, I have only had one guy friend. And I used to date him, in college. Which complicates things. It makes my husband Bear uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable, too. Not the him being my friend part. That’s fine. It happened naturally. We’re horrible gossips together. But I wish I could erase… More »
Halfway through my freshman year of high school, I found myself two states away from my childhood home of Seattle. I was sure my new school would offer an opportunity to shed my former identity as a shy, socially-inept girl and reinvent myself as the outgoing, popular girl that I knew was hiding somewhere inside. More »
I’ve been thinking a lot about a date I had this weekend. I’m not sure that the guy and I are a right fit for some compatibility reasons, but we did end up having an interesting conversation over coffee on Saturday night. We were discussing the different ways that online dating sucks for girls and… More »
A decade ago, my grandmother, then 82, broke her hip. Her recovery involved a month in the hospital while she learned to walk comfortably again, a month that drove my mother, my grandmother’s sole caretaker, to the brink of insanity.
“I can’t go on,” she’d moan. “Calgon, take me away.”
Such… More »
I just got back from a totally blissful six-day vacation in Tulum, Mexico, a quiet beach town about two hours from Cancun. I went alone. I’ve traveled solo (i.e. not in the company of a friend, boyfriend, or family member) before, but always as part of an organized group. This trip was the first time… More »