Last week, the House voted 229 to 186 to repeal the controversial “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” military policy, which essentially bans gays and lesbians from coming out while in the armed services. I appreciate this gesture from the House but, to be honest, I’m not really impressed. While this vote gives the illusion of doing something, the actual repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is still a long ways down the road and isn’t, by any means, a sure thing. Keep reading »
First it was gay and lesbian, then it was gay, lesbian and bisexual. Then someone threw transgender in the mix. Somewhere along the line, it became OK to refer to gays as queers and now, they’ve decided it’s LGBTQIA. That’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex and allies. The “gay community” today includes everyone who doesn’t fit into the conventionally straight category, making for a “community” that isn’t a community at all but rather a dumping ground of people deemed deviant by society. We don’t have much in common except for the fact that our sexuality isn’t the type that’s found in the all-American vision of two kids and a white picket fence.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about why the “gay community” doesn’t seem to be able to get anything accomplished. We seem to be spinning our wheels in the mud, not moving forward. Once in a while, we seem to sink a little deeper. We don’t have gay marriage; we have Proposition 8, domestic partnerships and civil unions. We don’t have acceptance; we have an overly-sexualized reputation filled with stereotypes that all gay men talk with a lisp and are great dressers while every lesbian drives a pickup truck and hates men. We aren’t met with open arms. We’re met with furtive glances, cat calls and the occasional rude comment, at best.
Keep reading »
Last weekend, my girlfriend and I went to a pub full of guys shooting pool and drinking beer. We were there to see her friend, Mike, a DJ. He’s got a weekly gig at this place and, as he doesn’t seem to get too many of them, it’s pretty important that he keep it. I thought we were being pretty well-behaved. I’m not really big on PDA in places like that because, frankly, I feel out of place anyway and I don’t want to draw attention to myself.
But as the night progressed my girlfriend and I started to get tipsy. We didn’t do anything over the top but I know for a fact that I reached for her a couple times, danced with her and probably even kissed her. This is pretty standard stuff for a heterosexual couple, but I noticed that we were being gawked and glared at. I leaned over and asked my girlfriend’s guy friend if he’d noticed. He gave a fervent nod. Uh-oh. Keep reading »
A few weeks ago, my girlfriend’s father told her the family is taking a vacation to Maryland this summer. Her immediate response was, “I’m not going.” Desperate to get his very un-family-oriented daughter to participate, he quickly added, “Your girlfriend can come.”
She mentioned this to me on the phone later and, naturally, I was very enthusiastic. The two of us talked about how nice it would be to lie on the beach together, especially at night. We discussed swimming in the ocean and sleeping in every day for a week. By the end of our phone conversation, the two of us had talked so much about the trip, it felt like the trip had already happened.
But things changed when my girlfriend excitedly told her mother that I’d likely be going, too. Keep reading »
A few weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were in a pizza place and a group of big, drunk guys wearing sports jerseys and smelling of beer walked in. We were just leaving and as my girlfriend stood up, I looked at her and thought, “Wow, I’m so lucky to be dating her.” I couldn’t resist leaning over and pecking her on the cheek. Before you freak out, I didn’t suck on her neck or stick my tongue down her throat. I said peck. On the cheek.
But the boisterous jocks went silent and one of them whispered, “lesbians.” My girlfriend and I smiled and I rolled my eyes. Seriously, how could anyone be so juvenile? But as we were walking out the door one of the guys yelled something like, “Hey, do you girls like DILDOS!?!?” and the whole group just cracked up. Swearing, I turned back, determined to give those jerks a piece of my mind. But my girlfriend grabbed my hand and pulled me across the street.
“I was surprised you kissed me in front of them,” she said once I was done cursing. “I mean, you knew that would happen.” Keep reading »
Spring may have sprung last week, but here in New York City, things are still not heating up as much as I’d like. I don’t know about you but I’m dreaming of sun, sandy beaches and balmy breezes. In order to satiate my thirst for travel, I started doing some vacay research and I was surprised to learn that many popular destinations are totally unfriendly to LGBT peeps. So I decided to round up a list of places I’m going to avoid for my own safety, and places you should steer clear of just to make a point. Keep reading »