Tag Archives: girl scouts

One Box Of “Roe Vs. Wafers,” Please

Girl Scouts Attacked
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Indiana lawmaker accused the Girl Scouts of promoting homosexuality. Read More »
Cookie Boycott
Why bigots called for a boycott of Girl Scout cookies. Read More »
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ZOMG, there is Girl Scout Cookie-flavored lip balm! Read More »
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The best part about the Girl Scouts’ dramatic unmasking by a Republican lawmaker in Indiana as a “tactical arm of Planned Parenthood” is that the Scouts can now be honest about all their delicious cookie offerings.  [Team Coco]

The Girl Scouts Are Actually A Front Organization For Planned Parenthood, Obviously

Cookie Boycott
Why bigots called for a boycott of Girl Scout cookies. Read More »
Cookie Lip Balm
ZOMG, there is Girl Scout Cookie-flavored lip balm! Read More »
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Oh, my Girl Scout years. Swabbing each other’s cervixes. Examining each other’s breasts for strange lumps. Aborting each other’s unborn children. Those were the days!

Well, not anymore. Thanks, Rep. Bob Morris of Fort Wayne, Indiana, for blowing the lid off our cover: Girl Scout troops were once able to perform pelvic exams and prescribe herpes medication in peace, but now the groups have been outed as “a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood” by Rep. Morris. How did Rep. Morris learn all our secrets? From Googling, of course! (Or as he put it, “a small amount of web-based research.” Rather small, I should say.) As we all know everything you read on on the Internet is true, Rep. Morris was fully in the right to inform his fellow Republican colleagues in a letter on Sunday that he refused to support a resolution celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts because it encourages sex and promotes homosexuality.

Damn. And they were hiding it so well. [NY Daily News]

Today’s Lady News: Girl Scouts Help Develop A Prosthetic Hand For 3-Year-Old Girl

  • A Girl Scout troop in Iowa, who calls themselves the Flying Monkeys, helped develop a prosthetic hand for a disabled three-year-old girl named Danielle. Geez, I wonder what kind of badge they earned for that! [The Mary Sue]
  • A straight Republican by the name of Madeleine Koch, age 24, spoke out on against Minnesota’s impending gay marriage ban in this touching video. [Buzzfeed]
  • Osama bin Laden hid behind women — i.e. a female body shield — in the firefight that eventually took his life because he’s classy like that. Really, why not newborn babies? [Reuters]

Keep reading »

Don’t Tell Cookie Monster There Will Be Only 6 Kinds Of Girl Scout Cookies This Year

Unlike most of the girls I knew, I wasn’t that into being a Brownie. I thought the uniform was ugly (really, of all the colors in the world—brown?) and didn’t want to learn how to crochet in order to get a weird patch to sew onto a sash (really, sashes?). But there was one part of being a Brownie I liked—selling Girl Scout cookies. I remember walking up and down the aisles of my dad’s office bringing the promise of cookie deliciousness to his co-workers. I remember that people would take forever to study the order form before making their final selections.

Well, the decisions for Girl Scout cookie buyers this year will be much easier. There will only be six varieties of cookies to choose from in 2011. Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: The Girl Scouts Are A Haven For Lesbians & Pro-Abortion Training Ground

  • The Girl Scouts are a haven for lesbians and a pro-abortion training corps! A Republican candidate for Washington’s House of Representatives, Hans Zeiger, has allegedly been removing his writings from the internet, but the opposition has still been able to find cached pages on Google. Boy, are they interesting! “One might wonder why the Girl Scouts have been spared the painful attacks that have been launched upon the Boy Scouts by the Left in recent years,” he wrote in one gem. “The reasons are simple: the Girl Scouts allow homosexuals and atheists to join their ranks, and they have become a pro-abortion, feminist training corps. If the Girl Scouts of America can’t get back to teaching real character, perhaps it will be time to look for our cookies elsewhere.” Yes, this is the Girl Scouts he’s talking about. [The News Tribune]
  • Schools in California and South Dakota have banned students from wearing “I love boobies” bracelets, which raise money for breast cancer research. [CNN]

Keep reading »

Girl Scouts Host First Ever Duct Tape Fashion Show

As a born and bred New Yorker, I never had the inclination to join the Girl Scouts and learn the necessary wilderness skills to survive the jungle otherwise known as Central Park. Just because I can’t figure out how to start a fire by rubbing rocks together and lack the super cute uniform does not mean I can’t appreciate Girl Scout Cookies. My addiction to thin mints is a real problem. If the cookies didn’t already earn my undying devotion for the Girl Scouts, then their first ever duct tape fashion show did. More info, after the jump… Keep reading »

Girl Scout Leader Embezzles Cookie Fund

Talk about stealing from the cookie jar. In Dayton, Ohio a former Girl Scout troop leader, Tamara Jo Ward, was convicted of taking $28,000 over the course of five years from the bank account where her troop stored their cookie money. Using a debit card, she used the money to pay her bills, buy groceries, and even go on vacation. But she got caught. And yesterday, she was sentenced to cough up $20,000 in restitution. Ward’s going to have to be a tough cookie to deal with all of those angry girl scouts. Maybe they should make a new badge in her honor? Something with the scales of justice embroidered on it? [Dayton Daily News] Keep reading »

Girl Scouts Want To Ban Airbrushing

Their uniform isn’t the only thing the Girl Scouts, or “Girl Guides,” as they’re called in the UK, are modernizing; their manifesto is getting updated, too. No longer so focused on sewing, cooking, and making Mother’s Day corsages out of pink tissue paper, modern-day scouts are more concerned with putting a ban on “the airbrushing of models in magazines and a crackdown on peer pressure to have sex too soon.” To create their new manifesto, Girlguiding UK, a publication devoted to all things Girl Guides/Girl Scouts, surveyed 1,000 members about the issues that concern them most. The top ten concerns of today’s Girl Scouts? Find out after the jump. [The Daily Mail] Keep reading »

Girl Scouts Wear Badges For A Reason

Mmmm, Girl Scout Cookies. The things I’ve done to a box of those bad boys are too embarrassing to type. But it turns out I have more that one reason to feel guilty for eating so many. Two 12-year old Girl Scouts in Ann Arbor, Michigan, are refusing to hock the schlock treats because the palm oil used to make them is causing the deforestation of Indonesia. While demand for palm oil is on the rise because is lacks trans-fat, Madison Vorva and Rhiannon Tomtishen have asked their organization to stop contributing to the problem by selling the cookies. The pair have started a petition to stop the destruction, and since the Indonesian rain forest there is home to many orangutans, even Jane Goodall has signed it. All their hard work has reached Girl Scout HQ, where a spokeswoman for the organization said that ABC Bakers, who produces the cookies, has agreed to only buy palm oil from already established producers. But that’s not good enough for these smart cookies, who promise to continue being Scouts, but won’t stop protesting palm oil’s devastating production. We think they deserve a merit badge for this! [Seattle Times] Keep reading »

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